The New Intimacy

Where would you look if you were me?

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Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
So I'm out and dating again. I officially went out on my first date with a new guy since my last relationship ended this past Saturday night. Now while he's handsome, perfectly nice, and well off to boot, he's quite honestly a little boring and there was just no spark. I don't mind though - it got me out of the house and it showed me I'm more than ready to get back out there.

Now here's the thing...I don't know where to find people! My social circle is fairly small so I don't have a lot of opportunities to meet new people through people I know. I tend to like mid 40's blue collar, meat and potatoes kind of men. Tall, strong, and a little rough around the edges. I tend to like the biker or mechanic type most of the time. I'm generally not suited for white collar men that are addicted to Droids and Iphones and tend to be a little...prettier? LOL. Nothing against those men at all, they just usually aren't the ones I hit it off with. So if you were me, where would you be looking? Most of the ones I want are not online. They don't tend to be super computer oriented. There's only one biker bar near me and it's kind of out of the way. Do I start hanging out at Home Depot? Cruising the grocery stores? What would my EF friends recommend??
10/24/2011
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Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Go where the men you're looking for would hang out. Join a group that would facilitate a shared interest between you and the type of men you're looking for, like, say, if you're interested in cars, maybe start going to classic car shows. It's a good place to meet mechanics. And you'd be surprised at the overwhelming variety of people you meet at wineries, so if you have any local wineries, maybe become a regular.
10/24/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Tori, I'm glad you're dating again.

Have you considered dating websites? Some are weird, I know. But, I know at least two couples in my own circle who met on a dating site and are now married. (One couple recently had their first child, after both of them swore they were "child-free" for most of their adult lives!)

It's a good place to start and not as scary as bars and stuff.

Good luck. I'm glad you're getting out there.
10/24/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Go where the men you're looking for would hang out. Join a group that would facilitate a shared interest between you and the type of men you're looking for, like, say, if you're interested in cars, maybe start going to classic car shows. ... more
I did the car show thing over the summer. There are quite a few here. Unfortunately at the time I really wasn't ready, it was just a way to get out of the house because it's an interest of mine. It's getting too cool here now for car shows but if I'm still looking come spring (which I hope I won't), that will be one of my first stops!
10/24/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Tori, I'm glad you're dating again.

Have you considered dating websites? Some are weird, I know. But, I know at least two couples in my own circle who met on a dating site and are now married. (One couple recently had their first ... more
Thanks P'Gell! I'm having fun. You were right, as usual, and time did its trick.

Unfortunately a lot of the guys in the demographic I'm looking for aren't computer guys. Some are, and it's where I met the very nice man that I went out with this past weekend. I have no issue with it, it's just that I think I'm really limiting myself there. I've actually signed up on what seems to be the facebook of the biker community and while I'm meeting new friends there (that maybe can hook me up with their friends in the future?) I'm not finding any great prospects just yet.
10/24/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
Have you tried a place like Meetup.com? You could search for the interests that fit your type of guy and see where people who like that thing are getting together. I know you said your type isn't generally computer crazy, but if one guy brings along his like-minded friends...

I'd say looking up local events, music shows, Meetup gatherings, etc. might give you some ideas on where your type are hanging out.
10/24/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
Glad you are out there again. I really don't think the type of guy you are looking for you will find online. My friends that tried this were sorely disappointed and sadly, blue collar types don't usually represent themselves that way.
Car shows yes and NASCAR races have many guys you might find attractive. Go early and try to hang around the actual car area prior to the race.
All the best! I found my guy when I wasn't actually looking.
10/24/2011