When buying your first strap on.. should you go cheap or go expensive?

Contributor: jursa008 jursa008
When looking to make your first didlo purchase, would you suggest going all out and buying the expensive one that you think you want? Or would you go cheap so that you can figure out what it is exactly that you are looking for in a strap on?
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Total votes: 88 (87 voters)
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10/14/2010
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Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
Are you talking about the actual strap on, or the dildo that is going inside of it. They are two different things and your post isn't exactly clear.

Either way I'd say go with something that is quality. Just because it is inexpensive doesn't mean that it isn't a good quality.
10/15/2010
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
I agree with titsmcscandal, buy a quality harness and dildo. Buy a silicone dildo of decent quality, and a reasonably decent harness. For a beginner harness I recommend the sportsheets harnesses, with a Tantus or Vixen dildo (though the grrl toyz silicone strap on dong looks like it'd be nice as well.

Also are you going to be using this toy to penetrate someone vaginally or anally? Because that makes a difference
10/15/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
#1: make sure that anal play is something you like as a couple (assuming long-term here, short term is different).

#2: Get a decent quality harness that works with multiple dildos. You don't need to get a Jaguar or Outlaw Leather model (though they're nice), but do get one that's adjustable and comfortable.

#3: Get a decent silicone dildo. As you get used to pegging you'll probably want to change the dildo a bit, and that's why you want a good harness that will work for multiple dildos. A smooth surface and middle-small diameter (1-1/4" or so) dildo with 5-1/2" or more of insertable length is good to start with. As you get more comfortable you can move up to a VixSkin, but start small so you can get used to it and learn how to relax. If you're an "anal pro" you can use a favorite dildo or get a bigger one, but don't let your eyes be too much bigger than your other end.
10/15/2010
Contributor: Dante Blaize Dante Blaize
I just went for it and got the Jaguar Harness and Mustang Dildo. I would never go back on that decision, though at the time it cost me an arm and a leg. But I gained an amazing dick that has provided hours and hours of pleasurable entertainment. That is priceless.
10/16/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Dante Blaize
I just went for it and got the Jaguar Harness and Mustang Dildo. I would never go back on that decision, though at the time it cost me an arm and a leg. But I gained an amazing dick that has provided hours and hours of pleasurable entertainment. That ... more
And you aren't going to feel the need to rush out and buy something better, or wonder why harness play is so well liked since "it's so uncomfortable".

You don't need to get top of the line, just good - and a la carte is always in style so you get exactly what you want.
10/17/2010
Contributor: kermi91 kermi91
I prefer to always go with exactly what I want, which usually means a la carte! That way you can get the harness style that you prefer and the dildo you want. There's nothing worse than having a great dildo with a horrible harness or great harness and too small dildo. Size wise, it can be tricky the first time around but go with what you are drawn to. I try not to consider price as much as I consider material, shape and design. If that means I have to pay more for what I want, so be it. I'd rather know it's quality and matches my standards!
10/20/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Buy good quality, and the one you want. You're most likely going to regret it if you don't.
10/20/2010
Contributor: clp clp
I voted 'settle in the middle', but I'd rather it say 'just take the plunge!'
Of course, if you can afford to jump into an expensive, quality harness from the get-go, by all means, do so. I do understand having a hesitancy, though, not being sure which one or how or when or what about this or that... all those questions can have you wait until you have the answers, meaning you may wait forever. Just jump in. You can always get another one (thats the fun of collecting!).
10/22/2010
Contributor: Mr. E Mr. E
Read the reviews and then choose the highest quality harness that meets your needs within your budget. I'd also recommend selecting a silicone dildo to go with it.
10/24/2010
Contributor: klovesatai klovesatai
I went the middle route and bought a kit for my first harness--the Flame kit. Bad choice! I had no clue what size dildo I wanted and ended up with a quality dildo that is a touch too big and too long. It has a larger head which sounded great too (right??!!) but that ended up being too much for us, a couple new to dildo + vajayjay. Now I know the exact measurements that I want in a dildo.

And the harness that I bought was crap--don't get me started there. So now I'm glad that I didn't pay $100+...of course, now I'm looking for a better harness. But I still don't want to pay an arm and a leg for it
10/27/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
It depends. Do you KNOW that you will enjoy it? In that case, go all out and get highest quality. But if you don't KNOW what you want, how you want it, and if you'll like it, then settle for something in between of an average quality.
10/27/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
It depends. Do you KNOW that you will enjoy it? In that case, go all out and get highest quality. But if you don't KNOW what you want, how you want it, and if you'll like it, then settle for something in between of an average quality.
I'd say start off with a dildo and a hand if you're not sure. You can hold it "in position" and practice that way if you're going to be the giver, or you can use it in the "normal way" if you're going to be the getter. If you like the feelings then move on to choosing a harness.

