So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
Featured by EdenFantasys
Is 16 years too much of an age difference?
01/15/2014
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Definitely not. It would be different if it was like his little joke statement, haha. Or even if you had been 16 yourself and he so much older.
The fact of the matter is that you two have been together for so long and made it work, because yes, which such an age gap and you having been so young at the time, there was a vast maturity difference I'm sure. HOWEVER, you two have obviously made it work out, and that is all that matters in the end.
Age is just a number at the end of the day.
I dated a man 15 years my senior once and it was good until I realized he was more immature than I was, hah!
The fact of the matter is that you two have been together for so long and made it work, because yes, which such an age gap and you having been so young at the time, there was a vast maturity difference I'm sure. HOWEVER, you two have obviously made it work out, and that is all that matters in the end.
Age is just a number at the end of the day.
I dated a man 15 years my senior once and it was good until I realized he was more immature than I was, hah!
01/15/2014
Um, Fire are you me? Cause that is exactly when my husband and I hooked up and we share the same age difference. We've been together for almost 14 years. If two people are complimentary and work well together in the relationship, it doesn't matter what their ages are.
01/15/2014
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My mother is 8 years older than my dad, but you really couldn't tell because my mother really looks ten years younger than she really is at all times.
Originally posted by
Ansley
Um, Fire are you me? Cause that is exactly when my husband and I hooked up and we share the same age difference. We've been together for almost 14 years. If two people are complimentary and work well together in the relationship, it doesn't
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more
Um, Fire are you me? Cause that is exactly when my husband and I hooked up and we share the same age difference. We've been together for almost 14 years. If two people are complimentary and work well together in the relationship, it doesn't matter what their ages are.
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01/15/2014
if it works for BOTH of you, then you have your answer.
01/15/2014
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Agreed, it is a non-issue unless you let it be.
Originally posted by
edeneve
if it works for BOTH of you, then you have your answer.
01/23/2014
My boyfriend is 16 years older than me. The age difference doesn't matter to me because we get along just fine
01/23/2014
As far as I'm concerned as long as everyone is over 18 and concenting it shouldn't matter what age they are.
01/24/2014
If it works for you then why do you care? For some people 16 years is too much and others not.
01/24/2014
if it works for you perfect! my husband to be and I are 20 years apart. Im younger 25 hes 45
02/06/2014
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For me? I'd say yes. I always preferred potential partners to be within 3 years of my age. I know two couples however who are 13 years apart. One is my husband's parents, and the other being a colleague of mine. In both cases the woman is younger.
Originally posted by
Irish Fyre Queen
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep,
...
more
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
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04/04/2014
Of course not, and I like that baby carriage comment XD. My husband and I are 18 years apart, and we joke about how he stole me from the cradle. He'd tell me he's rocking the cradle and I'm like, "You're ROBBING it!" We actually found out we possibly met when I was a child and he was in his 20's because we used to go to the very same restaurant all the time. Also found out he happened to be in the town when I was being born.
05/01/2014
As long as things are legal, meh. Though a difference in age is still a relative metric, and delta/baseline (age difference/min age) is a better metric. 16 years apart when the youngest is 18 is judged way differently in the eyes of the public then when the youngest is 40.
07/23/2014
I see no issue with it.
07/23/2014
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IMO, the older you are the less it matters. 16 years is a big difference, but it's not creepy.
Originally posted by
Irish Fyre Queen
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep,
...
more
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
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07/25/2014
For a lot of people age is a number. It all depends on the couple. In my case, I was married to a man who was 17 1/2 years older than me, and it did not work out for us due to the age difference.
07/25/2014
Nope. I really truly believe the only thing which matters is compatibility in important areas. I'm still looking, and I've dated men younger than me by a year or two, to men 20 years older than me. Their age or the difference has been the least of my concerns. I've never really gone more than a year or two below me though. I just find men younger than me to be too immature for my tastes although I never rule anyone out based on that alone. I've just always been attracted to older men.
