The New Intimacy

Your Call: Should She Live with Her Ex? - from Em and Lo

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Contributor: Em & Lo Em & Lo
Em & Lo
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We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why we like to turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.

I wrote to you about three years ago about how my upstairs neighbor was my ex-bf and that I needed to continue living there for school. Now, at 24, I find myself in a much stickier and more unsavory situation. Same boy and I got back together after that, fell in love, and after getting things to a very healthy and stable place, moved in together about 8 months ago. Now, we just broke up, as our jobs and lives are moving in different directions. I cannot move out until I've found myself an apartment. He can afford the entire rent on his own, once I'm gone. Any tips for weathering the storm? I really want to avoid spending nights at my parents' house or moving back in with them, as I feel super-isolated there. This is my home! Help!

-- Not Home Alone

What should N.H.A. do?
09/28/2011
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Contributor: Vegan Silk Vegan Silk
I live with my ex right now. we broke up about a month ago. It really depends. How amicable was the break up? Do you have 2 rooms in your appt? My ex and I get along pretty wwll. We are both nice people and want to still help each other until he moves in december. We also had a spare room, so we can start living more separately.

We have decided not to talk about any new or potential partners, and not to bring anyone back to the house. We don't want to hurt each other, but we do want to move on.

If you find you are spending a lot of time at home and want to avoid the situation, I suggest finding some things that interest you on meetup.com. that way you can be out and about and meeting new people. it will also help you feel less isolated.

I would avoid having break up sex. you have to be around eachother, no sense making it more awkward than it is already.
09/28/2011