The New Intimacy

Have you ever had anal fissures?

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Contributor: K101 K101
During a very unique conversation, I was shown photos of anal fissures and oh my goodness how painful it looks. I was kind of curious about them though. Have any of you ever had them or currently do? If you feel comfortable sharing, I would be happy to hear anything you could tell me about them. From what I understand they're commonly caused from tears in that area. Now this makes anal sex seem even more horrifying to me! Lol. I've never done anything anal, but I can see how tears could happen easily. Especially since tears in that region can happen even while waxing near the vaginal entrance. Believe me, it is not fun!

Has anyone had fissures that were a result of anal play? If you're uncomfortable sharing you don't have to. I also wondered if they ever go away or is it something that's there forever?

Forgive me for so many questions. I'm kind of a health nut and really like to know everything I can. Any info to share?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I have anal fissures.
4
I have had anal fissures in the past.
17
Anal fissures never go away.
I've had them (or currently have them) and they are easy to get rid of.
10
I've had them (or currently have them) and they are not easy to get rid of.
2
I've had anal fissures as a result of anal play.
5
Never had them.
45
I have never heard of anal fissures.
6
I might have them right now.
2
Other.
6
They are very painful!
5
Total votes: 102 (67 voters)
Poll is closed
09/28/2011
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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
I do know that they can be very painful, but I've heard of kids getting them without knowing it. The reason I say "kids" is because of my old work at the women's health center and planned parenthood. They wouldn't even know. They would say it "kind of hurts to go #2" and then upon doing an exam we find a fissure.

I chose other because although I have never developed a fissure to the point where it was so bad that my doctors needed to treat me, I have gotten tears as a result of anal play. Reason? I bought a really shitty anal toy that had a seam that actually made me bleed. It never got infected, thankfully. I suppose this is due to the fact that I douched before play.

It healed up, and I even got it checked on. It did hurt a lot for about two days, though.
09/28/2011
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I used to get these quite a bit when my husband and I were doing a lot of anal. They hurt like hell. If I recall correctly, they give you some cream that you insert and apply externally which makes them go away fairly quickly. They're no fun.
09/28/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
If you're getting anal fissures from anal play/sex - you're just flat out doing it wrong.

It can take weeks or months to build up to the ability to accept anal penetration and learning the proper relaxation and lubrication techniques. Anal lube is like sunscreen - reapply, reapply and reapply again!
09/28/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
(Trigger warning.)

I have had an anal fissure as a result of "anal play"---but it was nonconsensual, I was terrified and my body was tensed up. (It's impossible to relax your muscles when you are in that situation.)

So, it was pretty bad. It bled for a week straight (I just wore maxi pads because I didn't know what to do). Then it healed a little bit on its own, so it would be fine most of the time but would start to bleed again whenever I went to the bathroom. After two weeks (so three weeks total) I finally got the nerve to go to the doctor. (I told them I must have torn it from constipation.)

They had me put Preparation H on a few times per day, and take a stool softener to prevent my sphincter from having to open very much to let matter pass. After I went to the doctor, I stopped bleeding in three days, but kept on with the ointment and the stool softeners for an extra week to be sure. So I voted it was easy to fix, because even though the mental hurdle was big, once I knew what to do, it did clear up right away.

I also avoided all anal play for 9 months afterward, which was really hard for me because I like anal a lot. I was lucky enough to have a caring partner who helped to ease me back into it.

I'm back to full health (mentally and physically) now, and I'm still a huge fan of anal---but I do hope I am never put in that situation again. As long as anal play is consensual, and both parties are excited about it, and everybody is willing to be patient if the receiving partner is not relaxed yet ---anal is great and wonderful.
09/28/2011
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
If you're getting anal fissures from anal play/sex - you're just flat out doing it wrong.

It can take weeks or months to build up to the ability to accept anal penetration and learning the proper relaxation and lubrication techniques. ... more
It was about five years ago and, yeah, we didn't really know what we were doing at the time so that would likely be the reason. We tried graduating up to actual anal sex via plugs and used what seemed like gallons of lube, but I'm sure there was some key element we were missing thus resulting in the fissures.
09/28/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
If you're getting anal fissures from anal play/sex - you're just flat out doing it wrong.

It can take weeks or months to build up to the ability to accept anal penetration and learning the proper relaxation and lubrication techniques. ... more
This is not necessarily true. I got an anal fissure from anal sex, but we went slowly, used lubricant and stopped when it became painful. Unfortunately, a small fissure occurred as a result. Small fissures can happen after something as simple as a bulky stool. Usually they heal on their own, but this small fissure did not heal right away. It became exacerbated by sphincter spasms from the pain. I needed to see a doctor, and to this day, though the fissure has healed, I have to be extremely careful with anal play and with my diet. I will probably never have rigorous anal sex, because I have had this fissure reopen.