07/26/2014
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Agreed. If you are two consenting adults, what matters is how you both personally feel about your relationship. Different people mature at different rates, so that can be an issue whether you have a small age gap or a larger one. It's possible if you two had met at a different time, you wouldn't have been ready to date each other, but it worked out the way it did so that's what's important. It can be weird to talk about the age difference in terms of "when I was X You were Y" , but again just think about how it ended up working out , you guys met at ages you worked out and that's what matters.
Originally posted by
PadoruLover
As far as I'm concerned as long as everyone is over 18 and concenting it shouldn't matter what age they are.
07/26/2014
Quote:
I personally wouldn't want a 16 year age difference I don't think, but if you find that right person age probably wouldn't matter as much.
Originally posted by
Irish Fyre Queen
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep,
...
more
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
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08/22/2014
I've been together for six years with a woman 26 years older than me. I've always, even in my teens, been attracted to significantly older women. I'm not totally sure why but my views and understanding of age have always been skewed. My parents were 46 and 50 when I was born and people used to assume I was adopted or my parents were my grandparents and it was really drilled in my head that age didnt matter. Always was close to my teachers and other adults growing up. I'm not sure everyone can handle bigger age differences but it works for me. My wife had some issues with it early on, we were both really attracted to one another, got along great but she thought I was older than I was and even then she was wary of it all. Convinced her we should give it a shot anyway and when she did find my out my actual age (I had no idea she thought I was a decade older than I was, but I guess we both played on ignorance then, she didnt want to know, I didnt tell) she had another bout of doubts but I don't know, we couldn't stay away from each other. And we've done really well together.
We have some interesting dynamics too. She had never really been with women before me and I didnt have a whole lot of relationship experience so we kind of learned a lot together. Then about 3, 3.5 years ago I got sick. I have a progressive genetic condition and its been really rough. Friends used to say to me "What happens when she gets really old? You'll be stuck taking care of her" and all those sorts of things but I guess you never know how life is going to work out because she'll outlive me most likely and she's been an amazing support to me. She started menopause around the same time I got sick enough for things to effect our sex life so our bodies were both changing, libidos dropping and we had to figure things out all over again sexually in some ways and really fight to keep things up sexually. We've been through so much together in general and obviously its been hard at times but I think its brought us a lot closer. If a relationship can weather the sort of storms we've been through and not just survive but thrive, well what more proof do yo need that age doesn't really matter.
So that's my point of view. Think my mothers parents had a 20, maybe 22 year age difference too and back then I don't know if my grandfather (who died before I was even born) was lying about his age in general or what but my moms birth certificate has him listed as being ten years younger! So I think the world has progressed a little at least. Not going to lie, my wife and I are still judged, not by the people who matter and society is so much harsher on older women than older men so I think that plays into it and heck a lesbian couple with a big age gap and one partner who is somewhat visibly disabled may be more than some people can comprehend! When I bring my wife to a doctors appt or the hospital with me and they ask who she is, the looks we get sometimes are interesting but I don't honestly know if its because of the age difference (she easily passes for 15 years younger than she is though somehow getting sick weirdly enough has only made me look younger, I'm very short, petite, and have to carry a backpack with an IV pump in it so I've been mistaken for a high school student...) or if its because we're both women (and both rather feminine). Luckily I've never been one to really care what others thought and like I said, I grew up with people judging my parents or jumping to assumptions about them so maybe I'm just used to it. That and I seem to have observed, at least where I live, that gay and lesbian couples often have much larger age differences (several celebrity examples of this too). Perhaps its because we don't have as wide of a dating pool. For sure I've noticed it's never been much of an issue when were in primarily GLBT places or events. And we know some other couples with 10-20ish year age differences.
Anyway sorry to be so longwinded. Haven't been around here in a few years but I have noticed this tends to be a pretty accepting, open group. Perhaps, and maybe this is even the case with it seeming to be less of an issue in the GLBT community, perhaps people who are more sexually open have less qualms and stereotypes? Especially because society seems to say only young women are attractive (while men seem to not have the same pressure to be young) I've straight up had people say older women are gross, not sexually attractive, etc. Even my wife jokes that I'm such a good self confidence boost. She's 56 and I still think she's the sexiest woman on earth.
