The New Intimacy

STD Tests: Is "I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours" ok?

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Contributor: SeductivelyCute SeductivelyCute
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I think it would be a good idea, but to me it's less about commitment and more about just being smart and protecting yourself. I don't know that you'd have to go together, but just make sure both people are aware of their status.
I agree.
03/13/2012
Contributor: SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Absolutely! Not even to show commitment, but just good health. If I enter a relationship, I want to know my partner's status so we can stay safe. If someone breaks up with you for wanting to make sure you're both in good sexual health, fuck 'em.
03/14/2012
Contributor: corsetsaurus rex corsetsaurus rex
No test, no sex, end of story. Then again everyone I end up with is well aware I'm a raving paranoid and sees this ultimatum coming from a mile away, so I've never had any issues with it. =P
03/20/2012
Contributor: dragonn dragonn
Quote:
Originally posted by HannahPanda
It's a good thing to enter a relationship with.
agreed! i went to a small college and getting checked was a huge deal - at least for me and a few friends. my boyfriend and i both got checked and the comfort in knowing we were safe was great.
03/26/2012
Contributor: NurseKitty NurseKitty
I still get tested annually and have been married for a dozen years. I think it's just smart, there are million ways to pick things up and I'm working with many people who carry diseases. It's better to be safe. I think she realized this guy was going now where fast
04/12/2012
Contributor: jmex83 jmex83
Quote:
Originally posted by NurseKitty
I have a friend from South Africa who moved here to the US, she met a boy and they started getting serious. She asked him to go with her and get tested for STD's, he freaked out and ultimately ended the relationship due to "her lack of ... more
Sounds like to me that he had one and didn't want her to find out lol
04/15/2012
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by NurseKitty
I have a friend from South Africa who moved here to the US, she met a boy and they started getting serious. She asked him to go with her and get tested for STD's, he freaked out and ultimately ended the relationship due to "her lack of ... more
Yes you should share that information with your partner. When people don't tell their partner they have an STD they are being really selfish
06/10/2012
Contributor: pasdechat pasdechat
It's not a subject I enjoy bringing up, but I've never had a guy refuse to get tested when I've mentioned it. I also don't really see it as a question of trust--although I suppose I worry that it will be taken that way. It's just that it's possible he could have an STD and not know it...
06/10/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
It's entirely reasonable, especially given her background
06/11/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
And the winner of the Overreaction Award of the Year goes to her ex-boyfriend. If someone refused to get tested or to show me their results, they would be on the other end of the refusal. My life is way too important than their issues over "not ... more
Yep. This is just good to know, and good for her for being safe. Screw him for leaving, it's not a matter of a lack of trust, it's about protecting yourself. That is a mistake that would not be worth it.
06/11/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
That's always been my policy for new partners, I don't think it's reasonable to ask a partner to "just trust me" on a subject like that when the answer can have such long-reaching effects on their health. Plus I used to volunteer at a health clinic, so getting tested is not particularly awkward or new for me - there's no good reason why I wouldn't get tested with a new partner.
07/06/2012
Contributor: quantumspork quantumspork
I'd hate to pass on an STD I didn't know I had to a partner. For female-assigned people especially a lot of them can go symptomless for months or even years. Most are totally treatable, it shouldn't be that big a deal. I'd much rather be certain of both my status and my partners'.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Danneh Danneh
I wish it were normal to do that. To get STD tested together.
07/16/2012
Contributor: JennSenn JennSenn
I think it's a red flag that he freaked out. Like he's hiding something. I think it's good to do, but I'm not sure I'd say it was of showing you're committed, more that you are concerned and want to be as safe as possible for yourself and your partner.
07/16/2012
Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
I think it is a good thing to do. Especially not all STIs actually require the sex and the fact that many are asymptomatic. I think it is just good to start knowing you are both clean (or one of you has X)
07/22/2012
Contributor: Nacht Stern Nacht Stern
I get tested every year because of my job (you never know whats in someones blood).
I would feel safer knowing what a partner has or has not.
07/25/2012
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Seems like he was hiding something
07/25/2012
Contributor: squire squire
Before my current relationship, I wouldn't have sex with someone unless we both got tested. It wasn't awkward, just matter of fact..Yes I ended up waiting longer to have sex each time, but never was turned down by a partner and have never had an STD..so was worth it.
08/06/2012
Contributor: Bittenflame Bittenflame
I mademy partner get tested before we did anything
08/06/2012
Contributor: Rory Rory
No one should consider it a "lack of trust" when they are asked to go for a STD test. If he was insulted maybe he already knew the results.
08/09/2012
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
If the potential partner refuses to get tested then you have no business being with them. Who knows what they may be hiding.
08/09/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Well, I live in the US and I've been doing that since I became sexually active. No one has ever had any issue with it or complained and some even seemed relieved that I was the one to bring it up...
08/09/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
There's nothing wrong with requesting someone to get tested or to look at the test.
08/10/2012
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
I think it's a great thing to do, and demonstrates trust.
10/03/2012
Contributor: smasmasma smasmasma
If more people would test before having sex the world would be a better place!
10/14/2012
Contributor: Aftertherain13 Aftertherain13
I don't trust anyone enough with my life to even give them a sliver of a chance to infect me with a disease that I may NEVER get rid of! Get them tested!
10/14/2012
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
That dude is a moron. He probably had a bunch of STDS and was going around lying about it. ><
12/12/2012
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
Wow, yeah. He really over-reacted. I don't see any lack of trust there whatsoever, especially since she was going to get tested too. I've asked my partners to get tested before.
12/12/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
If someone I knew were to freak out over something like that, it would make me highly suspicious of them. I wouldn't expect anyone to assume that I am clean, even if it's true - it's foolish to take someone at their word over something like this.
12/13/2012
Contributor: chicmichiw chicmichiw
Wow. 100% on this poll makes me feel better about people.
12/13/2012