The New Intimacy

Friend who has issues

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Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
How would you deal with a friend who was sexually repressed?

My one friend is so sexually repressed that is truly sad. She is in her twenties and has had a few sexual partners yet has never truly gotten any pleasure or satisfaction out of those experience. She considered masturbation to not only be gross but also to be cheating. She has admitted that she has never experienced an orgasm.

For the most part she dates lazy selfish assholes who cheat on her at every chance. They also control every aspect of her life, expecting her to hand over her pay checks while they do nothing to help her out.

We would love to help her open up and explore her sexuality but honestly we would be happy if she just opens her eyes and sees the train wreck her life is. Has anyone ever had a friend like this? If so did they eventually wake up and make positive changes to their life to break the cycle of abuse?
04/15/2013
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Contributor: snowminx snowminx
As a friend I don't think there's anything you can do to help her. It's got to be something SHE wants to change or she will just go right back to the cycle again. I would really suggest telling her to consider going to a psychologist. If she keeps on going to these types of men and she doesn't find pleasure from anything there might just be something from her past that is stopping her from find a healthy sexual relationship.
They know the kinds of things to ask to help open her more up and asses the issues she has. There might be things she just can't see even when you point them out to her and she won't understand why it's happening until everything comes together. She has to fix her way of thinking before she can find a healthy relationship or she won't ever find pleasure.
04/15/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
I agree with snowminx, it sucks bad but change comes from within. She has to make up her own mind. You can help by pointing things out, like how she deserves better but in the end its up to her.
04/15/2013
Contributor: Sera26 Sera26
I think that you just have to be around and ready to support her.

You can try talking about your sexuality more casually but it may still bother her. I know someone a bit like this and it just took her time (i.e. years).
04/15/2013
Contributor: marriedlady123 marriedlady123
I think that the sexual repression and the dating assholes are probably two different problems, although you never know.
04/15/2013