The New Intimacy

My hymen is a beast, and I just need a hug right now. :(

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Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Over the weekend, I bought an Uma because I really wanted to give an internal toy a chance, to see what it was like.

But I have a hymen of steel (I know I don't have a problem with vaginal muscles relaxing, I've talked to my doctor. It's my hymen), and now I'm sore (yes, I used a ton of lubricant) and nothing to show for my efforts. I made a teeny bit of progress but I feel terrible.

I hate my hymen.


I've always heard about how easy it is - like, you can tear them horseback riding or dancing, or that they just go away on their own. But, no, I'm 22 and mine is still there, hanging out, I've seen it, so this isn't just speculation. The hilarious thing is, I'm pretty sure my partner has this same problem. We're lucky.

Anyone else had or have a beast of a hymen ? Stories ?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I never had a hymen.
5  (5%)
My hymen broke/went away on its own.
33  (31%)
My hymen was easy to break.
15  (14%)
My hymen wasn't easy, but not too bad.
16  (15%)
My hymen was a terrible beast to break.
14  (13%)
My hymen remains unbroken.
5  (5%)
Other ?
18  (17%)
Total votes: 106
Poll is closed
12/14/2011
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Contributor: Nothere Nothere
There are dialater kits...are you a virgin?
12/14/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Quote:
Originally posted by Nothere
There are dialater kits...are you a virgin?
I was looking at those, but wasn't sure.

I guess I'm a virgin in the sense that a penis has never been up in there. I've only been with other vagina-owners, although I'm genuinely surprised and confused that my hymen is still as intact as it is. Stuff has been up there, and for the last seven years, I thought I didn't even have one any more - but I've now looked and confirmed that by some magic it is.

If I believed in such things, I'd say it re-grew itself. But maybe I'd just previously stretched it and it bounced back.
12/14/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
I've had loads of penis-in-vagina sex and dildo play for years and I've still got a hymen.

If your hymen is unusually thick or extensive, you won't be able to break it or stretch it out of the way with anything less traumatic than something resembling minor surgery, and for that it's actually best to go to the doctor and get the remains removed with actual surgery rather than struggling along injuring yourself.
12/14/2011
Contributor: voenne voenne
That doesn't sound good

Mine wasn't difficult to break per se, I did a lot of horseback riding for years, but it didn't break until I actually started inserting things (actually, it was my boyfriend who did it). When it popped for me, it really hurt, and I bled a little, then fainted. Was sore for a while. It wasn't the best experience.
12/14/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I honestly have no idea when mine broke, but it definitely broke before I had PIV sex for the first time. (I also waited to use tampons and vaginal dildos til after PIV sex, as well.)

There is still a little piece of it hanging around, though, and it kind of sticks out sometimes, and it looks really funky but I can't feel it even if someone pinches it. Kind of like a skin tag. I don't want to tear it off, though, because I don't want it to bleed all over or anything. So, even though it doesn't interfere with my sex life, I know what it's like to have a hymen hanging around where I don't want it :/
12/14/2011
Contributor: whitknee whitknee
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
Over the weekend, I bought an Uma because I really wanted to give an internal toy a chance, to see what it was like.

But I have a hymen of steel (I know I don't have a problem with vaginal muscles relaxing, I've talked to my doctor. ... more
im sure theres something you cold do!!!
12/14/2011
Contributor: switzerland switzerland
hmm this is so interesting. i honestly have no idea. i had some spotting after the first times i was fingered/had sex.. was that it?
12/14/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I think my hymen was pretty easy to tear and it's definitely not bothering me anymore. However, it's a painful story- I was standing on a chair to get a dish or something when I was nine, and I lost my balance and my vagina hit the top of the chair on the way down. Holy crap, that was painful. My mom had to check down there to make sure I didn't break my pubic bone or something, and she said I was bleeding.

Ugh, I would have taken sex over that any day. I had bruising for a couple weeks.

But good luck with yours!
12/14/2011
Contributor: EdenJP EdenJP
Interesting
12/14/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I don't know whether it broke by accident or when I had sex, but my first time wasn't painful at all.
12/14/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Also: Much love and I hope it gets fixed, one way or another, soon.
12/14/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Mine required a ton of careful stretching with fingers before anything larger could go in there. It was such a beast that it took him forever to get his finger into me, but it didn't really hurt, it was more an odd stretch. It took weeks and weeks to move up to more than one finger...

Now I'm a size queen... Go figure.

