I find it easy to balance function and fact in my reviews. I will say if a toy is better for internal or external, etc, how I found it most useful in my usage (On one review, I noticed particular movement patterns I found useful with a clitoral toy) but I try to avoid erotic description.

I will attempt to clarify this through example.
Normal description: I find this toy to be amazing for G-spot stimulation, though it is probably best for people who already know what they like and how to find their G-spot as opposed to those who are new to G-spot play. This toy can be used for clitoral stimulation as well, and the broad and deep vibrations will make it easy to target your clitoris, despite not having the pinpoint control of a bullet.

Erotic Description: Oh god, I just can't stop fucking myself with this toy. I love how it pounds into my G spot over and over again! it makes me squirt like CRAZY. I just get all lubed up and go to town! I take it in the shower and shove it into my snatch, and its so strong, you can even rub your clit with it. I just can't stop CUMMING back to this toy, hehe.

Too Much Information Description: I got this toy in the mail, and I just couldn't wait for everyone to leave the house! With hubby at work, and the 2 year old FINALLY put to bed, I dove into bed and got all set up- only to be interrupted by a phone call from my boss!...

The last two are exaggerated, but I have seen all of these traits in reviews. one 'TMI' review even mentioned the girl lying to her mother about what she got in the mail, insisting it was a sweater, and then hiding the hole in the sweater she happened to be wearing. While it may be a cute touch to me, seeing as the reviewer was being erotic just a few sentences before, somehow I did not want to think of her talking to her mom and having to hide things from her- It makes me feel like the reviewer is underage when they mention (constantly, in reviews) dodging parents and family. I live with family too, but you know, they get over it. I am of age and they will deal with my choices.

About being super erotic, I just can only handle so many "juicy pussy"s and "throbbing clit" phrases in one day, and it gets annoying when the review is like "oh yeah it vibrates and takes some batteries NOW LETS GET TO THE SEX". That tells me nothing. I don't mind hearing "It works best with G spot stimulation and can also be used on the clit- the sleeves provided can provide more texture for clitoral stimulation" or even "It feels especially nice here/if you use it in this way" I often use these phrases and examples in my reviews since as a reviewer I feel it is my duty to represent the toy I myself am reviewing- some toys can be hard to figure out, or people will look for new ways to use them, as well, some toys aren't good for their intended purpose, but are excellent for other purposes, or some vibrators or toys can be dual purpose. Due to this I think some info is necessary, but when you get into "I thrust it into my sopping wet vagina" land, you've crossed the line for me, and I usually think it's not useful to me unless there are a LOT of facts and the erotica is ONLY in the experience section.

@SpicyWife - I agree with you completely. A review should NOT read as an erotic novel. I have also read reviews that were too technical. I mean, I do want to know about that aspect, too much of it is just plain boring.

@Darling Dove - thank you for your very thorough response. You gave some very good examples and a couple ideas for me to work with and to keep in mind for future reviews. BTW, your erotic and TMI samples had me giggling for a while there.

Michele and I debate on this sometimes when we're writing, but for me it depends on the kind of review. If it's a Description Review, I don't think personal details have any place at all except in the Experience section unless they're necessary to illustrate a point about the product. In that case they should be kept brief because when I read them I'm looking for facts about the product and little else. On regular reviews, peppering in some erotic details are often entertaining as long as they're not too explicit or excessive.

Alan

These things we review are sex toys, so I'm not going to throw a shoe at someone for mentioning their genitals or for a little gushing over how they love the product. As a partial exception to that statement, Description Reviews should be more reserved in personal commentary, but I feel like they can still get points across while being entertaining and not falling into the super-technical-no-fun -at-all review category.

I also don't need to know every detail of the user's experience with the toy from start to finish. I like it when they highlight what worked and what didn't work. I especially like when they mention other types of toys that work well with the reviewed product.

Erotic statements don't turn me off as long as they are brief and helpful. For instance, if a toy didn't/couldn't bring me to orgasm, but paired with another toy, it did, I'd say that (and I'd find that useful). It's a statement about coming/orgasm, but it doesn't need to be gushy or drawn out. In fact, when reviewers only graze over the usefulness/quality of the toy's function, it bothers me. "This toy provides a pleasant fullness." Okay, great, but did you get off from it? (Of course not every toy is geared toward orgasms.) Sometimes I feel people might shy away from describing their levels of pleasure from a toy because it might be confused with erotica. I'd like to know if you loved / only liked / barely liked / hated a toy. It's ok to use adult words to tell me about your enjoyment of it.

Okay, enough soap box for me. Great thread, TinyTease!

I hate reading reviews that sound like science textbooks. That being said, the review doesn't necessarily need to read like a bodice ripper, either.

I like creative, humorous, yet technical writing. I want to know specifications. I am a consumer. I have my own imagination, and some things that get almost pornographic kinda gross me out. People like to imagine or insert themselves into a situation .....There is voyeuristic and then there is just plain in your face nothing left to the imagination.

I like to know usage, care, materials, length, heft, hygeine, and where I can put it. I like to know about the quality, even comparisons, the texture, the details, the art that went into it, and the science behind it (ie, glass toys and silicone toys of different qualities. When I want to know about an experience, I don't care if the person came 10 million times or did not come at all (some medical conditions pre empt an orgasm..) I want to know if the person felt the quality of the object was worth its price, had durability, and would recommend it to their very best friend.

I'm fine with a little eroticism or some point-blank sexuality. But just like I hate reading (and writing) a reviewer that is completely dry, I hate it when all a review does is read like a personal experience of the toy. "They quivered at the sight of it, they took it out of the box, they slipped it in to their wet cunt, it made them come so hard, BUY IT." I'm sorry, but what does that tell me about the toy?

A good erotic view tends to go through the experience while adding details where necessary. For example, they may describe the feeling of a vibrator on their clit, but they'll go on to describe the various settings of the vibrator, and maybe how each one felt to them personally.