MarriedWithSexToys,
That Bare As You Dare Harness may look very good on your wife, but be aware that looks aren't everything! A strap-on harness is a very functional item, and above all else, must be able to perform. Traditionally, those thong type harnesses (especially one as THIN as that one) lack stability and control, compared to many of their counterparts, which could potentially be quite frustrating for beginners. Additionally, for your wife's sake, I can't imagine that single tiny strap running between her legs is going to be comfortable! Think of the continual repeated thrusting motion, and that thin strap rubbing against her skin in both front and back! Depending on how it fits her, that could put a quick end to your sessions.

For these reasons, many beginners start with a harness more akin to the second one that spicywife linked for you... especially because of price. They are really cheap, but generally tend to offer you more support and stability, and have individual leg openings, so there's nothing running up between the legs (also leaving that area open and available for other play.

If you really don't want one of those, there are definitely some GREAT higher end leather harnesses that will give you the look you want, while providing the BEST of stability and control, and can come in everything from thong styles with an open crotch, to full bikinis. These are fantastic harnesses, but be prepared to pay for them, as they are substantially more expensive than the other types referenced here.

As for dildos, it all depends on your preferences, and what you enjoy. I always recommend 100% silicone dildos, and my wife and I LOOOOOOVE Tantus products. We started with the silk line. All of these are 100% silicone, and are incredibly smooth, and have an appropriate firmness to them. The Small Silk might be a good dildo as an intro to anal play, but it quite short, so not the greatest choice for harness play, as it is prone to popping out. Once you are a little more comfortable with anal play, and can start to relax and take something bigger, a good beginner dildo is the Silk Medium. Pretty good length, and still sized more toward a beginner at 1 1/4" diameter. Or if your already comfortable with anal play, and just looking to expand into pegging, feel free to dive right in with larger dildos and curved dildos designed to stimulate the prostate. We also have the Silk Large (which is definitely larger than the 1 1/4" diameter listed in the details, so be aware of that), which is nice, and definitely gives a full feeling. We've also heard tons of recommendations (in no particular order) for The Leo and The Mistress by Vixen Creations, as well as O2 Revolution, O2 Niagara, and The Squirt all by Tantus. Tantus also recently released The Curve which looks promising, and has received some good reviews so far. These are just a few of the choices available... we haven't even breached the subject of double-ended "harness free" dildos which give her clit stim while she thrusts... but since you asked about harnesses in particular, I'll stop here on that topic.

There's definitely a ton of options out there, but in the end, it all boils down to what the two of you really want out of a strap on experience. less

And also the straps do not rub against you in an uncomfortable way. You might want to check out my review, since you haven't tried that particular harness.

The strap that runs near the crotch only rubs lightly against the clitoris which provides stimulations. Secondly, the strap in the back (the thong strap) does not irritate at all.

Everyone may have different experiences, but we found that harness to be very comfortable and great for us (we were beginners).

I don't mean to be rude but I think that you were being helpful but you were talking about an item that you hadn't actually used so you were making assumptions that may not be applicable. less

Spicywife,
Thanks for the additional info. Let me just clarify that I was not putting that particular harness down, because as you said, I don't have experience with it. I was merely pointing out potential downfalls that many people experience with that STYLE of harness. That's why I made sure to specifically write things like "TRADITIONALLY, THONG TYPE HARNESSES...", and "COULD POTENTIALLY...", and "DEPENDING ON HOW IT FITS HER..." All the issues I discussed are valid concerns, but as you said they don't effect everyone, and are not an issue with EVERY harness of that style. I just want the original poster to think about issues like that, that may not have crossed his mind before. I in no way meant to put down that particular harness though. less

I understand. I misinterpreted your intial comment. It seemd like you were implying that it just wasn't a good harness period. One of the reasons that I chose it was that we were just getting into pegging and wanted to be sure that it was something that we would enjoy doing, so we didn't want to invest a lot of money. But I am really pleased with it, though I do want to try another style harness sometime to compare it to.

And yes, I am sure it's not for everyone! less

There are two things about the Latigo Leather that I like:

It's inexpensive enough to where you can move on if you like, or you can stop if you decide you don't like (pegging), but it's good enough (and flexible enough) to where you don't have to - I (we) have both the Latigo and Aslan Wonder Woman, and while the Aslan is very nice I would be just fine with only the Latigo Leather. Indeed, in some ways the Latigo Leather can be more comfortable (it breathes better than a vinyl harness, and the adjustments are very easy. It's also more comfortable for me to wear). less