The New Intimacy

Not sure if I've had one...

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Contributor: Blinker Blinker
This is fucking embarrassing.

I lost my virginity at 19, and am currently 22. I've had over a dozen sexual partners and quite a collection of toys. Butt plugs, vibes, dildos, I even have a vibrating octopus and a dildo with bunny ears.

I consider myself a sexual person, with a healthy libido and a monogamous partner who enjoys sex as much as I do.

Now after taking part in some discussions online about orgasms, especially G-spot orgasms, it got me wondering:

Have I ever really...come?

I enjoy sex. Lots. And I've felt wonderful. But I just can't "let go". My legs thrash around and I breathe horribly weird and feel like I'm going to explode and see actual fireworks...then it fades. I'm not completely sure of this is an orgasm.

I always become hyper-conscious of the fact that I'm about to come when I feel what I feel during sexual activity. But damnit I want to know if I've come or not and I get confused.

After sex, I feel satisfied in a deep way but I still wonder if I've really, fully, actually had an orgasm.

So, ladies, have I come? Or am I about to sneeze? Because sometimes the two blend together for me.
08/20/2009
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Contributor: Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
This is fucking embarrassing.

I lost my virginity at 19, and am currently 22. I've had over a dozen sexual partners and quite a collection of toys. Butt plugs, vibes, dildos, I even have a vibrating octopus and a dildo with bunny ears. ... more
No need to be embarrassed I used to wonder that as well until I actually had an orgasm. My rule of thumb is if you are not sure then you have not. If you feel like you are gonna explode but don't actually explode then you have not. As long as you are having fun and continue to feel "satisfied in a deep way" I would say don't worry about it your well on your way. You might be having mini g-spot orgasms if you feel waves though.

Quick question, do you stop what you are doing when you are on the edge of explosion? Why do you think it fades?
If you are stopping I would suggest you keep doing what you are doing even if you feel like you are gonna urinate the orgasm is usually right after that sensation.
08/21/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
I tend to go along with Rocky, but know that there are varying degrees of orgasm. Not every one will be a mind-blower for every person. I have orgasms occasionally that are not as powerful, and just make me say WTF. I can feel the release and so on, but they are less intense because maybe I was more tired or had a hard time keeping my mind off a certain problem. So just because they are not really powerful doesn't mean you didn't have them.

I remember reading posts by others here on EF in other topics that said the same thing, for the most part, that you are saying, and after a while they realized they had been climaxing all along, but they were more on the mini side.

For some women letting go enough to obtain a release is not an easy thing. Getting turned on is easy, but when the climax is about to happen they freeze up some. Seems that childhood conditioning plays a role here, although I'm sure that's not the whole enchilada. It sounds like this is happening to you to a small degree--the potential is there for a mind-blower but you pull back enough that it turns into a sneeze.

Bottom line, however, is that only you can judge whether or not they are occuring.
08/21/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I suggest taking your time when masturbating - and pushing past the explosion to see what happens. If you're relaxed, with no pressure and can take time to experiment, it may help you answer your question.
08/21/2009
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Rocky LaFemme
No need to be embarrassed I used to wonder that as well until I actually had an orgasm. My rule of thumb is if you are not sure then you have not. If you feel like you are gonna explode but don't actually explode then you have not. As long as ... more
I think I subconsciously change whatever I'm doing when I'm about to explode. It's a jumble of countless little thought and thing sin my mind and I think "OMG OMG OMG" and just...stop. I think there's a plateau my mind has to get over before my body will let me fully orgasm.

But thanks for your input
08/21/2009