The New Intimacy

Would you date someone that has a child/children from a previous relationship?

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Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Being around children frustrates me because I forget they have an innocence that needs to be protected. I don't know how to explain it other than I have a really hard time treating them like children because i was never treated like a child. From ... more
I like kids, but when I'm with anyone my age, I forget about the innocence too and accidentally say very inappropriate things around them...Then I curse because I accidentally said something horrible, and my cursing doesn't make matters any better. My and my damn mouth..
12/14/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
I like kids, but when I'm with anyone my age, I forget about the innocence too and accidentally say very inappropriate things around them...Then I curse because I accidentally said something horrible, and my cursing doesn't make matters any ... more
Lol. I have two kids, and I do that too. I have gotten better though. Also I think it looks more like a dude with a big nose, beauty mark/mole, and a slightly offput expression.
12/14/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Like most things, it depends. I have one child of my own and would like one or two more of my own children. I want to have another baby at some point, not just help to raise someone else's children. If they were done then I probably wouldn't date them. Like another poster said, if they have a ton of kids all by different people then it might not be a good sign and I'd have to do some serious thinking. Everyone makes mistakes though so it might not necessarily rule them out. I also don't want 5 kids so if they already have three then with my one and my future baby that I'd like that's too many for me. I know my limits. I grew up with 4 siblings in the home so I know what it feels like to be one of five. It isn't all bad but it isn't what I want for my son. He demands a lot of attention and I fear that he'd get somewhat lost in the shuffle.
12/14/2010
Contributor: PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
I like kids, but when I'm with anyone my age, I forget about the innocence too and accidentally say very inappropriate things around them...Then I curse because I accidentally said something horrible, and my cursing doesn't make matters any ... more
I just can't help it! I'm like would you grow up already! And I find myself smashing their Disney-Pretty-Pretty-P rincess fantasies into a million pieces. "Kid, the world doesn't work that way. Stop fooling yourself."

My child would be at level of a 35 year old by the time they were five. Gah. Bad, bad Audra!
12/14/2010
Contributor: the bedroom blogger the bedroom blogger
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Keep in mind, somebody having children wont necessarily prevent you from falling for them.
Indeed.

Ask me this question two years ago, my answer would have been a big ol' HELL NO!

And not because I am a super bitch...I am young and had never planned to start a family in my early twenties.

