Is sex drive the most important compatibility issue when choosing a partner?

Contributor: Inappropriate Inappropriate
I know it might not seem like a big deal but it often is..
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
5  (11%)
No
29  (63%)
It's Complicated
12  (26%)
Total votes: 46
Poll is closed
04/11/2012
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Contributor: js250 js250
It is a component of a relationship, but it is not the most important one for me. I choose compatibility, friendship, kindness and humor first.
04/11/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by Inappropriate
I know it might not seem like a big deal but it often is..
It's a very important part of compatibility. I think it matters more than most people are willing to admit.
04/11/2012
Contributor: pootpootpoot pootpootpoot
It's definitely important, but kinks and fetishes are more important to me personally. I wouldn't want to have a partner who had a kink I wasn't willing to satisfy, I'd feel terrible!
04/11/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
No - my wife's sex drive has always been lower than mine - but we've made it 22+ years and things continue to get better. Don't get me wrong - it is important. We've both been willing to compromise and that has worked for us.
04/12/2012
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
I think it's important, but not the most important. From experiences with past relationships, sex drives might change because of stress and other things.
04/12/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Inappropriate
I know it might not seem like a big deal but it often is..
No. There are other far more important things than sex, but it's wonderful when you're blessed enough to have a fabulous partner that also fits your bedrooom needs!
04/12/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Well ... let's just say that after ten years in a celibate marriage ... it's kinda important to me. I can honestly say it's not in the Top Three, but it takes precedent over such things as "writing partner" and "being able to cook".
04/15/2012
Contributor: Melan!e Melan!e
It's important. No doubt about that but I don't think it's THE MOST important thing.

After having switched birth control pills several times, many of which affected my sex drive (both increasing and decreasing it), my boyfriend and I struggled a little at times but we still made it work.
04/15/2012
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Important yes , very important and more then most probably think? yes. The MOST importantly, no, not by a long shot.
04/15/2012
Contributor: Azule Azule
It's definitely something I would consider but in all honestly it does for short a number of other more important qualities.
04/16/2012
Contributor: yeoshua yeoshua
BUT...think about this...at the beginning of a relationship if you realized that there would never be a fufilling sexual relationship, how many would push forward? I agree, when you are already into a satisfying emotional, loving relationship that sex isn't the be all and end all, but at the start of a relationship how many of us would give up a satisfying relationship? I don't mean the earth needs to move but just "satisfy".
04/16/2012
Contributor: yeoshua yeoshua
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Well ... let's just say that after ten years in a celibate marriage ... it's kinda important to me. I can honestly say it's not in the Top Three, but it takes precedent over such things as "writing partner" and "being able to cook".
Chilipepper--

What is a "writing partner"?

Thanks.
04/16/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by yeoshua
Chilipepper--

What is a "writing partner"?

Thanks.
It's one of my own priorities ... I'm a fiction writer, and I really have the best time writing when I'm working with another person. It's how I met my ex-husband and it was the biggest factor in my decision to marry him (that, and not wanting to be alone). My ex-husband and I did our best work together (original and fanfic - depending on your fandom and age, you may have heard of us), and I haven't had the same connection since we separated and divorced.

Still, there's only so much of lying in bed and plotting stories into the wee hours before the frustration of not doing anything else in bed gets to you. Master doesn't write fiction, though, but I'm okay with that. At least he has a sex drive.
04/16/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I think it's one of the most important things in a relationship, but other things are also very important. Having similar values (that's a loaded word!) being on the same page about whether you will have kids, when and how many and how you'll raise them, enjoying some of the same activities etc.

I'd say sex is in the top three most important things in a relationship. Your sex drives don't have to be 100% the same, obviously, but they should be close, or there is going to be a lot of resentment. Resentment is one of the worst poisons for a relationship.
04/16/2012
Contributor: Incendiaire Incendiaire
I think if I was with someone who wanted to do it every five minutes, it would really get on my nerves, and spell the end of the relationship.
04/17/2012
Contributor: Bex1331 Bex1331
Me and my bf have very different drive (mine being much higher than his) but we make it work, although it does lead to a bit of resentment and is probably one of the bigger strains on our relationship.
04/17/2012
Contributor: Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I think it's one of the most important things in a relationship, but other things are also very important. Having similar values (that's a loaded word!) being on the same page about whether you will have kids, when and how many and how ... more
This exactly!
04/18/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Not at all!!!!
04/21/2012
Contributor: BabyCheeks BabyCheeks
It depends on the two people I think...
04/21/2012
Contributor: sexykiss sexykiss
i think it depends on the people
07/09/2012
Contributor: Cora Jane Cora Jane
To me it's extremely important. Maybe not the single most important thing, but it's definitely at the top.
07/09/2012
Contributor: xOhxSoxScandalousx xOhxSoxScandalousx
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
It is a component of a relationship, but it is not the most important one for me. I choose compatibility, friendship, kindness and humor first.
I second this exactly!
07/09/2012
Contributor: Bittenflame Bittenflame
It's a component, but I feel like just their companionship will do you. This is why we have eden has masturbators and vibes lol
07/11/2012
Contributor: Heatherbipoly Heatherbipoly
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
It is a component of a relationship, but it is not the most important one for me. I choose compatibility, friendship, kindness and humor first.
me too
07/13/2012
Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
I do not think there can be a one most important component. I think it can be very important. Sexual frustration sucks, but love, compassion, similar interests, and other things are important too. I do think it is fair to break up over different sex drives though.
07/16/2012
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
No not really
07/17/2012
Contributor: Anne Anne
I could care less... unless he's really not sexually driven.
07/17/2012