So one of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend last week. They had been dating for three years and when he entered the navy he started cheating on her with another girl. She had no idea about the whole thing until about a week ago. Anyways last saturday he invited the "mistress" to meet my friend like they were casual friends. But later that night she found out he was sleeping with the other girl, and my friend dumped him immediately. She thinks that her and her boyfriend were really in love and even though she hates him right now I'm afraid she might try and get back together with him?? Would you forgive this guy? Because honestly I think if he loved her he wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
Cheating - would you forgive them?
05/24/2012
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I wouldn't be able to forgive but there is nothing you can do its your friend's decision to make
05/24/2012
To be honest, it would hurt but I don't care so much about if my partner slept with someone else one time...where I'd have the problem is if it continued or my partner tried to hide it from me consistently. For me, that form of disrespect would end everything, but a slip up with some sincere remorse...I could manage that.
05/24/2012
I'm a little confused about the story but I think I get the idea. I think if it's an ongoing thing I couldn't forgive. If it was a drunken one-night mistake, I probably could.
05/24/2012
Women have done this to me, and it is unforgivable. The fastest way to lose me would be to cheat on me. When I met my wife, I had a lot of trust issues because I somehow kept ending up dating slutty girls, and it took me a long time to trust her to even have guy friends. But she proved to me that some women can be faithful. But she also knows that if she ever wanted to hurt me, that would be the 1 thing to hurt me the most, and something she'd never hear from me again after because of. I couldn't deal with that.
05/24/2012
it really depends how many times- how long they were together, how long he cheated and whether or not his heart cheated or just his groin
05/24/2012
Quote:
there are no second chance
Originally posted by
sweetpea12
So one of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend last week. They had been dating for three years and when he entered the navy he started cheating on her with another girl. She had no idea about the whole thing until about a week ago. Anyways
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more
So one of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend last week. They had been dating for three years and when he entered the navy he started cheating on her with another girl. She had no idea about the whole thing until about a week ago. Anyways last saturday he invited the "mistress" to meet my friend like they were casual friends. But later that night she found out he was sleeping with the other girl, and my friend dumped him immediately. She thinks that her and her boyfriend were really in love and even though she hates him right now I'm afraid she might try and get back together with him?? Would you forgive this guy? Because honestly I think if he loved her he wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
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05/24/2012
I would not be willing to give a second chance if someone cheated on me.
05/25/2012
If he was upfront about it and seemed sincere, I'd try to forgive him. Things happen, people make mistakes.
What annoys me most about that scenario is that he introduced the other woman to your friend in that way, without her knowing about what was going on.
What annoys me most about that scenario is that he introduced the other woman to your friend in that way, without her knowing about what was going on.
05/25/2012
That would be a deal breaker and unforgivable for any future relationship between us!!! He would be lucky not to end up at the bottom of a lake with a bullet in him, actually. Maybe not, but I would definitely run my guns to the pawn shop ASAP!!
Not only did that guy cheat, but he rubbed her nose in it by bringing the other woman around as a 'friend'. Well, with a 'friend' like that, who needs enemies????
Your friend is the only person who can say she is through and has had enough. Some people have higher tolerances for forgiveness and neediness in a relationship than others. Just be there and do not judge her decisions. She will need you!!
Not only did that guy cheat, but he rubbed her nose in it by bringing the other woman around as a 'friend'. Well, with a 'friend' like that, who needs enemies????
Your friend is the only person who can say she is through and has had enough. Some people have higher tolerances for forgiveness and neediness in a relationship than others. Just be there and do not judge her decisions. She will need you!!
05/25/2012
Since they're not married, I don't see any reason for forgiveness.
05/25/2012
I would forgive them, but there are too many fish in the sea to be with one that isn't going to be faithful to you. So I'd go my own way after that.
05/25/2012
I wouldn't forgive his sorryass! Tell your friend to move on.
05/25/2012
Quote:
FYI Slut is a compliment 'round these here parts. Just sayin'.
Originally posted by
Poophammer
Women have done this to me, and it is unforgivable. The fastest way to lose me would be to cheat on me. When I met my wife, I had a lot of trust issues because I somehow kept ending up dating slutty girls, and it took me a long time to trust her to
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more
Women have done this to me, and it is unforgivable. The fastest way to lose me would be to cheat on me. When I met my wife, I had a lot of trust issues because I somehow kept ending up dating slutty girls, and it took me a long time to trust her to even have guy friends. But she proved to me that some women can be faithful. But she also knows that if she ever wanted to hurt me, that would be the 1 thing to hurt me the most, and something she'd never hear from me again after because of. I couldn't deal with that.
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05/25/2012
Dude is totally shady and was probably eventually going to work a threesome angle. Unfortunate. If he had just talked to her in the beginning things may have turned out differently.