If you're going to be the getter and take it anally then I'd recommend a first step of playing with fingers to see if you like anal stimulation.
10/28/2010
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
I say buy good quality, it will save you money in the long run is my theory.
11/04/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
You need to figure out what is important to you. Perhaps VixSkin or O2 isn't important right now, and in that case you can go with a less-expensive dildo (I still strongly recommend silicone), but you should always go with quality. A poorly designed or built harness will make the experience uncomfortable or difficult, and a improper dildo can as well (but it isn't quite as guaranteed as with the bad harness).
11/05/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Not cheap, but not holy-crap expensive. Go in the middle. Something that's affordable but has good reviews. We bought this really shitty one for our first one, and while it was fun to do, it also was jelly and hurt him which turned him off of it for awhile. I recommend getting something in the middle which will work well, but until you both know it's a turn-on, will save you some money in case you decide it isn't for you.

(Same as I'd never recommend going out and purchasing a $200 professionally-weighte d flogger if you've never flogged someone. Go with the $40 well-made-but-not-perf ect flogger until you know it's your kink.)
11/06/2010
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I'm so glad you made this post, because this is something that I've been wondering myself. I'm not sure if my husband and I will 'love' this or not (though we're both interested), and I think we're going to get something in the middle, so that if we don't like it, we didn't waste a lot of money. And if we DO love it, it won't be one of the super cheap ones.
11/21/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I would suggest thoroughly reading the reviews on the ones that you are interested in, and then a couple you are kind of interested in.... sometimes the reviews will change your mind completely on one or the other.
11/21/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
If you do not know what size you can handle, go cheap or mid range.

But if you know what you can handle and really want that toy...go for it.
11/22/2010
Contributor: Porfiriato Porfiriato
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
I'd say start off with a dildo and a hand if you're not sure. You can hold it "in position" and practice that way if you're going to be the giver, or you can use it in the "normal way" if you're going to be the ... more
I hink these two posts are great advice. I makes a world of difference if you will be using the harness for vaginal penetration or anal. In either case, I agree with ScottA, start off with other toys until you get a feel for the experience. If you enjoy it and know you would love the experience of a strap on, then there's no reason not to buy a quality harness matched with a silicone dildo. Just be sure to get the size right
12/02/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Fingers are great for size-checking, at least for width.
12/02/2010
Contributor: TexasBrat TexasBrat
OK, I didn't read the other responses before responding, so if I repeat, please bear with me....

We have 4 harnesses, and 2 double ended dongs.

Our first was a double ended one, and it was the Feeldoe, which is a little over $100, but it was what he wanted to try, and since it was HIS idea, for being inside of HIM, it was worth the risk. Besides, if he didn't like it, I could use it as a dildo!

I would suggest that, if you are going to get one, let money be no object. You can find good double dongs, or strap ons for under $50.

However, let me say that simple is better. Don't try to go for one with a remote, or corded bullet, because those are more expensive, and they also add a degree of difficulty for a first-time user. Get the feel for them (which, BTW, I didn't think it would be, but I felt powerful AND sexy the first time I put mine on)!

My first harness/strap on was called the Double Delight. And it's very comfy, adjustable, and we both liked it a lot. It's still our "ole faithful". And it was under $50.
12/03/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by TexasBrat
OK, I didn't read the other responses before responding, so if I repeat, please bear with me....

We have 4 harnesses, and 2 double ended dongs.

Our first was a double ended one, and it was the Feeldoe, which is a little over $100, ... more
I'd say the Feeldoe probably isn't the best first dildo, because of the stiff silicone and curve. It took a bit of experimentation to find the positions that work for me, and I'm glad I wasn't doing that while fumbling around trying to learn pegging (don't know how you're going to use this harness, but this is my story). I'd say go for a softer dildo to start with - if you like a double the Vixen Nexus dildos are nice, or if you want a strapless the Fun Factory Share.

If you're going anal get one smooth for a starter, otherwise get one that you think you'd really like when used alone.
12/05/2010
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
Go for something in the middle. You may not end up liking what you thought you would at first, and then you're stuck saving up for the next toy instead of going out and already looking for something you'd enjoy a bit more.
12/05/2010
Contributor: sarki sarki
I would go for something that was middle of the road in $
06/01/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I say go with something you'll see yourself being happy with down the road.
06/01/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by jursa008
When looking to make your first didlo purchase, would you suggest going all out and buying the expensive one that you think you want? Or would you go cheap so that you can figure out what it is exactly that you are looking for in a strap on?
Godfella
06/02/2011
Contributor: ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
Quote:
Originally posted by jursa008
When looking to make your first didlo purchase, would you suggest going all out and buying the expensive one that you think you want? Or would you go cheap so that you can figure out what it is exactly that you are looking for in a strap on?
Might as well get the one you really want even if it is more.
06/05/2011
Contributor: stlouisxxx stlouisxxx
A cheap harness could be a turnoff for a variety of reasons. A more expensive harness will probably more enjoyable for both. Buy it once & buy it for life. Why spend 50% of a very nice harness & then spend twice as much on another?
06/05/2011
Contributor: Spilock Spilock
I also recommend going in the middle. We settled for an in between harness/dildo combo (the Bend Over Beginner Kit) and it helped us decide that it was definitely something we liked. The harness was decent enough that we can re-use it, should we should choose to buy something better, such as the Realdoe.
06/06/2011