All I can say is be CAREFUL with anal sex and always, always listen to your body. ANY pain is a clear sign to STOP. If you develop a fissure, warm sitz baths, lots of hydration, stool softener pills or fruits like prunes to keep stools soft are your friends. Doctors can prescribe topical muscle relaxing creams that will stop your sphincter muscle from spasming. The sphincter muscle spasms from the pain, which causes you to tense up, making the bowel movement more difficult. This, in turn, makes the fissure worse, and it becomes a vicious cycle.
09/28/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
(Trigger warning.)

I have had an anal fissure as a result of "anal play"---but it was nonconsensual, I was terrified and my body was tensed up. (It's impossible to relax your muscles when you are in that situation.)

So, it ... more
Thank you for 1) the trigger warning and 2) sharing your story. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that, but it's extremely heartening to hear that this experience did not take your love of anal play and the pursuit of sexual pleasure from you. You're awesome.
09/28/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
It was about five years ago and, yeah, we didn't really know what we were doing at the time so that would likely be the reason. We tried graduating up to actual anal sex via plugs and used what seemed like gallons of lube, but I'm sure there ... more
Sometimes (as in my case) the only thing you're "missing" is not being relaxed. It's not that you were uneducated, or doing it "flat out wrong", but it's hard to tell sometimes that your sphincter muscles aren't relaxed. Only a lot of time and experience can teach you that. When I first started experimenting with anal, I thought I was relaxed. In retrospect, I can see that I was probably more tense than I realized, and this made things difficult for me. Also, all bodies are created differently. Sometimes you can do everything "right" and still get a fissure. Life happens, so don't be hard on yourself. I hope you're better now at least.
09/28/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I've never had an anal fissure or any other kind of bleeding/damage from anal sex.
09/28/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I've never had one from anal sex. I am pretty sure I had one as a child due to severe constipation from food allergies.

I haven't had one since I've been having anal sex, which has been a few years. We are very careful, I say No if I don't feel relaxed or comfortable enough. I usually need to have an orgasm or three before being relaxed enough for anal sex, although I enjoy anal play before and certainly during an orgasm.

Mild fissures usually heal with rest stool softeners, hemorrhoid ointments, soaking in warm water and Epsom salts and a good diet.
09/28/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
(Trigger warning.)

I have had an anal fissure as a result of "anal play"---but it was nonconsensual, I was terrified and my body was tensed up. (It's impossible to relax your muscles when you are in that situation.)

So, it ... more
You're an absolutely amazing person, Antipova. Not many could have that severe a bad experience and still be strong enough to come back to something and enjoy it for what it is and all it can be with someone who genuinely cares about you. I send love and hugs to you too (and to anyone else who could use you as a positive example)!
09/28/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
I've had one before too and not from anal play. It didn't really hurt me but it scared the shit out of me! I was going pee and when I wiped and stood up I saw HUGE amounts of blood in the toilet. I flipped out because I knew it wasn't from a period. It had to be at least a cup of blood, some of it fresh and some of it not. I immediately called my dad (a medic) and then went to the hospital. I was relieved that it was simple to get rid of (though there's an embarrassing story to go with that too lol).
09/28/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
i've gotten what feel like little tears back there several times. they hurt quite a bit but only at the time of the tearing and when i go to the bathroom. i have a sizeable pain tolerance so its never a big deal. they heal within about 1 to 2 days.

they're always from anal sex. we use plenty of lube, and do go slow, but sometimes it happens. its not that big a deal.
09/28/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I'm not sure if you call this a fissure but I did tear during my second anal experience. The first time this didn't happen. The guy was very well endowed and we went slow, were lubricated and it didn't hurt during. But afterward I started bleeding horribly. It took weeks to fully heal and it was incredibly painful for a long time.

Unlike Antipova, I hadn't had enough good experience with anal before that incident to be willing to risk trying it again. My doctor told me that the back door isn't as stretchy and is more fragile than the vagina. He advised me not to try it again. I'm happy to comply with doctors orders.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I'm not sure if you call this a fissure but I did tear during my second anal experience. The first time this didn't happen. The guy was very well endowed and we went slow, were lubricated and it didn't hurt during. But afterward I started ... more
I was also told by my doctor that the anus is not as elastic as the vagina, and that it is also far more susceptible to tearing. The anus can certainly be "trained" to relax, stretch and accommodate, but those sphincter muscles are quite powerful. They can make entry very difficult, especially if you've had a bad experience in the past. I know that for myself, I stick to about an inch in diameter at the most, usually. More than that and my body begins to resist, and there's the muscle memory of the pain, which causes spasming/resistance.

