Man, I really feel where you're coming from. I know it's not much of a consolation, but I didn't even get my first kiss or go on my first date until I was 22. I had no idea why guys weren't interested in me. I figured I was just too unattractive, which did nothing but make me hurt not only emotionally, but to the point of my heart would physically ache, and it only made it worse when I would see someone that I would consider less attractive than myself with someone they were happy with. For the longest time I tried to convince myself that I just wasn't meant to be happy, and I would probably live through the duration of my life alone. It even seemed that everyone else had the same opinion, since I would always hear family members asking my (much younger) sister and cousin how things were going in the relationship department, but no one ever seemed to care how I was doing.

Do I think that there's someone out there for everyone? Well, I really don't know. Being raised on fairy tales and Disney movies, more than anything I would love to say yes. Deep down I probably believe it. Unfortunately I also think that there are some people that, for whatever reason, never find/end up with that person. It could be that maybe they weren't "paying attention", or they didn't realize that they should've given that one person who casually smiled at them a second thought, or even that they just weren't ready for it at that particular time.

When I first met my husband, I knew he was interested in me (from what my roommate at the time had told me (she was a mutual friend)), but I had absolutely NO INTEREST in him. Sure, he was nice and everything, but I didn't find him physically attractive, and he just wasn't what I had always imagined for myself. I hung out with him to be polite, not trying to lead him on because (knowing his intentions) I didn't want to hurt him. We'd just watch movies (a lot of Jackass and Kevin Smith), maybe go mudding, a good amount of casual, non-datey things. When he finally did ask me out on a proper date, I still didn't want to go through with it, but as nice as he was I couldn't stand to turn him down and hurt him in any way. Lucky for the both of us, I did learn to love him over time, and now I can't imagine what life would be like without him. As cheesy as it sounds, he really is the best friend that I've ever had.

Again, from my own personal experience I know this is no real comfort to hear, because it sounds like I'm kind of bragging about how great everything turned out for me. But really, it does get better. You just have to take a chance, allow yourself to "let go" and do something outside your zone. Sometimes it might be the one person that you least expect, or even want. I hope that everything works out for you, whether it's in the not-to-distant future or further down the road. If you ever want to talk about it (or anything else), I'm here to listen.