The New Intimacy

Tummy aches after orgasm, "too tight" and pregnant sex questions

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Contributor: PeachieClean PeachieClean
I'm not really a sex "newbie" by any means, but I can't solve my own problems. Everyone else thinks I must know everything there is to know but I am the first to admit that I don't. So, on to my questions! (Note, I /am/ pregnant right now, but these issues have been around long before the baby)

Does anyone else get a tummy ache after sex? I can masturbate all I want and be fine, but after about three orgasms during sex I get this terrible stomach ache and have to stop. I'd really like to get rid of this, so that I can keep up with my boyfriend. He can go and go and go but I just... Can't.

He doesn't really complain at all, but my vagina does tend to make sex uncomfortable for me. He's quite girthy to me, and I am rather tight, especially now that we have fewer chances to have sex. Not only is it difficult (And often somewhat painful) to begin sex I get sore really really quickly. I have even had times that I've bled after sex because I ignored how sore I was getting and let myself get rubbed raw. We /do/ use lube but that doesn't help the pressure or all of the rubbing issues.

I really enjoy missionary sex right now because I'm tired quite a lot and it requires a lot less effort on my part than our other favorites (Which typically have me on top) but now it's putting a fair bit of strain on my tummy (He leans forward when he finishes) which isn't so good. What other positions are good for nights that I'm really tired and just don't have a lot of fight left in me? Any other pregnant sex suggestions?

And, on the topic of being pregnant, any good suggestions on getting your body back after? Suggestions for stretch marks (I have a few on my back/hips now)? What about managing the hormone induced insanity? Any advice at all would really be nice. Thank you!
05/20/2013
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Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
My belly would get uncomfortable when I would orgasm during pregnancy, but they don't when I'm not pregnant, so I can't totally help you with that.

As far as it being uncomfortable to have sex now, there are some things you can do to make it easier. Since he take a while to orgasm, I would suggest some foreplay that will get him feeling close to finishing, but then switching to having vaginal sex with you and finishing that way. While that's going on, you can use a good amount of lubricant and if you don't have a high risk pregnancy, can carefully use a slim sex toy to get you used to the feeling and will help prepare you for your husband.

Different positions can be challenging while you're pregnant and the same things won't work for everyone. One of the ones that work best is the spooning position. Have your guy lay behind you and penetrate you from there. The bed will support your belly and you can allow him to do most of the moving. Does he realize that he's putting strain on you when he finishes? If not, let him know! Maybe there's a way he can prevent doing it. Try to experiment with different position, pillows and blankets bunched up are your friends. Keep communicating with him and hopefully you two will be able to figure out what will work best for you.

I can't help you with stretch marks, nothing worked for me. I tried the cocoa butter and that didn't help, but I've heard of people using Mederma and Vitamin E oil as well to help reduce the appearance. You're not going to be able to completely get rid of them, but they will even out and tone down in time. I have silver looking ones now. Try not to worry too much about it, it's all a part of the process!

To help lose weight, breastfeed your baby. It's amazing in a million ways for both of you. Trust me, you won't regret it!

Make sure you have support around you and have someone *nearly* always available if you need to talk/vent/cry/etc. Hormones are crazy and can be really rough after you have a baby. If you can, find a local support group, even an online forum for women who've just given birth is great. Surround yourself with supportive people who are willing to help in any way that they can.

I hope at least some of this is helpful! If you ever need to talk, you can message me! I have three daughters, so I've been through a lot of this!
05/20/2013
Contributor: PeachieClean PeachieClean
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
My belly would get uncomfortable when I would orgasm during pregnancy, but they don't when I'm not pregnant, so I can't totally help you with that.

As far as it being uncomfortable to have sex now, there are some things you can ... more
Well I'm not really sure if the tummy ache stuff is a physical problem (I'm pretty short, and he's... Definitely not small.) or a mental problem (sex hasn't always been a healthy aspect of my relationships) because it seems like it could be either/or to me.

Thankfully the only "problem" is that I have type O- blood, so as long as nothing gets severely injured I can do most things. Unfortunately, even with slim toys I tend to get sore pretty quickly when thrusting is involved. Do you think just putting it in and leaving it in would be helpful?

He tries his best to stay off of my tummy, but there are just a few seconds when he has a hard time keeping himself up and he sinks down just a little, and at 240 lbs, even a portion of his torso isn't really light. That is my main reason for wanting to try something else.

I actually already have stretch marks from puberty when my hips spread and my boobs grew over night (At least it felt that way) so I know they aren't the worst things in the world, but I would like to reduce what I get as much as I can. I like to belly dance and that leaves my tummy exposed a lot so minimizing the damage is gonna go a long way to keeping me on track. I will look into the Mederma though ^^

I plan to do my best to breastfeed already, though my family has a lot of problems with breastfeeding. I'm hoping I lean toward my Dad's side enough that I can get out of that one though. And, the belly dancing is keeping me in pretty good shape so hopefully I'll be able to stick with it and not have to worry about losing a whole lot in the end. I'm not too worried though, since I love dancing and drum music is fun to wiggle to!

I'm pretty lucky, I have a few friends who are pregnant right now. One just had her son and the other two are about 1 and 2 months away from having their girls. On top of that, my cousin's girlfriend just had a little girl! But I don't do the greatest at the whole "talk it out" thing, especially when I don't actually know what is wrong.

Everything you said either helped or got me thinking! Thank you very, very much for responding. I'm glad that my first is a girl, I just wish the timing had been better. But I think that is what nearly everyone says, so I try not to dwell on that too much. I am glad that her dad is a really great, really supportive guy. I never would have made it this far without snapping without him.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Munko Munko
I can't help with the sore tummy - it only happened while I was pregnant. I would think with the vaginal soreness, you might just need more warm up time to *truly* relax. I have similar issues, and if I don't get a TON of time to relax, then it hurts, or I get raw and bleed from being too tense (even if I'm enjoying it)

Pregnant sex positions - spooning was a favorite, doggy also was (prop your chest/arms up on the couch so you don't have to hold that big baby belly up all by yourself and can have some more comfort). We used to pile the blankets and pillows up behind me on the bed, so we could do a modified missionary with me half sitting up (I couldn't lay flat on my back or baby's heart rate dropped - it's not really advised after 16 weeks for that reason, anyways) That position prevented him from putting any weight on me afterwards because I wasn't directly under him and we were both kind of propped up.

Me sitting on the couch, him kneeling on the floor worked well. Me on my side, him sitting kneeling at my knees, worked.
05/24/2013
Contributor: dontbackdown02 dontbackdown02
Quote:
Originally posted by PeachieClean
I'm not really a sex "newbie" by any means, but I can't solve my own problems. Everyone else thinks I must know everything there is to know but I am the first to admit that I don't. So, on to my questions! (Note, I /am/ ... more
I have some of the same issues. Coco butter is suppose to help with the stretch marks.

I've had some issues with this pregnancy to the point having sex scares me. So we plainly just don't do it :/ If it continues or becomes worry some see a doctor about it, they may be able to suggest things for you to make it more comfortable.
08/03/2013