Is 20 years too much?

Contributor: unoriginalgirlyid unoriginalgirlyid
Recently received a message from someone who was almost 20 years older then me. I had a hard time deciding if I should even message back. What do you think? Would you even consider someone that much older than you?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
19  (45%)
23  (55%)
Total votes: 42
Poll is open
06/10/2015
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Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
I voted yes, but with conditions. Here's why, if you and this person genuinely have stuff in common, you two like the same things then it could work. Know that they might have the been there done that mindset though. Did this seem more like a booty call or like a lets sit down and talk kind of message?
06/10/2015
Contributor: CuriousJ CuriousJ
As always Inq has some good insight. I agree.
06/12/2015
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by unoriginalgirlyid
Recently received a message from someone who was almost 20 years older then me. I had a hard time deciding if I should even message back. What do you think? Would you even consider someone that much older than you?
A message from them to talk, to have sex? Consider them in what way? I see no issue with an age difference for friendship, beyond that it depends.
06/24/2015
Contributor: Kipperanne Kipperanne
I say no depending on what their situation is for. My husband and I are 20 years apart and we have been together for almost 10 years.
06/24/2015
Contributor: Amber1319 Amber1319
Quote:
Originally posted by unoriginalgirlyid
Recently received a message from someone who was almost 20 years older then me. I had a hard time deciding if I should even message back. What do you think? Would you even consider someone that much older than you?
For myself personally that is a little old. I wouldn't mind talking to them, but that's as far as I think it would go
06/28/2015
Contributor: Sir Sir
My girl is seven years older than me. I have some friends forty years older than me. Age doesn't matter.
06/28/2015
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
what type of message? Life's short, best to have as many friends as possible.
07/22/2015
Contributor: NJ casanova NJ casanova
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
I voted yes, but with conditions. Here's why, if you and this person genuinely have stuff in common, you two like the same things then it could work. Know that they might have the been there done that mindset though. Did this seem more like a ... more
I totally agree with Inquisitor, the type of message will tell alot about his intentions. Being 20yrs older, I think it's just a booty call and if you go into it with that mind set you'd be better off/less chance of getting hurt. I personally wouldn't pursue a girl 20yrs younger, a she would only be 18yrs old and I'd feel like a perv. A women 20yrs older, is a senior citizen(older than my mom) I don't see being attracted to her, unless she's loaded I could use a "SUGAR MAMA" thats CASH not confetti
11/02/2015
Contributor: Honeymuffin33 Honeymuffin33
I guess it would really depend on the situation. The oldest person I've dealt with was only about 5-6 years older than me.
11/05/2015
Contributor: Lioncub Lioncub
While I feel age is just a number, that is a bit too much of an age gap for me.
11/06/2015
Contributor: aprilm33 aprilm33
Quote:
Originally posted by unoriginalgirlyid
Recently received a message from someone who was almost 20 years older then me. I had a hard time deciding if I should even message back. What do you think? Would you even consider someone that much older than you?
yes, in fact I have been with a guy who is 15 years older than me for a year now. and its working out just fine.
11/30/2015
Contributor: grrrldickz grrrldickz
Quote:
Originally posted by unoriginalgirlyid
Recently received a message from someone who was almost 20 years older then me. I had a hard time deciding if I should even message back. What do you think? Would you even consider someone that much older than you?
I voted "no", but I meant to vote "yes". I'm not fully awake yet, sorry! But I'm almost 30 and would have no problem dating a 50-year-old man if he had all the other requirements in a man. Sometimes age does equal maturity.
12/09/2015
Contributor: DancerKittyKat DancerKittyKat
I think every person has his or her own situation. I do agree that maturity has a lot to do with it. I would also like to add that, as someone who is still a student, people who are ten years older than me are likely at a very different place in their lives. Similarly, people who are ten years younger than me are underage (and also in a different stage). In contrast, a person in her 30s could very well have similar life stability as someone ten years older than her.

As much as I do love romantics, I thought I'd bring in a practical point to this discussion.
04/14/2016
Contributor: cagypsy cagypsy
Quote:
Originally posted by unoriginalgirlyid
Recently received a message from someone who was almost 20 years older then me. I had a hard time deciding if I should even message back. What do you think? Would you even consider someone that much older than you?
I really think it depends on you, and on him. I don't do the bar or club scene, I don't go out every weekend or anything "young & crazy." So for me going out with someone older worked because our interests and wants are similar enough.
12/15/2016
Contributor: wist wist
I'm usually in the camp of "age is just a number," but in some cases where chemistry reigns true, it might be doable. That said, I'd be VERY VERY leery of this kind of age gap with one individual (or both) coming at this from a more predatory perspective.
12/27/2016
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'm 11 years older than my wife. We are blissfully happy together - however there are huge physical changes between people with a wide separation. I just don't think I would have the energy or stamina to keep up with someone 20 years my junior.

I agree with Wist - he advises that you be VERY VERY careful. This is a generational chasm - likely too large to be successful.
02/11/2017
Contributor: poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by unoriginalgirlyid
Recently received a message from someone who was almost 20 years older then me. I had a hard time deciding if I should even message back. What do you think? Would you even consider someone that much older than you?
There comes a point in your life where its not about the age its about how they make you feel..
02/13/2017
Contributor: LovinThisLife LovinThisLife
My parents were 19 years apart, married for 26 years before my father died.
03/03/2017