Would you have a relationship

Contributor: spineyogurt spineyogurt
with someone in a wheelchair? Why not if no
12/05/2012
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Contributor: LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
This is a ridiculous question to me. If they were awesome, why not?! That would be an unfair and mean reason not to want someone.
12/05/2012
Contributor: shorejen9 shorejen9
Wouldn't make a difference to me.
12/05/2012
Contributor: BeepBop BeepBop
Quote:
Originally posted by LoooveMonkey
This is a ridiculous question to me. If they were awesome, why not?! That would be an unfair and mean reason not to want someone.
Seconded.
12/05/2012
Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
I would
12/05/2012
Contributor: Amber1319 Amber1319
I would as long as they wouldn't expect to be treated differently, as in making you do everything for them.
12/05/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
I don't know. And I mean that without intending to be "mean" or "unfair." I lead a physical lifestyle and I'd like to share it with someone. If I couldn't go hiking with them or do the outdoorsy stuff that I like doing, that would be hard for me. Also, if things got serious and we might get married at some point, there's a good chance that that person is going to be more dependent upon me as the years go by, and maybe I'm not prepared to live my life that way.

The challenges that relationships can face over physical ailments are not usually because one person is being mean or selfish...or at least, not selfish in a rotten sense. It's because it's hard to live certain lifestyles for the sake of someone else, when perhaps you would like to live some way else that they can't live by, through no fault of their own. Anybody who has raised a kid with special needs or a disability, or grew up with a sibling or family member like that, understands this; sometimes, you get upset and resentful over the fact that you have to take care of someone. It can be frustrating. A lot of times, it can be rewarding or it can be a status quo that you're content with. But those relationships have their moments, because it's hard. It doesn't mean that you don't love them; it just means that you don't love the situation, and perhaps you wish it could be different, so you can be selfish once in a while.

I am selfish about some things, and I think I'm entitled to it, because I want to be happy. And if I had to compromise my happiness to accommodate someone else, whatever the reason, I would have to pause and ask myself if it's really worth it. Everyone is entitled to some selfishness sometimes, and I have a hard time seeing myself in a relationship with someone who is wheelchair bound; not because I'm a bitch, and not because I look down upon people who have to live dependent upon a wheelchair, but because I want a certain lifestyle, and I know that I need it to be happy. I want to share that lifestyle with my partner, and I'm not worth being in a relationship with anyway, if I'm not happy.
12/05/2012
Contributor: No-nita No-nita
Quote:
Originally posted by Amber1319
I would as long as they wouldn't expect to be treated differently, as in making you do everything for them.
Why would they? I have never met a disabled person who expected others to help them with things unless it was something they COULDN'T do on their own. Often times people with major physical disabilities sort of "overcompensate" in fact, to make sure that no one assumes this of them, and try to do absolutely everything on their own so they aren't singled out as being different. For example, a family member with MS could use a handicap marker on his car to be able to park closer to stores, because he has issues walking and balancing properly. But he refuses to do so because he doesn't want to be seen as different or like he wants some kind of handout. That attitude is much more common than laziness / expecting other people to coddle you.
12/06/2012
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Sure, absolutely!
12/06/2012
Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
if I liked them as a person, definitely. Having a special person is definitely worth the little bit of trouble we'd inevitably have to work though.
12/06/2012
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
I don't know. And I mean that without intending to be "mean" or "unfair." I lead a physical lifestyle and I'd like to share it with someone. If I couldn't go hiking with them or do the outdoorsy stuff that I like ... more
I like this answer. Some people have specific lifestyles. And being in a relationship is a commitment. Not everyone is ready to commit to making sacrifices or changing lifestyles in the ways that might be required. I think everyone needs to know what they can handle or work with in a relationship, so this type of selfish is actually good.

As for me, I don't know. Maybe. Depends on the person.
12/06/2012
Contributor: smlove smlove
As long as they were awesome, who cares about the chair?
01/12/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
If I was attracted to them, the fact that they were in a wheelchair would not be very concerning. I'm sure if we started a relationship we could figure everything out along the way.
01/12/2013