My advice? If she is considering getting back with him, that's her business. It should be made very clear that she needs to have some heavy-hitting discussions about this and determine WHY he strayed and then either work past it or throw in the towel.
My advice? If she is considering getting back with him, that's her business. It should be made very clear that she needs to have some heavy-hitting discussions about this and determine WHY he strayed and then either work past it or throw in the towel.
05/25/2012
I used to say I would have kicked his ass to the curb and not looked back, but it is very hard to imagine what your reaction will be until you are actually faced with this, it's so much more complicated than just that, especially in long term relationships. As someone who's been through it, the best thing you can do for your friend is be there as a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to listen and not judge. Let her make the decision on what to do next on her own and offer your support. She may forgive, she may not, but whatever she does it has got to be what she wants to do and what she feels like she will be able to live with. Forgiving can be incredibly therapeutic.
05/25/2012
I honestly don't know. I have had boyfriends in my past that cheated on me and we have broke up. If my husband cheated on me, I really don't know. I love him so much that I can't guarantee that I would leave him. I could stay but it would take a long time to trust again, or I could just leave. I just hope I'm never put in that predictiment. All you can do is stand by her and be there for her while she is going through this.
05/25/2012
I've had this happen to me with my ex, and when it comes to cheating, I give no second chances. He was also the one to dump me after cheating on me, saying he found someone better. (Then proceeded to say if it didn't work with her, we could try again--essentially keeping me around as a 'backup.')
To me, cheating is the coward's way out instead of working at getting to the heart of the matter. Either you work on issues or break off the relationship, but don't seek what you're missing from someone else.
My final answer is: if you cheat on me, get out. I will never ask for you back.
To me, cheating is the coward's way out instead of working at getting to the heart of the matter. Either you work on issues or break off the relationship, but don't seek what you're missing from someone else.
My final answer is: if you cheat on me, get out. I will never ask for you back.
05/25/2012
it would be over
05/25/2012
I definitely wouldn't forgive him. She did the right thing in breaking up with him on the spot once she found out. Personally, I will never give my partner a second chance if they cheat on me. It's over if I catch them, especially in the act of things! My current boyfriend is a love and he's been cheated on before (by his ex-girlfriend sleeping with his best friend) so I feel comfortable knowing he won't put me through a hardship like he went through. I really hope she doesn't take him back.
05/25/2012
It was a long term affair, which implies that he might have future issues with loyalty. I'd be more inclined to forgive a tiny mistake, since people can do quite a few silly things on impulse. The fact that he brought the mistress over as a friend was a bit over the top
05/26/2012
No doubt, you can and probably will still be in love with someone who's cheated on you for a long time after it happens (whether or not you leave them) however, the trust will never be what it was. I don't think that anyone who takes another person's heart for granted that way can ever be trusted again. In time, by all means, she may forgive him, but I don't think she should ever fool herself into believing that they are capable of a truly healthy relationship after something like that.
06/12/2012
No way. That's going too far. He doesn't respect her. Nothing good can come of a relationship once the respect is gone.
06/12/2012
In this case, if I were your friend, I would have a hard time forgiving, might want to break up and stay that way. At the same time, I would consider how long distance relationships are harder for some people and hearts can change. That guy may have still cared for your friend somewhat. It isn't impossible. But it isn't a good situation.
Infidelity quickly makes people jump and pass judgments, but it is sometimes complicated. Not all situations are the same.
From the stories I know, in most situations, getting back together is not a good idea. At least not quickly. A bit of time needs to pass to cool down, for everyone to figure out what they really want and what is best for them.
I agree with someone above--be supportive but be careful of your words. I know people who have been through bad relationship situations and it is hard to keep balanced advice when you care.
Infidelity quickly makes people jump and pass judgments, but it is sometimes complicated. Not all situations are the same.
From the stories I know, in most situations, getting back together is not a good idea. At least not quickly. A bit of time needs to pass to cool down, for everyone to figure out what they really want and what is best for them.
I agree with someone above--be supportive but be careful of your words. I know people who have been through bad relationship situations and it is hard to keep balanced advice when you care.
06/12/2012
I couldn't do it...but that's my personal choice.
06/12/2012
I couldn't forgive anyone that cheated on me.
06/12/2012
Wouldn't forgive.
06/12/2012
Wouldn't forgive.
06/13/2012
Cheating in a monogamous or polyfaithful relationship to me is an absolute dealbreaker.
06/13/2012
I think it would depend on how long he had been cheating, how many people he had been with, and if he had done it more then once. So in this case I would not forgive. But if my husband did it once. I'd probably forgive him. Especially if he just out right told me and didn't hide it from me.
06/13/2012
Total posts: 30
Unique posters: 29