A lot of what I had to write was already written by other people. However, I have some personal experience to share.
My self-esteem was absolutely down the tubes when I was growing up. I've been obese since a very early age. Maybe 10-11? I went through school swallowing all the abuse, and it has a huge effect on people, even if we try our best to ignore it and hold our head high. I had boyfriends, and constant relationships with guys. I was a nerd, I didn't hang out with the girls, I hung out with the guys, because they had there interests in the same place as me, and I was always 'one of them' rather than dating material. I grew up in a very broken and abusive home, too.
By the time I met my husband, I was exploring ways to make me me. I had my interests and I knew what I wanted to be as an adult (not career-wise, or family or what-have-you, just personality). He made me feel like I could be me. I found in him a piece reassurance that I had never found anywhere. Then he took it all away. I decided to be a bit of an exhibitionist and create a porn vid for him, because I was going away for an extended period. Eventually, I found out that it made him feel uncomfortable (for very good reasons, mind) and when I found that out, I was completely crushed. I felt as though my soul had been shattered. However, I love him so much that I wanted to work through my own issues, after we discussed that his feeling of uncomfortable was just him feeling sad about my being away, and so it made it hard to be aroused by the sight of me.
How did I work through my issues? I created a profile on a social networking site built for pornography. I created an XTube account, and became a porn star. I have a thousand subscribers, and tons more video views then that. I have constant conversations with both men and women of the XTube community about how much the appreciate my 'contributions'... and thousands of offers to hook up.
I'm a BBW, but I hate masking the word fat with other, more politically correct terms. Fuck it. I love the word fat. We should cherrish the word, and stop the world from using it negatively. I cherrish my body now, and it took three years to work on that, but I do. I found over time that I have a personal preference for people who are fat. My husband is fat, he was before I met him. He loves all my soft, lush flesh, and snuggles it with his face, and massages it while we have sex. I love his fat, and grab it and rub it, and it makes me feel so raunchy!
I dress nicely when we go out. Some cleavage, well fitting shirts, ass-flattering jeans, I take a LOT of pride in my hair, my tattoos, and my piercings. I carry myself with courage and enthusiasm, and I always walk with a wiggle of the hips. I smile, and flirt, and I'm friendly, and outgoing. You know what? People like me. I see men checking me out all the time. In a good way, not in a morbid curiosity way.
Do a Google image search for 'fertility statue'. Obesity has been a symbol of pride and good things to come for ages. They had the right idea. I look at some of the popular women in the porn industry (because that's where my business is at the moment) and I feel absolutely disgusted by the skeletons. I see ribcage, or boney knees and elbows and it completely turns me off. Big round bellies, beautiful faces, fleshy thighs, now those are beautiful.
I think a lot of people are brainwashed by the media into believing that thin is a good thing. They bring up the health risks of being obese, and all these numbers explaining why it's wrong, but you know what? I'm really healthy. I have beautiful skin! Shining, radiant skin, and I've NEVER worn a single drop of makeup in my entire life. I use Curel to moisturize, that's it. I have really healthy hair, despite the fact that it's heat styled and chemically treated. I have a really healthy diet, filled with all of nature's bounty. I'm a practicing Wiccan, so eating for the season is one of the ways I love to celebrate. I never get the colds that go around to our friends. I can't remember the last time I was actually ill. My periods are spot-on every month. I'm happy in my skin, and I don't feel like my obesity is hurting me at all. I love my fat and I hug it and grope it every night.
....and I have a following of people... who wait patiently for my next video release, penis in hand, refreshing my pages. Do you know how that makes me feel? Like a sexual goddess!
I'm fat, and I love being me.
Be adipositive. You deserve it.