We have some interesting dynamics too. She had never really been with women before me and I didnt have a whole lot of relationship experience so we kind of learned a lot together. Then about 3, 3.5 years ago I got sick. I have a progressive genetic condition and its been really rough. Friends used to say to me "What happens when she gets really old? You'll be stuck taking care of her" and all those sorts of things but I guess you never know how life is going to work out because she'll outlive me most likely and she's been an amazing support to me. She started menopause around the same time I got sick enough for things to effect our sex life so our bodies were both changing, libidos dropping and we had to figure things out all over again sexually in some ways and really fight to keep things up sexually. We've been through so much together in general and obviously its been hard at times but I think its brought us a lot closer. If a relationship can weather the sort of storms we've been through and not just survive but thrive, well what more proof do yo need that age doesn't really matter.
So that's my point of view. Think my mothers parents had a 20, maybe 22 year age difference too and back then I don't know if my grandfather (who died before I was even born) was lying about his age in general or what but my moms birth certificate has him listed as being ten years younger! So I think the world has progressed a little at least. Not going to lie, my wife and I are still judged, not by the people who matter and society is so much harsher on older women than older men so I think that plays into it and heck a lesbian couple with a big age gap and one partner who is somewhat visibly disabled may be more than some people can comprehend! When I bring my wife to a doctors appt or the hospital with me and they ask who she is, the looks we get sometimes are interesting but I don't honestly know if its because of the age difference (she easily passes for 15 years younger than she is though somehow getting sick weirdly enough has only made me look younger, I'm very short, petite, and have to carry a backpack with an IV pump in it so I've been mistaken for a high school student...) or if its because we're both women (and both rather feminine). Luckily I've never been one to really care what others thought and like I said, I grew up with people judging my parents or jumping to assumptions about them so maybe I'm just used to it. That and I seem to have observed, at least where I live, that gay and lesbian couples often have much larger age differences (several celebrity examples of this too). Perhaps its because we don't have as wide of a dating pool. For sure I've noticed it's never been much of an issue when were in primarily GLBT places or events. And we know some other couples with 10-20ish year age differences.
Anyway sorry to be so longwinded. Haven't been around here in a few years but I have noticed this tends to be a pretty accepting, open group. Perhaps, and maybe this is even the case with it seeming to be less of an issue in the GLBT community, perhaps people who are more sexually open have less qualms and stereotypes? Especially because society seems to say only young women are attractive (while men seem to not have the same pressure to be young) I've straight up had people say older women are gross, not sexually attractive, etc. Even my wife jokes that I'm such a good self confidence boost. She's 56 and I still think she's the sexiest woman on earth.
10/09/2014
Quote:
Wow, that was even longer than I realized. So long story short, clearly things work for you and your hubby just as they do for my wife and me so the answer to your question is no, it's not too big of an age difference. Might be for some people but if its working for you and your relationship has lasted, and you love each other, have good communication, fight for and work on your relationship and value it, then age isn't an issue. Cliche and all, love is definitely (age) blind.
Originally posted by
Vagiscrumptious
I've been together for six years with a woman 26 years older than me. I've always, even in my teens, been attracted to significantly older women. I'm not totally sure why but my views and understanding of age have always been skewed. My
...
more
I've been together for six years with a woman 26 years older than me. I've always, even in my teens, been attracted to significantly older women. I'm not totally sure why but my views and understanding of age have always been skewed. My parents were 46 and 50 when I was born and people used to assume I was adopted or my parents were my grandparents and it was really drilled in my head that age didnt matter. Always was close to my teachers and other adults growing up. I'm not sure everyone can handle bigger age differences but it works for me. My wife had some issues with it early on, we were both really attracted to one another, got along great but she thought I was older than I was and even then she was wary of it all. Convinced her we should give it a shot anyway and when she did find my out my actual age (I had no idea she thought I was a decade older than I was, but I guess we both played on ignorance then, she didnt want to know, I didnt tell) she had another bout of doubts but I don't know, we couldn't stay away from each other. And we've done really well together.