I definitely believe that anal is one of those things that a person has to really, really want in order for it to work. I also believe it isn't for everyone. I really enjoy anal, and wish so badly that I could engage in anal sex (because I love the way anal stimulation can hit my G-spot). Unfortunately, my body is just not able to accommodate that kind of motion/size. As it stands, I just enjoy plugs and rimming
09/29/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Thanks Owl and Darling Jen for the encouraging words! It definitely took a lot of mental effort and physical patience---but I pretty much realized I needed to empower myself and not let that experience have a negative effect on who I am and who I wanted to be (and what I liked!)---and I guess I never really stopped to pat myself on the back... I guess I have really gotten past it now. Wow.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I was also told by my doctor that the anus is not as elastic as the vagina, and that it is also far more susceptible to tearing. The anus can certainly be "trained" to relax, stretch and accommodate, but those sphincter muscles are quite ... more
I can't even go that far. I have the beginner pacifier and I can't bring myself to try it. The fear runs deep it seems.
09/29/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
I currently have one, but it's not from anal play. The pain and bleeding have never been all that bad, and it's healed in a week.
09/29/2011
Contributor: kellyg kellyg
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
This is not necessarily true. I got an anal fissure from anal sex, but we went slowly, used lubricant and stopped when it became painful. Unfortunately, a small fissure occurred as a result. Small fissures can happen after something as simple as a ... more
Everything you said I agree with. Same situation for me. It's a horrible thing to deal with, and especially when it reopens, which has happened to me.

You have to watch what you eat, adjust your fiber intake accordingly, but also have to watch what you put in there as well. Both things are important
10/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
If you're getting anal fissures from anal play/sex - you're just flat out doing it wrong.

It can take weeks or months to build up to the ability to accept anal penetration and learning the proper relaxation and lubrication techniques. ... more
Oh, I must've written the poll/description wrong. I was simply just curious. No anal play for me. I don't do anything anal at all, but I don't know that fissures would mean you're doing it wrong. But then again, I don't know anything much about anal sex besides what I read here.
10/07/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
(Trigger warning.)

I have had an anal fissure as a result of "anal play"---but it was nonconsensual, I was terrified and my body was tensed up. (It's impossible to relax your muscles when you are in that situation.)

So, it ... more
Thank you guys so much for your kind and informative responses! I really appreciate your sharing with me. I hate that some of you have had to go through that kind of pain

Antipova, bless your heart! I am terribly sorry. I can relate in a way. I am so grateful that you were kind enough and brave enough to share that. Thank you. Your response was helpful too. I am so glad to hear that you have such an amazing partner to help you through it and also how strong of you to pull through it and still be able to enjoy anal! That is awesome. I hate that you had to endure that, menatlly and physically and it's so good to hear that you're doing so well after all that. It gives me hope! Your kind of story is the kind that give people who've been through similar things hope to see that you can come through it even though it will always be there and more than likely be a painful thing mentally. I'm a slow healer, but it does get better thankfully.
10/07/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I've had one before too and not from anal play. It didn't really hurt me but it scared the shit out of me! I was going pee and when I wiped and stood up I saw HUGE amounts of blood in the toilet. I flipped out because I knew it wasn't ... more
Aw! Bless your heart! That sounds absolutely terrifying! I would have freaked too. Hope your all better now, although I'm sure it's still scary to think about it. Oh, I have a bit of embarrassing OB/GYN and dr. visits and those are just awful! They haunt you for a long time. Lol. Sorry you had to experience that. It sounds super scary.
10/07/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I can't even go that far. I have the beginner pacifier and I can't bring myself to try it. The fear runs deep it seems.


Take your time. Only do it if you really want to. It's not a contest. A bad experience would make anyone not want to try again. Slow and easy, or if you don't want to, not at all.
10/12/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I don't have them but I think my partner had one. She's gotten better now, but having to slowly build herself back up to anal play.
10/12/2011
Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
I've never had anal sex, but I've had hemorrhoids which can cause anal fissures, especially when I was a kid. Hurt like hell even with Preparation H.
10/12/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell


Take your time. Only do it if you really want to. It's not a contest. A bad experience would make anyone not want to try again. Slow and easy, or if you don't want to, not at all.
Ditto to P'Gell. No one has to do it and you're not weird or wrong for not enjoying it. It's on your timing and it's your body. Just love what you do!
10/12/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
During a very unique conversation, I was shown photos of anal fissures and oh my goodness how painful it looks. I was kind of curious about them though. Have any of you ever had them or currently do? If you feel comfortable sharing, I would be happy ... more
i revoke my earlier statement. after getting one this past week and considering the pain during it, i realize my tough act was a farse. it hurts like FUCK! real bad!

but for us it only happens when we dont use lube. sometimes i'm so wet from the sex and/or lube we use vaginally that we just bring it on around to the back end and call it a day... but it never ends well.


so get a good lube and dont be stingy with it! i recommend probe thick n rich.
10/13/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
I've never heard of this before, but like you, I've also never done anal.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
Thats scary as hell. I knew you could get a rip or a hemoroid which i guess is similar but now theres another thing to be worried about. For a while my boyfriend would try to force himself in my ass but I was too tense. It would piss me off because I knew the risks, he doesnt. Now he has gotten into anal and has made me more comfortable, plus drinking a little before sex really helps us relax.
10/16/2011