The New Intimacy

Low Sensitivity

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Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Alright, so I am a woman and I have some questions for you guys out there. I have never dated or slept with a man with this issue, so I'm curious to see others that have it.

My boyfriend has very low sensitivity in his penis, more specifically around the head and top part of his shaft. Does anyone else have this issue, and if so, how do you get around it?

He can masturbate and get himself off, but he hardly orgasms when we have sex and he says he can't feel anything when I give him head. He stays hard because he's aroused, obviously, but he says the feeling is very low. Admits that when he masturbates he has to be very rough.

Is there anything I can do to help him out? He says that he's perfectly okay with me getting off over him, but I'd like the pleasure of him getting pleasure.
11/28/2013
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Huh...that's a new one for me. I'm racking my brain trying to think of something like a sensitivity cream, similar to the nipple and clit gels we used to carry but for men. I got nothing.

That's about all I can think of though, trying something that has a high content of peppermint oil in it or even just straight up peppermint oil but then you'd have to worry about reactions and if it's too much or too little. Whatever you do and I'm sure you know this -- do not use cinnamon extract. It is very caustic when used on skin and can cause a very uncomfortable and even an allergic reaction.

Doing a quick google search has resulted in an interesting discovery:

The circumcised penis glans will in fact dry out and the layer of skin on the glans will thicken. Thats why I from day one after my op (10 years ago) still use vaseline before shower time in the morning and evening and even use uncented body cream after I had a shower at the gym. This for me works and I can notice if I skip for a week or two. I cannot garentee that your sensativety will increase though...

Perhaps this might be the real issue?
11/29/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Huh...that's a new one for me. I'm racking my brain trying to think of something like a sensitivity cream, similar to the nipple and clit gels we used to carry but for men. I got nothing.

That's about all I can think of though, ... more
That's a really interesting thought! I'll have to run that one by him.

I totally forgot I posted this, also, and he is now my fiance, haha. Surprise!

Last night was actually only the second time he has come to full orgasm when with me, though it wasn't during PIV sex because I was a bit too slick and my wetness kept causing the condom to slip, so he took it off and finished off himself.

But, I had thought about using some of the nipple creams, I just wasn't sure if it was safe to use on a penis.
12/17/2013
Contributor: high-rise high-rise
This could be a result of DGS (Death Grip Syndrome). This is caused by being to rough and thus can desensitize him. Being gentle and abstaining for a little while to let his member recover sensitivity might be the answer. Hope this helps.
12/17/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by high-rise
This could be a result of DGS (Death Grip Syndrome). This is caused by being to rough and thus can desensitize him. Being gentle and abstaining for a little while to let his member recover sensitivity might be the answer. Hope this helps.
Oh yeah?

Well, as it happens we will have to abstain for a while anyway as we both seem to have developed cold sores.

Do you have any idea on how long one should generally wait? I don't know his masturbation habits very well, but I know his sex habits haha
12/22/2013
Contributor: high-rise high-rise
If DGS is the case I would think it would depend on how rough he is on himself. This doesn't mean he has to abstain from intercourse though. Just masturbating because of how rough it sounds when he is when going solo.
12/23/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
That's a really interesting thought! I'll have to run that one by him.

I totally forgot I posted this, also, and he is now my fiance, haha. Surprise!

Last night was actually only the second time he has come to full orgasm when ... more
Congratulations on your engagement!!

Have you had any luck with this issue? I hope he gets checked out by his urologist, just to see what's going on -- because you never know, another condition could be causing this. And at the least, you both should feel better knowing there is nothing wrong or finding out about safe things to try.

Please let us know if you find out anything as it could help others who might not be willing to come out and ask, but would search out discussion topics about it.
12/23/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
Congratulations on your engagement!!

Have you had any luck with this issue? I hope he gets checked out by his urologist, just to see what's going on -- because you never know, another condition could be causing this. And at the least, ... more
I will definitely let you know.

We haven't had much luck with it yet, but then again, we haven't even had much time to even fool around aside from two days last week. We average about a 2-3 hour playtime including foreplay and sex, and he's typically still going when I'm worn out which is a new one! I'm usually the one wearing out the other person!

I'm going to try to get him to the doctor sometime in the next few months just so we know he's healthy and/or not.

We did also try a different condom the last time we had sex. Well, two were different for me, but only one was different for him. We tried to Trojan Ecstasy condoms, which felt way different and way better and honestly had it not been for me running out of stamina, he probably would have had full orgasm while still inside me, but I was so tired ahaha!

It's a slow experiement and discovery process, but I will do what I can to keep everyone updated as you are right, it could be something that others deal with, but don't know how to fix.
12/25/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
That's a really interesting thought! I'll have to run that one by him.

I totally forgot I posted this, also, and he is now my fiance, haha. Surprise!

