The New Intimacy

How important is SEX to MEN in a comitted relationship?

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Contributor: teachmetouchme teachmetouchme
It has been my experience, and that of my female friends, that the #1 concern for men is SEX from the women they are in a long term, committed relationship. If a man does not get sex when he wants it, or feels he "needs" it,he becomes irritable and fights usually ensue. Do men feel it is their absolute need and/or right to have sex? I do not see how sex as an act of love is sincere if as soon as a man wants sex and he isn't satisfied with the outcome, he will always takec business into his own hands. Please try to explain to me how the sex between 2 people is an act of love if masturbation is a viable substitueion? Certainly there is no love if you say you want me but the first moment you can masturbate, you are more than happy to accommodate yourself?

Just my thoughts and I am sinceely trying and trying understand where I fit into a sexual relationship with a man so I don't feel that my most important funtion is to satisfy this own desires.

Thank you and I will appreciate responses from men only. I am not interested in women speaking for themself or for their men.

THANK YOU WONDERFUL MEN--particularly those of you over 50!
03/05/2012
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Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
At 57+ I fit the criteria - so here goes my take.

Sex is very important in a mutual loving relationship. It's been pretty well proven that it's important for the physical and mental health of BOTH men and women. My wife had a hard time understanding this for a long time. Then she heard all her friends complain that their husbands had lost interest (most of them got tired of begging) - and the light when on for her. She finally realized how good she has it.

From that point on she began a more positive relationship with her own sexuality and learned to enjoy all the physical and emotional benefits that come from the release of endorphins, oxytocin and the added closeness an intimacy that she craved.

It really is a win-win and those men and women that allow sex to become a power-struggle are doing great harm to themselves and their partner. Withholding sex for any reason other than physical infirmity is detrimental.

I have no idea why a 23 year-old would be concerned about what a bunch of old men think - but you asked and I hope my perspective is helpful.
03/06/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Because you are selectively excluding the opinion of women on the matter, you're more than likely going to miss out on an insight that can help you achieve the level of peace you're searching for. But, since you don't want my opinion, I will respect your wishes and not give it to you.
03/06/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
why wouldn't you wnat answers from women speaking for their men. We know what their habits are and how they equate sex in a marriage/relationship?
03/06/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I also feel odd that you don't want to hear from the very women who have sex with these men. My husband is older than I am and is over 50, and I think I have some insight, having been with him since I was a teenager. But, if you don't want our opinions....

Of course, he doesn't always want sex when I want it, and then I often take it into my own hands, as well. As does he at times.

OK, I'll shut up....

03/06/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I think sex in a relationship is an important aspect. Not having a sexual relationship, after it's started, is like having a relationship without speaking or sharing.

I see a relationship without sex as a relationship in trouble. I'd wonder why the sex stopped to begin with.
03/06/2012
Contributor: married with children married with children
sex is a very important part of a healthy relationship. So is communication, and the emotional aspect of the relationship.
03/08/2012
Contributor: michael scofield michael scofield
very important. she must give me sex and please me when i want and must obey my commands
04/23/2012
Contributor: Bobber Bobber
Quote:
Originally posted by teachmetouchme
It has been my experience, and that of my female friends, that the #1 concern for men is SEX from the women they are in a long term, committed relationship. If a man does not get sex when he wants it, or feels he "needs" it,he becomes ... more
I certainly fit the criteria, age 61, and would say that sex is extremely important to me.
I had a terrible first marriage, sex was almost non-existent and eventually divorced.
While sex is not the most important thing in a committed relationship, if it is absent, expect problems. A good sex life is part of the emotional bond that connects couples, the emotions that you feel cannot be replaced with a good meal or clean house. There are a lot of men that seem to have a it's a wife's "duty" to please her husband, I do not personally adhere to that, but why would a wife NOT want to enjoy lovemaking with her spouse, and also get some pleasure for herself?
So in a word or two...YES sex is VERY crucial to men.
05/15/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
I'm a woman, but I can say that sex isn't important to EVERY man. Just like it isn't important to every woman. Personally, my sex drive is through the roof and my man's (who is 38) is almost non-existent. Sex is a huge issue in our relationship because it is so important to me. Like gunsmoke said, there are so many emotional and physiological benefits to sex and a very integral part of a relationship for many people. If you are feeling insecure because you are with a 50+ year old man, or someone you know is, only you (or that other person) can know if the relationship is purely based on sex or if sex is just a very big part of who that person is.

I'm a sexual person. Period. But not everyone is.
05/15/2013