So try stretching with fingers? With any luck you can get it on your own.
12/14/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
I broke mine mostly before I had sex, so I really don't even know how it happened. I bled a little my first time, but almost none. I wish I had better advice!
12/14/2011
Contributor: bunnygrl bunnygrl
Mine did not break for quite a while after I became sexually active, I didn't even realize it though until there was blood.
12/15/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Thank you SO much, everyone.

It's just really frustrating. I don't really care about it as a symbol of virginity one way or the other, but it's upsetting when it's something out of your control that's the problem.

Everyone would suggest that it was my muscles tightening up and trying to reject entry, but my doctor confirmed that wasn't the problem. I found the pelvic exam to be horribly painful, but it was my cervix, not anything lower down, that was the problem.

I guess I'll ask again next time I see her. I've heard about the surgery, and that it can be done in-office. I'm going to try to do it on my own (by stretching, not self-surgery, haha), but my body really wants to retain its archaic symbol of virginity for some reason.
12/16/2011
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
This must be super irritating! I have no advice for you but I definitely suggest you see a doctor or get a dilator kit. Be careful!
I haven't had a hymen in quite a while lol, but when I did lose it, it bled a lot so I wouldn't recommend breaking it yourself if yours is this difficult.
12/16/2011
Contributor: RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
I have to vote "other" because I don't remember mine ever breaking (I'm a virgin, but I've used a bunch of insertable toys). I've only bled from penetration once, but after examining myself with a hand-held mirror, I didn't look any different down there than before the bleeding happened. I have to assume that my hymen was just really small or something.
12/16/2011
Contributor: HouseWench HouseWench
I'm the only one that never had a hymen? really?

I'm sorry about your hymen, it sounds really intrusive for something that's all tucked away I hope it'll be easy to stretch on your own and that it doesn't require surgery.
12/17/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
I voted that mine was a terrible beast to break and honestly I still don't know it ever completely tore all the way as I still experience slight pain sometimes especially with insertion of toys that have a large head to them.
12/17/2011
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
I think mine broke when I did gymnastics because when I first had sex, it wasn't painful?
12/27/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua


I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with this.

I definitely think it is possible to stretch yourself out with your fingers and some lube. You can try inserting one finger and applying downward pressure on the entrance. Keep the pressure on for a few minutes, and then relax. You can repeat this a few times until it feels more comfortable. If you can insert two fingers, just apply pressure around the sides, or work on stretching them apart until you can insert another finger. If two fingers feel like an uncomfortable stretching, you can just work on inserting them and feeling the stretch. Stretching can also be accomplished using dilators or other narrow objects (use a condom if they aren't sterile), but that is kind of an investment.
12/27/2011
Contributor: PeachieClean PeachieClean
I still have my hymen as well. It is an ass. I swear. It's kind of getting used to being stretched and moved out of the way, but sex is always hard and slow to start. Pretty much all insertion is. I'm actually considering talking to my doctor to see what can be done about removal. Partially because it makes things down there look even more creepy and mouth-like and partially because it makes everything more painful and uncomfortable than absolutely necessary.

Tl;dr I still have mine too, and it sucks.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Janis Janis
Mine tore fairly easily the first time I had sex, and I bled a very small amount. However, it was VERY painful. I no longer have any issues with it, for which I'm glad! I hope you get yours sorted out.
12/28/2011
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I bled alot the second time I had sex. The first time he didn't realize I still had mine and it was painful, but once it was gone, I haven't had any issues.

As far as Uma goes, she hasn't been able to produce any g-spot O's for me.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Liz123 Liz123
I really don't know when I lost it, but I know it's not there.
12/29/2011
Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
Listen to this! Hopefully this will make you feel better. I've only had one male sexual partner (my boyfriend). When we had sex the first time, it was painful because my hymen broke. Or so I thought. I bled the first time but I also bled the second time (or maybe it was a few times after that). So I thought surely it must have fully broken by that time. Well, I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and four months now. A few days ago, we used a vibrating cock ring for the first time and he really got in there. I'm not sure if it was the vibrations or the depth or what but something happened differently. Usually when he gets in there deep, it hurts and this time was no different. Except when I pulled out, there was blood everywhere! And now when he puts it in deep, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it used to. So as far as we can figure, my hymen STILL did not fully break after a year and four months of regular sex. So don't feel bad because you're not alone.
01/02/2012
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I don't ever remember having one ever. I never had any blood or pain with sex and, when playing with toys, mine never got in the way.
01/08/2012
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
and

Mine broke on my first time of having sex - it hurt and even affected him cause of how tight I was.
01/10/2012
Contributor: Mistress Jezebel Mistress Jezebel
I never had any blood but I did have a tiny bit of pain. That sucks that yours won't break.
01/10/2012