Last night was actually only the second time he has come to full orgasm when ... more
Congratulations on your engagement!! The skin on the penis might be a little thinner than the nipple, but it should overall be safe to apply to the area. Good luck! I think it's fantastic you're trying so hard to achieve this.
12/26/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Congratulations on your engagement!! The skin on the penis might be a little thinner than the nipple, but it should overall be safe to apply to the area. Good luck! I think it's fantastic you're trying so hard to achieve this.
I want him to have as much fun as I do even though he says he's not got as big of a drive as most men do. I really think this problem of his is the reason why his drive isn't so big. At least part of it anyway. Plus, I see it in his eyes when we're having sex when he comes close, but he doesn't cum, he gets this "oh god please" look on his face.

The last two times we've had sex, we finished off with mutual masturbation because I was just so tired after 2-3 hours of nonstop activity and he was still so close to cumming but hadn't. It was so so delightful to see him cum and finally get to taste him haha.
12/26/2013
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Not sure if he is into this but it does work for me. Try using a butt plug or prostate massager like the Aneros MGX. It brings more blood to the entire pelvic region. Prostate will be massaged while thrusting and receiving oral. I'm much more sensitive whenever doing this. Using a condom give me less feeling also. Maybe try the thinner brands or use a different type of contraception.
12/26/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Not sure if he is into this but it does work for me. Try using a butt plug or prostate massager like the Aneros MGX. It brings more blood to the entire pelvic region. Prostate will be massaged while thrusting and receiving oral. I'm much more ... more
I asked him about what if we just relied on the pill, but he's nervous about doing it that way. The last condom we used was a lot thinner and I think that helped. I got a variety pack that has the Trojan Bareskins in them, so we shall see how that works too.

I prefer no condoms, myself, but he's not really comfortable with it.

However, I do love that idea of trying that with a massager or something. I know he really does like having his balls stimulated during sex and masturbation, so that's another option too.
12/26/2013
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
I asked him about what if we just relied on the pill, but he's nervous about doing it that way. The last condom we used was a lot thinner and I think that helped. I got a variety pack that has the Trojan Bareskins in them, so we shall see how ... more
It's rare to hear of a male preferring condoms. I know I don't like them. If he's not tried plugs or P.massagers yet, maybe start with a finger (no or short nail) in his behind while giving oral. If he likes that combination after a few times, them suggest a small plug to start or the MGX. If you use a plug then offer one to him. His own or a NJoy (after cleaning) I'm partial to the shape of the NJoys. In my opinion they are better for this purpose that normal shaped ones.
12/26/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
It's rare to hear of a male preferring condoms. I know I don't like them. If he's not tried plugs or P.massagers yet, maybe start with a finger (no or short nail) in his behind while giving oral. If he likes that combination after a few ... more
He only prefers them because he doesn't always trust the pill. I mean, I was a birth control pill baby myself.

He'd just really rather not take risks -shrugs- Oh well.

I know he's definitely up for being a top for a guy, but he said he's not really been much of a bottom, so I'll ask him how he feels about that. I do know that he likes a bullet vibrator on his balls, so who knows, yeah?
12/26/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
I asked him about what if we just relied on the pill, but he's nervous about doing it that way. The last condom we used was a lot thinner and I think that helped. I got a variety pack that has the Trojan Bareskins in them, so we shall see how ... more
Forgive me as I pry...(I'm good at that, btw)...but if he's having trouble orgasming, then the condom is really a moot point, no? No cum = no babies.
12/27/2013
Contributor: November November
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Forgive me as I pry...(I'm good at that, btw)...but if he's having trouble orgasming, then the condom is really a moot point, no? No cum = no babies.
Isn't there such a thing as pre-ejaculatory fluid? I looked up a couple of articles just now by Googling it, and they say the presence of sperm in pre-ejaculate secretion is debatable. According to Wikipedia, one study on it got mixed results with some cases showing high sperm count. Just something to think about before doing away with the condoms.

Sorry, Stormy, I didn't mean to step on your toes.
12/27/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by November
Isn't there such a thing as pre-ejaculatory fluid? I looked up a couple of articles just now by Googling it, and they say the presence of sperm in pre-ejaculate secretion is debatable. According to Wikipedia, one study on it got mixed results ... more
Hhaha, I actually had both of these arguments playing in my head.

That's actually kind of what I had thought, but I hadn't said it to him yet because I wasn't quite sure how to word it since I wasn't sure if it would offend him or not.

And as for the presence of sperm in pre-ejaculate, in my Sex Ed class we were always told that there was the possibility of some being there, but the more I have read into sex and organs and all of that, I'm seeing that more studies show that pre-ejaculate really doesn't seem to have any sperm in it. It's more of a self-lubrication features of the penis much like when a women gets wet.

But, you know, slowly but surely :p I do want to get on the pill for other reasons anyway. One because I am not ready to become pregnant and two because my hormones are SUPER out of whack lately and I'm tired of becoming a she-hulk in the week leading up to my period.
12/28/2013
Contributor: toysforall toysforall
Foreskin restoration. Look it up.
08/30/2014