I am a mom for ten months now, and I couldn't be happier. But my sex life... meh. We used to have so much fun in the bedroom with my hubby - we were wild! But now I'm not so in tune with my mom bod, and I feel like my libido has dropped. My husband feels my concerns, he tries to help, but I know that I have to do something for myself to set this right.

I felt like the best place to start is to become nice and tight for my hubby once again. It's not that I'm "hangin' loose," of course, but not my best shape, definitely. So I thought - Kegel exercisers for me! Heard a lot of positive things about the balls, read a few articles and have an overall positive feeling about this type of workout.



But have absolutely no idea where to start. How to choose the ones I need? I heard they differ in weight - what's up with that? I saw different sets of Ben Wa Balls or Kegel balls - some are in singles, others are in twos or threes. There are conjoint and separate options, vibrating and not... Which are the best for my purposes? Are there beginner options?

More than a bit confused here and would be extremely grateful for any advice/experience! less

I know you want a female perspective - but I'll offer a male point of view.

My wife - like most women I've known seem to believe if their bodies are not perfectly toned and proportioned - the men in their lives could not possibly be attracted to them.

I spent 20 years trying to convince my wife that I love her - and very sexually attracted to her because of who she is - not what she looks like.

She gets it now. If you want a happy husband:

Be confident - lingerie or just your birthday suit - strut your stuff

Be assertive - don't make him responsible for making the first move

Be kinky - always try new stuff. The two of you will be doing this for a long time - and nothing kills excitement like predictable repetition

Make having sex play time - not heavy romantic sessions that end up being disappointing

Take risks - laugh at your foibles - for example; when that whipped cream thing doesn't quite work out Or when your kid stumbles on to your stash of toys! Now there's a red faced moment for you!

The best of luck to you and your very lucky husband less