What do you think when someone dates someone much older?

Contributor: Timaree Timaree
There are lots of things that go through our minds. That it must be real love, that they must have nothing in common, that it must be about sex and money, that one is clearly in power. Whatever. What do YOU think?
08/23/2010
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Contributor: Alegria Alegria
I think that they must have a lot in common, but really I usually don't think about it unless someone asks my opinion of the couple.

I'm in a relationship with a guy that's 5 years older than me(I'm a sophomore in college and he's a graduate student); that's enough of an age to bother my parents and make his friends judge both of us. It's unfair but I've gotten used to it.
08/23/2010
Contributor: MnWolf MnWolf
It isn't about either of them in my books, I am 14 years older then my girlfriend, it is about being with someone that truely gets you. You are able to be yourself and not judged because of it. Doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. Learning from each other, as well as learning new things together.

Personaly I think too many people put too much importance on age differences, there are times that it is a problem, but if the couple is true to themselves and eachother, can grow together, can push each other to continue to improve themsleves.... what is the big deal. They need to be honest with each other first and always, end of story!
08/23/2010
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I wonder how they met, how they started dating, what attracted them to each other. I wonder how they make their relationship work, if they're happy together, or if they have regrets. I wonder what life experiences the older partner has introduced the younger partner to, and I wonder if the younger partner feels like they're missing out on something. I wonder what they fight about, I wonder if they have a future in mind.

And, like I wonder with any couple, I wonder how the sex is.
08/23/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'm +11 on my bride. For the last 20+ years it's been fantastic - but I use to worry occasionally about the future until a 49 year-old friend dropped dead leaving his 49 year old wife a widow - it can happen at any age - so I just do everything I can to stay in shape and enjoy every moment we have together.

I never even thought of dating younger girls - it seemed wrong or unnecessary - but by the time I was in my mid 30s the opportunity presented itself on a frequent basis. Although I dated them, I never thought of marrying young - that is until my wife came along - by far the youngest I ever dated.

It all came down to compatibility - we just had so much in common that age became a non-issue. After 20+ years age remains nothing more than a quick jab or joke as we happily go about our wedded bliss!
08/23/2010
Contributor: Timaree Timaree
great column on dating older women link
08/24/2010
Contributor: new southern girl new southern girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
There are lots of things that go through our minds. That it must be real love, that they must have nothing in common, that it must be about sex and money, that one is clearly in power. Whatever. What do YOU think?
I am biased. I am with someone much older. We were just friendly at first but we moved on from there. I am in love with him and he feels the same way. I will also say that sex with him is out of this word. He always makes sure that I get what I need and no one else has ever done that. You may read that and say it is just sex but he is also someone that I can trust and talk to about any and everything. I think the fact that he is older and more mature has a lot to do with how well we are together and have been for over two years now.
08/27/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
I think it's great! Love is love, you know? But there is one girl I know who dates older guys just for the attention and presents, and walks around our parties scowling at our friends and mumbling shit about how "immature" we all are compared to her. Skeezy bitch..
09/16/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I don't think about it much at all, personally. I know some people must think something about it because people will definitely give my boyfriend and I looks when we're out and we're 14 years apart and it's somewhat obvious. I do think some of them think I must be a gold digger or something like that but in reality he's far from rich but the sweetest man I've ever met and we're remarkably compatible. I always figure people are together for reasons like compatibility and happiness and never think much further past it. As for the looks my man and I get, I just tell myself they're jealous because the gorgeous man next to me is MINE and I'm not letting him go
09/16/2010
Contributor: UrNaughtyaAngel UrNaughtyaAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
I wonder how they met, how they started dating, what attracted them to each other. I wonder how they make their relationship work, if they're happy together, or if they have regrets. I wonder what life experiences the older partner has ... more
I wonder the exact same things too. And use to think there is no way I could date someone older than me till I met someone who is now a dear friend of mine.
09/17/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Different people means different kinds of relationships.

I have a friend who married a guy that is roughly 40 years older than her bcs of her religious values. They are quite inlove.

I guess at first I was shocked but once you see there is nothing to be shocked about then you get over it. I guess thats is especially the case of they have a good mutual relationship.
09/18/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I also know of someone else who dated someone 15 years older than her and it was not so bad bcs they were both young but it didnt work out bcs they were in different places in their lives and wanted different things.
09/18/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
The hubby is 14 years older then i am. Most don't even realize. We have so much in common, love at first sight, we are truly 2 peas in a pod.
09/19/2010
Contributor: HisLittleGirl HisLittleGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
There are lots of things that go through our minds. That it must be real love, that they must have nothing in common, that it must be about sex and money, that one is clearly in power. Whatever. What do YOU think?
I think there isn't a problem and if they are happy together then I am happy for them.

But that's coming from me, someone who is dating a wonderful man older than myself. Hehehe.
09/26/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I know it's awful of me, but I sometimes wonder if the older one is emotionally immature and can't interact properly with other adults (because my ten years older ex-husband was quite emotionally immature). I'm not against younger-older couples at all, just my own thing about my own situation.
09/26/2010
Contributor: alayamae alayamae
if you're between 14-25, it's weird to have a big age difference, but after that it's not too bad.
10/03/2010
Contributor: VampKitty VampKitty
My bf and I are 13 years apart. I think couples that have some distance in age actually work better. When it gets closer to a 30+ difference, it seems odd to me. But I honestly think some age difference it a really good thing for some people. Others work better when with someone their own age.

My bf and I are like two in one. We are great together, we understand each other.
I make him feel older then me with some of my comments, but we both like our age difference.
10/08/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
There are lots of things that go through our minds. That it must be real love, that they must have nothing in common, that it must be about sex and money, that one is clearly in power. Whatever. What do YOU think?
I don't really think much of it unless it is REALLY extreme like grandma and guy in his twenties kind of thing. I had a friend who was engaged to a guy 25 years her senior. She was like 22 and he was close to 50. So, I kind of got used to it. They didn't end up working and I wasn't surprised. At those ages you just want different things.
10/08/2010