My husband is subtly dominant. He's not one to naturally be more rough, but if I say "I love having you control me" or "I love feeling you hold me down" he'll get into it. Try talking dirty with it. I have said "I love when you control my pussy, I love you to make it yours by pounding me with your hands" stuff like that. The dirtier and kinkier the talk the more he gets into it.

If I want him to hold me down I'll make thing harder for him..like if he is going down on me and I want him to hold me down but I don't want to ASK him to do it I'll purposely let my legs close while he's doing it. He'll then open them wider but if I let them close again he'll start holding them apart and down, which I then respond to with obvious moans of pleasure. He then knows that's what I want and the rest of the session is kinkier. This works for us because he knows my signals..I suppose the closing of the legs could also make someone think you didn't want the oral..but my husband "gets" what it means.

Spanking might be something that's easier for him to get into. I have yet to introduce a slapper but I really do want to. Or a whip. The thought of that turns me on but I think it might make him feel awkward. We just use hands right now and it REALLY turns me on when he slaps my ass and that's one thing that he really likes too and will do a lot without me even hinting or asking for it. But, if yours doesn't do it on his own you could try saying how much you want him to do it in a sexy voice. From my experience a guy isn't going to turn down a sexy request from their partner! less

I mean...couldn't you just ask him directly instead of thinking of covert ways to "encourage" him? Why not just ask him if he'd be interested in experimenting with a scene, some kind of roleplay narrative? Or if he'd like to try using a flogger? I've always approached all of my partners incredibly openly about kink, and usually my comfort with the subject and honesty has been enough encouragement to allow them to talk about their own fantasies and preferences. less

I could and probably will talk to him about a particular scene I would like to do but I am reluctant to ask him. If I do talk to him about it it won't be during sex but before while having coffee, etc.

When I have talked to him about things I would like to try he listens but doesn't really share his thoughts on it. I try to ask him what he thinks what he likes and it's usually very vague. He sort of gets distant or talks about threesomes. I'm afraid he will not take me seriously and he'll just put it in a file in the back of his mind as something I would like to try and won't act on it.

I have shown him some BDSM porn that really turns me on and he didn't look at me weird for liking it so I guess in a way he shouldn't be too surprised by my desires.

I don't want to manipulate him into doing something but at the same time he's knows me pretty well already and what I like to sort of push the envelope. Just like today, he tried something new (slapping my breasts) I told him as he did it that I liked it, that he could slap my bum and thighs also. We were communicating the whole time. less

Yea, I think I know how he is..probably similar to my husband. He loves sex, and is open to almost anything (at least once or twice to try it!) but he doesn't really like to talk about it. He's kind of the type that wants to just do it and not talk about it. But, really I don't want to spend the whole time during sex talking about it or saying "do this, now do this". Also, if I do that during sex he starts to feel like he's not making me feel good with what he's doing, which is sooo not the case. But I guess he's kind of a natural dominant and I'm more a submissive even though we don't often act out the roles per say. But it's still clear in other ways that he's the dominant one in bed so he feels awkward if I try to take over or am too bossy..and honestly I do too because that is sooo not what I want! So, it's better for us to talk about it before hand too, or after. During the actual act it's best for us if I just give light suggestions or hints if I want to try new things. I don't know, it works for us! less

Alright, here's my issue!

I would love my man to get into the more kinky side of sex. We have a great beginners kit for bondage. However, its not his thing. I try to encourage him to be more assertive to be less gentle and be creative with the straps. He can get quite verbal in a dominating way but he never gets physically dominant enough to my liking.

I'm thinking maybe getting a slapper or flogger might make him realize that I mean business.

How was your transition into the kinkier side of sex? How did it work for you? Do any of you have any recommendations? less

I could and probably will talk to him about a particular scene I would like to do but I am reluctant to ask him. If I do talk to him about it it won't be during sex but before while having coffee, etc.

When I have talked to him about things I would like to try he listens but doesn't really share his thoughts on it. I try to ask him what he thinks what he likes and it's usually very vague. He sort of gets distant or talks about threesomes. I'm afraid he will not take me seriously and he'll just put it in a file in the back of his mind as something I would like to try and won't act on it.

I have shown him some BDSM porn that really turns me on and he didn't look at me weird for liking it so I guess in a way he shouldn't be too surprised by my desires.

I don't want to manipulate him into doing something but at the same time he's knows me pretty well already and what I like to sort of push the envelope. Just like today, he tried something new (slapping my breasts) I told him as he did it that I liked it, that he could slap my bum and thighs also. We were communicating the whole time. less

My husband is subtly dominant. He's not one to naturally be more rough, but if I say "I love having you control me" or "I love feeling you hold me down" he'll get into it. Try talking dirty with it. I have said "I love when you control my pussy, I love you to make it yours by pounding me with your hands" stuff like that. The dirtier and kinkier the talk the more he gets into it.

If I want him to hold me down I'll make thing harder for him..like if he is going down on me and I want him to hold me down but I don't want to ASK him to do it I'll purposely let my legs close while he's doing it. He'll then open them wider but if I let them close again he'll start holding them apart and down, which I then respond to with obvious moans of pleasure. He then knows that's what I want and the rest of the session is kinkier. This works for us because he knows my signals..I suppose the closing of the legs could also make someone think you didn't want the oral..but my husband "gets" what it means.

Spanking might be something that's easier for him to get into. I have yet to introduce a slapper but I really do want to. Or a whip. The thought of that turns me on but I think it might make him feel awkward. We just use hands right now and it REALLY turns me on when he slaps my ass and that's one thing that he really likes too and will do a lot without me even hinting or asking for it. But, if yours doesn't do it on his own you could try saying how much you want him to do it in a sexy voice. From my experience a guy isn't going to turn down a sexy request from their partner! less