We have some interesting dynamics too. She had never really been with women before me and I didnt have a whole lot of relationship experience so we kind of learned a lot together. Then about 3, 3.5 years ago I got sick. I have a progressive genetic condition and its been really rough. Friends used to say to me "What happens when she gets really old? You'll be stuck taking care of her" and all those sorts of things but I guess you never know how life is going to work out because she'll outlive me most likely and she's been an amazing support to me. She started menopause around the same time I got sick enough for things to effect our sex life so our bodies were both changing, libidos dropping and we had to figure things out all over again sexually in some ways and really fight to keep things up sexually. We've been through so much together in general and obviously its been hard at times but I think its brought us a lot closer. If a relationship can weather the sort of storms we've been through and not just survive but thrive, well what more proof do yo need that age doesn't really matter.
So that's my point of view. Think my mothers parents had a 20, maybe 22 year age difference too and back then I don't know if my grandfather (who died before I was even born) was lying about his age in general or what but my moms birth certificate has him listed as being ten years younger! So I think the world has progressed a little at least. Not going to lie, my wife and I are still judged, not by the people who matter and society is so much harsher on older women than older men so I think that plays into it and heck a lesbian couple with a big age gap and one partner who is somewhat visibly disabled may be more than some people can comprehend! When I bring my wife to a doctors appt or the hospital with me and they ask who she is, the looks we get sometimes are interesting but I don't honestly know if its because of the age difference (she easily passes for 15 years younger than she is though somehow getting sick weirdly enough has only made me look younger, I'm very short, petite, and have to carry a backpack with an IV pump in it so I've been mistaken for a high school student...) or if its because we're both women (and both rather feminine). Luckily I've never been one to really care what others thought and like I said, I grew up with people judging my parents or jumping to assumptions about them so maybe I'm just used to it. That and I seem to have observed, at least where I live, that gay and lesbian couples often have much larger age differences (several celebrity examples of this too). Perhaps its because we don't have as wide of a dating pool. For sure I've noticed it's never been much of an issue when were in primarily GLBT places or events. And we know some other couples with 10-20ish year age differences.
Anyway sorry to be so longwinded. Haven't been around here in a few years but I have noticed this tends to be a pretty accepting, open group. Perhaps, and maybe this is even the case with it seeming to be less of an issue in the GLBT community, perhaps people who are more sexually open have less qualms and stereotypes? Especially because society seems to say only young women are attractive (while men seem to not have the same pressure to be young) I've straight up had people say older women are gross, not sexually attractive, etc. Even my wife jokes that I'm such a good self confidence boost. She's 56 and I still think she's the sexiest woman on earth. less
We have some interesting dynamics too. She had never really been with women before me and I didnt have a whole lot of relationship experience so we kind of learned a lot together. Then about 3, 3.5 years ago I got sick. I have a progressive genetic condition and its been really rough. Friends used to say to me "What happens when she gets really old? You'll be stuck taking care of her" and all those sorts of things but I guess you never know how life is going to work out because she'll outlive me most likely and she's been an amazing support to me. She started menopause around the same time I got sick enough for things to effect our sex life so our bodies were both changing, libidos dropping and we had to figure things out all over again sexually in some ways and really fight to keep things up sexually. We've been through so much together in general and obviously its been hard at times but I think its brought us a lot closer. If a relationship can weather the sort of storms we've been through and not just survive but thrive, well what more proof do yo need that age doesn't really matter.
So that's my point of view. Think my mothers parents had a 20, maybe 22 year age difference too and back then I don't know if my grandfather (who died before I was even born) was lying about his age in general or what but my moms birth certificate has him listed as being ten years younger! So I think the world has progressed a little at least. Not going to lie, my wife and I are still judged, not by the people who matter and society is so much harsher on older women than older men so I think that plays into it and heck a lesbian couple with a big age gap and one partner who is somewhat visibly disabled may be more than some people can comprehend! When I bring my wife to a doctors appt or the hospital with me and they ask who she is, the looks we get sometimes are interesting but I don't honestly know if its because of the age difference (she easily passes for 15 years younger than she is though somehow getting sick weirdly enough has only made me look younger, I'm very short, petite, and have to carry a backpack with an IV pump in it so I've been mistaken for a high school student...) or if its because we're both women (and both rather feminine). Luckily I've never been one to really care what others thought and like I said, I grew up with people judging my parents or jumping to assumptions about them so maybe I'm just used to it. That and I seem to have observed, at least where I live, that gay and lesbian couples often have much larger age differences (several celebrity examples of this too). Perhaps its because we don't have as wide of a dating pool. For sure I've noticed it's never been much of an issue when were in primarily GLBT places or events. And we know some other couples with 10-20ish year age differences.
