I agree 100% with what Chilipepper said — and not for the first time either!
He could have been A LOT more tactful. It's hard to express dissatisfaction without it sounding like a personal rejection...but it IS possible. I totally agree that "what do we do NOW?" is the question that that needs to be asked. Keep in mind, too, that some people are ridiculously hard to please; it may be HIM and not you, that's responsible for his dissatisfaction. Absolutely, he should be your willing partner in increasing his — and YOUR — satisfaction. Otherwise, he IS selfish and you'd be better off with someone else, even if it means being alone for awhile first.
My own experience with insecurity was when a girlfriend lost interest in me and then cheated. That was a major blow to my self-confidence and it took a long time before I felt like myself again. For years, I couldn't shake the loss of confidence, even after I realized it was not because of any fault of my own, but because my ex-girlfriend was shallow: the other guy was from a wealthy family and went to an Ivy League school (I was from a fairly poor family and was working my way through a public U).
Only after
cognitive behavioral therapy did I begin to realize that my happiness was up to me, and that that was true for everyone else, too — including romantic partners. Also, although I've never been a big fan of affirmations, this one helped a lot (and still does):
I'm perfect just the way I am, and everything is happening exactly as it should. It's true! And if someone else doesn't see it, that's THEIR problem.