The New Intimacy

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Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Hi all!

First of all, sorry about the title. My computer had a minor glitch and published it while I was trying to fix it. It's *Supposed* to say: "Let's Be more Sex Positive!" ...

Alright, I have a bit of a complaint to make about some of the comments made by some of our fellow Eden-ers. When I read some of the lingerie reviews (and some parts of the Community Forum), I find that some reviewers will say comments like "Well, I'm not built like a stick, so..." or I read something about the models saying, "We're not all built like beanstalks, and...". My personal favorite is when someone sees a thinner person and comments: "Look at them, they need to be fed a sandwich." Personally, I feel these comments are rude and don't contribute to a sex positive environment.

As someone who is on thin side, I already have heard these kinds of names/ comments/ etc throughout my life, and I feel uncomfortable reading this on Eden. If possible, I would prefer that if reviewers needed to bring up size, they do so in a way that is courteous and polite to all. I never, ever make negative comments about different sized people, and I would ask that you guys do the same for everyone else.

In the end, we are all beautiful and I think it would be important to bear that in mind before we say something that isn't contributing to Eden's awesome environment.

Thanks guys!
09/18/2011
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I, too, have had those types of comments thrown at me and heaven forbid these same people actually watch me eat like I'm on display at the MoMA or something...then I get comments like "damn, where do you put it all?". It's frustrating and makes me feel like people are policing my nutrition habits. At least no one has accused me of having an eating disorder, at least not to my face at any rate.

I haven't seen comments like this on reviews, but I have seen other negative comments in reviews about a certain class of person or what have you. It's not acceptable in any form. However, you've asked that people don't use comments like this but you didn't really provide any alternatives.

What would you prefer be used in reference to a thinner person or a heavier person? I personally prefer "petite" instead of short and slim.
09/18/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
yes! I didn't think of alternatives, but that's probably a great idea (can you tell I just woke up? haha)

I personally like the word petite myself; I also like the word slight, but that might be a personal preference; others might not like that word so much. if anyone has more suggestions, list them!
09/18/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
That is not right, to say "well I am not built like a bean stock." I know I would not like it if some one said "well I am not shaped like a cow" Or something in the reverse. All people would have to say is this sizing would not work for me. And that would be the end of it. Yes Cheers to being more positive!
09/18/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
I agree, I try to say things like "I've got a bit much curve for this" or "This would look stunning on someone a bit rounder in the bottom" because I feel it's more helpful to people and less offensive. Saying "I have a 42" hip and this would look better on someone less bottom heavy" will help people make an informed decision than saying "This is for people that look like a rail."

Great topic!
09/18/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
That is not right, to say "well I am not built like a bean stock." I know I would not like it if some one said "well I am not shaped like a cow" Or something in the reverse. All people would have to say is this sizing would not ... more
Exactly. There's no reason to mention other people's size at all.
09/18/2011
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I agree, I try to say things like "I've got a bit much curve for this" or "This would look stunning on someone a bit rounder in the bottom" because I feel it's more helpful to people and less offensive. Saying "I have ... more
I agree with this. I find the most helpful reviews are the ones that mention actual sizes or measurements instead of "I'm not a rail" comments. Not only can it be offensive to smaller girls, but it's relative so what could be "rail" to some might be considered average to others. I'm a size 4/6 myself and depending on who is talking to me I either get called way to skinny or average so I never know where I fall on the spectrum.
09/18/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
I have a definite hourglass figure and get so many comments on my big bust that it is unbelievable! I have been asked if I had ribs removed, implants and fat added to my butt. No, I am all real, just a bit soft from muscle tone loss after my car accident. I still turn a few heads and get compliments. I do not understand people, they have issues as well and are just not thinking of how their 'harmless or meaningless' comments can hurt another person.
09/18/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I used to be a size 2 about six years back, and I was proud of it, I really don't care if others think I'm a bit skinny. Right now I'm somewhere between a size 4 or 6, depending on the clothing line, and I miss my size 2 days. We all have different body shapes and sizes, and we should be comfortable about our own figure, we shouldn't be affected by what others indirectly or directly say about it. Sometimes there might be those who are actually jealous of others, and remark with something hurtful to hide their resentment, when they cannot achieve what others can.
09/18/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I have a definite hourglass figure and get so many comments on my big bust that it is unbelievable! I have been asked if I had ribs removed, implants and fat added to my butt. No, I am all real, just a bit soft from muscle tone loss after my car ... more
Exactly. it can be a bit frustrating especially if you have to hear this often. My boss would ask me if i was feeding myself and I was of course, kind of appalled just because that's incredibly freakin' rude. I think commenting on sizes and shapes (anywhere, not just Eden) should be kept to a minimum, unless it's something like a compliment or positive in nature. Otherwise, not necessary to be said aloud.
09/18/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I agree, I try to say things like "I've got a bit much curve for this" or "This would look stunning on someone a bit rounder in the bottom" because I feel it's more helpful to people and less offensive. Saying "I have ... more
I like this a lot! it's so much more objective and people do have a better understanding what will work for them and what won't. awesome idea
09/18/2011