And then I met the boyfriend. And I didn't want to want to be with him, but I do. And he has a son...and I won't lie...it is so damn hard at times not to be put first. But I wouldn't want anything to do with a father who didn't put his children first.
12/14/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
I actually had 2 daughters from my first marriage. The dating another person part wasn't so hard, because when a person doesn't have to live with kids they seem so cute and perfect. LOL! It was after we were married that was more difficult. Blended families are not easy! We, and the kids, survived, of course. And my daughters are actually closer to my husband than they are to their real dad. But it was a lot of work!
12/14/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I have and will again.
I love kids but doubt any of my own will happen so it doesn't bother me at all if a partner had kids.
12/15/2010
Contributor: Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
i am doing this right now
12/15/2010
Contributor: lemony lemony
I wouldn't right now. Too young to deal with that.
12/17/2010
Contributor: Crystal1 Crystal1
I don't think that I could. I would like my own kid(s) eventually, but there's so much extra drama that goes into joining a pre-made family that just isn't for me.
12/31/2010
Contributor: VenusianThunder VenusianThunder
I would, but I do not want children of my own, so I do not want to be expected to help raise any children if we were to get into something long term. I know that sounds selfish of me, but I am just not very good with kids. I do not have the patience.
01/12/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I wouldn't mind it at all. Things happen and relationships don't work out. I love kids
01/12/2011
Contributor: Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by Kimbertrees
Would you date someone that has a child/children from a previous relationship?
Of course I would. Does it matter?
01/15/2011
Contributor: BluePixi BluePixi
I wouldn't right now but it would be a possibility in the future if it was handled right. The issue for me would be that I am not ready for a serious relationship let alone one with the complications that arise from kids. I would really hate to be introduced to a mans children only to disappear shortly thereafter, not fair to anyone involved IMO.
Then there is the notion I have that if I am with a man and he wants/has kids he better be a damn good dad for them or he isn't much of a man. As someone who was on the kids side of the equation I don't feel money and dinner twice a month is fulfilling parental responsibilities. Getting to know someone as only to have them drop off the face of the earth is pretty cold too.
01/17/2011
Contributor: clp clp
I love him and his kids so so much. It was completely unexpected but I met them with their own little personalities; they weren't a question that could ask a yes or no. I'm still not sure how I will fit into their lives or they into mine but I am very excited to find out.
01/17/2011
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
I don't want children, so I can't imagine myself doing this at any point in my life.
01/17/2011
Contributor: Chevylady37 Chevylady37
Quote:
Originally posted by Kimbertrees
Would you date someone that has a child/children from a previous relationship?
yes and i have before. But i have to know 100% that they don't have feelings for the mom or anything that i will get my heart broke more from.
01/18/2011
Contributor: A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
Yes, and I'm dating a father now)) and the kid is sweet)
01/18/2011
Contributor: Ellie B Ellie B
I've tried it and it never works. I don't want children, so I don't really see the point if my goal is to find a long-term partner. I also (selfishly) don't like having to cater our dating schedule around the child. There's little spontaneous activity in this sort of relationship (for me, of course). I will give props to all of the single dads out there, trying to make it work. There are plenty of women for them out there!
01/19/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Kimbertrees
Would you date someone that has a child/children from a previous relationship?
NO I don't think I would ever do it...
01/19/2011
Contributor: tits only tits only
All the men I dated had kids. I hate baby mom drama the kids are not the problem.
01/20/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Yes, but probably not if they were a teenage child. That's a high tension situation to get into, you know?
01/20/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
No, kids freak me out! Maybe when I'm older.
01/25/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I'm not currently on the market (I'm in a committed, long term relationship), but I wouldn't have a problem with dating someone with a kid or kids. The older we get, the more likely it is that we'll have one or more little ones in tow, so I wouldn't have a problem with it.
01/26/2011
Contributor: CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
I'm married, so this doesn't really apply to me. But at this point in my life if I was single and met a great woman with children, then you bet that I wouldn't let that stop the relationship. Kids can be fun when they aren't yours, you can act like a kid with them and not worry about being a father figure, you just have fun.
02/02/2011
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
I voted no since I don't what kids, I'm not read to be a parent/ parental figure and I'm pretty sure I would be bad at it.

Also, right now even if I wanted kids, I have too much other stuff going on.
02/15/2011
Contributor: KikiChrome KikiChrome
Originally I would have said "hell no" to this question... but then I dated a guy who had a daughter, and I really enjoyed it. I didn't think that kids were for me, but it surprised me how attached I got.

Now that I'm in my 30s, most of the people my age have children. In some ways, I almost see it as a "plus" that I can meet someone who has been around the track a few times, just like me. I like to get to know someone (which involves a bit of alone-time), but I would never expect to be the first priority when a guy has children. If he's placing me before his kids, then I'd actually lose respect for him.

The worst part is, definitely, the kids getting attached to you and you getting attached to the kids (especially when the relationship is doomed to failure). That's very rough on everyone involved.
02/15/2011
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I wouldn't because children are not part of my plan for my life.
02/15/2011
Contributor: slynch slynch
I had 2 kids from my first marriage when I met my current wife. We've been together over 10 years.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Taylor Von Taylor Von
I didn't want kids. Well, now I have a 6 year old and inherited 2 more little ones. I like the way it has worked out so far. I have 50 50 custody with my baby daddy, so I have full 7days then he gets her the next week, and back and forth. His kids live with their mother and see them on the weeks I have my child. So we have a full week of not having to 'hide' anything around the house and can have sex whenever, wherever we want.

The baby momma is the biggest problem!
02/21/2011