Anyway sorry to be so longwinded. Haven't been around here in a few years but I have noticed this tends to be a pretty accepting, open group. Perhaps, and maybe this is even the case with it seeming to be less of an issue in the GLBT community, perhaps people who are more sexually open have less qualms and stereotypes? Especially because society seems to say only young women are attractive (while men seem to not have the same pressure to be young) I've straight up had people say older women are gross, not sexually attractive, etc. Even my wife jokes that I'm such a good self confidence boost. She's 56 and I still think she's the sexiest woman on earth. less
10/09/2014
Quote:
beautifully put!
Originally posted by
Vagiscrumptious
Wow, that was even longer than I realized. So long story short, clearly things work for you and your hubby just as they do for my wife and me so the answer to your question is no, it's not too big of an age difference. Might be for some people
...
more
Wow, that was even longer than I realized. So long story short, clearly things work for you and your hubby just as they do for my wife and me so the answer to your question is no, it's not too big of an age difference. Might be for some people but if its working for you and your relationship has lasted, and you love each other, have good communication, fight for and work on your relationship and value it, then age isn't an issue. Cliche and all, love is definitely (age) blind.
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10/10/2014
I don't think it's a big deal 16 years apart!
11/29/2014
I'd say for some people but if it is working for you then who cares! When you are younger, it makes a big difference. Once you get a little bit of life experience and older, it doesn't matter as long as it is working for the both of you.
11/29/2014
No way! My husband and I are 20 yrs apart! enjoy it if you're happy!!
12/01/2014
Quote:
To be honest, yeah it's a bit much. Or at least it was. Now that you're older the age difference isn't as big of a deal. It could cause issues later in life when he's "over the hill" and age differences start to have more of a toll on what you do together, but that's a different matter.
Originally posted by
Irish Fyre Queen
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep,
...
more
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
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I'm not going to sugar coat it - a 19 year old with a 35 year old in a relationship is a bit creepy. I'm a little older than 19, and if one of my friends started seeing a 35 year old I would be at least a little concerned.
Obviously it's your life and I'm not going to tell you what to think or feel, but this is my opinion on the matter.
I'm glad it's worked out for you.
03/16/2015
Quote:
It really doesn't matter. My girlfriend is 23 and I just turned 37. If your happy and don't see it being a problem in the future then just enjoy it.
Originally posted by
Irish Fyre Queen
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep,
...
more
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
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03/17/2015
Depends on the situation, I think. Maturity level (real, not perceived) is super important. Both partners should feel like they have control of their own actions and happiness. If it's right, it's right.
03/21/2015
Quote:
I said "yes" but that's just for me personally. But different things work for different people.
Originally posted by
Irish Fyre Queen
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep,
...
more
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
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04/02/2015
Quote:
I've been married 2x. The first (ex) husband is 15 years older (and I was only in my early 20's) and the second (ex)husband is 8 years older. For me, the bigger age difference would have probably ended up being a problem, had we not had the other issues that ended our marriage.
Originally posted by
Irish Fyre Queen
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep,
...
more
So, my husband is 16 years my senior. I was 19 and he was 35 when we started seeing each other. I don't see an issue with it but my husband says "I can't think of myself at 16 years old looking into baby carriages and thinking 'yep, you're gonna be mine'" Lol. I'm now 30 and he's 46. So, is 16 years too much?
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When I hear "age is just a number", I always wonder if that's nit just a justification for those that do or want to be in relationships or date someone much older or younger than them.
For me, personally, I think I will stick to my "10 years on either side of my age" rule. (I'm 46.) I look 10-15 years younger than I am, but I have no interest in being a "cougar experience". I've seen female friends go through this headache.
But..... in the end..... I don't care what other people do, as long as it's consensual and they know the "risks" of being involved with someone that's much younger or older. If it works for them.... fine!
04/11/2015
Total posts: 36
Unique posters: 33
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