The New Intimacy

Women-Are you a "Hard to Orgasm" type?

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Contributor: jmex83 jmex83
My wife seems to have an issue with orgasming with me, before me or even after me. It takes quite a bit for her to orgasm. Even when I am doing things that she is really getting into, its almost like she is forcing it lol. If that makes sense.

How many of you have this issue, and if so, what do you find works best? I really want to be able to have her orgasm with me, or even at all-during sex, but I am trying to look for some new ways to help things along. Any suggestions?
04/14/2012
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Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
I'll be watching this thread since despite many efforts I have never had one.
04/14/2012
Contributor: SecretToyLover2 SecretToyLover2
I am. Definitely. But I have found that it is stress and embarrassment that causes me not to. If my mind is on other things, for example, cleaning the laundry before the night is through... I can't orgasm. So I make sure things are taken care of before sex.

As far as embarrassment, what I mean is that I am self-conscious about my weight. I am not very overweight. Just a little chunky. My grandma says I'm too skinny and my mother says I'm fat. Hopefully that gives you an idea of where I'm at. Anyway, I have a tiny belly that I am constantly aware of during sex. When my husband thrusts, I always feel like it jiggles and I concentrate on it to the point where I forget about my efforts to orgasm.

I never told my husband until recently and he's started to tell me things during sex like "you're beautiful" or "your body is gorgeous" and it takes my mind off it all. I'm glad that he's started doing that because I think that is what I was looking for.
04/14/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
My wife seems to have an issue with orgasming with me, before me or even after me. It takes quite a bit for her to orgasm. Even when I am doing things that she is really getting into, its almost like she is forcing it lol. If that makes sense. ... more
Simultaneous orgasm is not the norm, and pressure to achieve it might be making things worse. Even though you do things she physically enjoys, mentally she is probably worrying about how long it takes her to orgasm. My advice would be to work on removing that worry. Focus on what's pleasurable regardless of how quick or slow the process is, and don't bring up timing.
04/14/2012
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Yes and no. There are a few types of stimulation that allow me to orgasm without fail, but nothing else works.
04/15/2012
Contributor: lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
My wife seems to have an issue with orgasming with me, before me or even after me. It takes quite a bit for her to orgasm. Even when I am doing things that she is really getting into, its almost like she is forcing it lol. If that makes sense. ... more
yes its hard for me to have one but when i do man lok out
04/15/2012
Contributor: CindyH CindyH
take me long time to get an orgasmingsome time i just fake it
04/15/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Simultaneous orgasm is not the norm, and pressure to achieve it might be making things worse. Even though you do things she physically enjoys, mentally she is probably worrying about how long it takes her to orgasm. My advice would be to work on ... more
This! A million times this!

Women already put a TON of pressure on themselves in the bedroom. How long it takes to orgasm is something a lot of women are already super self-conscious about.

One of the best things to do is to stop thinking about the orgasm and just do what feels good. The better it feels, the more you should just keep doing it.

You didn't say how long it usually takes her, but keep in mind that it can take at least 15 minutes for a woman to even be aroused enough to possibly orgasm, and only THEN does the real work towards her orgasm begin. (As quoted by the book She Comes First - which I would definitely recommend to both of you - it's enlightening and really helps take much of the pressure off in that department.)
04/15/2012