The New Intimacy

Update on being Newely SIngle: How its going

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Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
I did post this as a reply in another post..but I dont see myself getting responses someone needed help then if everyone posts their situation and asks for help..well better to just start a new discussion..

Ok so my Ex and I work together we talk like we are dating sometimes still and I caught myself flirting a little last night. He was my manager..Well he was being too cute and I just wanted to reach over and kiss him..

later that night he got in a bad mood and it really upset me I felt he was talking to me like I was a piece of shit...I said "I dont talk to you like your a piece of shit" that comment semmed to put him in a worse mood it was like when the time came my shift was up I said can I go home now? he said yea like hurry up and get the fuck out of here go away.

Between stuff like that at work and being ill with severe digestive problems..sleep everynight is a battle I get more tired because the illness is tiring and my job is demanding...what the heck should I do? Im thinking just plug my ipod in and focus hard on work and block everyone out and music makes me happy..so I can be silent hard working and happy I guess.
10/05/2011
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Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Um. If I were you, I'd find a new job. However, even if you decide to/have to keep your current job, it might be time to create some BOUNDARIES. Even if you previously had a relationship with him (or even have one now), work is not the place to flirt, and it certainly it's appropriate for the manager to "talk to you like you're a piece of shit" and vice versa.

So, in this case, I would stop your current inflammatory behavior and make it clear you are interested in working rather than dredging up old feelings, and that he should do the same.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Um. If I were you, I'd find a new job. However, even if you decide to/have to keep your current job, it might be time to create some BOUNDARIES. Even if you previously had a relationship with him (or even have one now), work is not the place to ... more
I 100% agree with this. Very good advice.
10/06/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Um. If I were you, I'd find a new job. However, even if you decide to/have to keep your current job, it might be time to create some BOUNDARIES. Even if you previously had a relationship with him (or even have one now), work is not the place to ... more
I also 100% agree with this.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Um. If I were you, I'd find a new job. However, even if you decide to/have to keep your current job, it might be time to create some BOUNDARIES. Even if you previously had a relationship with him (or even have one now), work is not the place to ... more
I also agree with this 100%. You can't heal and move on if you're just reliving the past every day.
10/06/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Um. If I were you, I'd find a new job. However, even if you decide to/have to keep your current job, it might be time to create some BOUNDARIES. Even if you previously had a relationship with him (or even have one now), work is not the place to ... more
well you see we live in a really busy environment right next to ppl so ppl work while talking or they get super bored who wants to only think or say something about double cheeese or make some more nuggets? If we are talking about appropriate things but the tone is a little flirty for a second or you notice how someone how someone just glanced at you...its really nothithing inapropriate
10/06/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I also agree with this 100%. You can't heal and move on if you're just reliving the past every day.
I really want to stay at that job so I'm not going anywhere. If it comes down to it pop my ipod in my ear and d ont talk to ppl or else I get too bored just startin at sandwiches and fries you know you either need work and music or you need to work and talk you need some kind of whats the word stimulation or brain activity.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I got to agree with everyone above; you need to get a new job and get him out of your life. You both won't heal and move on if you're in constant contact with one another. However, since you seem adamant about staying, I'm not sure how you're going to ignore him all the time. From my understanding, customer service requires you to be professional on some level, and having an IPod in your ear all the time doesn't exactly allow professionalism, and to be honest, it's not realistic. And the flirting thing is not good for yourself, him or business.

I honestly have no idea what you should do; maybe you should try to work shifts that you know he's not working? Other than that, I don't know what to tell you
10/06/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
I got to agree with everyone above; you need to get a new job and get him out of your life. You both won't heal and move on if you're in constant contact with one another. However, since you seem adamant about staying, I'm not sure how ... more
I love him and hope to date him again someday. Work is the only place I see him. Well I dont have to talk to him but I i can at least observe if he is in a good mood or not and hear how hes doing..

No managers let me listen to my ipod all I do is cook food dont have to talk to customers thats not part of my job. At the night shift and if u arent dealing with costumers and just cook and clean and u are able to work and hear ppl when they talk to you they dont care
10/07/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Yeah, I agree with most everyone here. See if you can get a transfer to another location or get a new job. You'll want to be proactive on this. If things turn south for you, sexual harassment suits follow and that just ruins everyone's day.

Also, do you think being around that much grease in the fast food could be connected to your stomach issues? I know I have about 20 mins after eating a greasy burger before I have to "have a sit down meeting". My stomach just can't handle the grease.
10/07/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Yeah, I agree with most everyone here. See if you can get a transfer to another location or get a new job. You'll want to be proactive on this. If things turn south for you, sexual harassment suits follow and that just ruins everyone's day. ... more
well I dont eat it...if its an issue then Im the only person there with problems from it many eat there most everyday and they are fine no stomache complaints.

No I'm staying at that store and its the only 1 here...he doesnt harass me and me saying something to him he wouldnt even want to do that to me. One day I asked how my butt looked in my new pants he seemed to like that comment he just smiled and said something about black pants. I dont say anything like that anyhmore that was over a week ago.
10/07/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
What is the point of asking for advice if you are going to consistently refute it? lol

But really, just because you are the "only one" experiencing physical illness related to your work doesn't make it any less real! Inhalation of large quantities of grease can, indeed, make you ill.

I hope it works out for you in both love and tummy health!
10/07/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
What is the point of asking for advice if you are going to consistently refute it? lol

But really, just because you are the "only one" experiencing physical illness related to your work doesn't make it any less real! Inhalation ... more
i know the smells are strong in there and some of them make me GAG...i didnt know I was "inhaling" grease...do I inhale grease from the air or something?
10/08/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
People have different reactions to different things. Something that doesn't make one person sick can make another incredibly ill. IBS is finicky, as well- there are individual triggers. You can watch your diet carefully and take notes on how you feel combined with what you eat and what you're doing, and see if there are noticeable patterns.

As far as your work situation- you've stated repeatedly that you aren't leaving, and that's your decision. I do think that JR has a point about sexual harassment issues, though. It'd be a different situation if your ex was on the same level as you, but as he's your manager, there's a definite conflict of interests there.

Also, keeping the same routines- seeing him all the time, flirting, talking, etc- makes it difficult to move on. You get locked into kind of an inbetween, where you aren't dating, but you don't have enough space to really feel like you're not dating. That kind of situation can lead to huge messes later down the line.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
I'd definitely find a new job- mixing work and play are usually not a good idea, and this is why.
10/08/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Kkay
People have different reactions to different things. Something that doesn't make one person sick can make another incredibly ill. IBS is finicky, as well- there are individual triggers. You can watch your diet carefully and take notes on how you ... more
well he has been my manager for years and it worked everyone knew we were dating its ok for managers to date a worker there
10/08/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
i know the smells are strong in there and some of them make me GAG...i didnt know I was "inhaling" grease...do I inhale grease from the air or something?
Indeed! You can inhale grease directly from the air. Almost anything can be airborne, including particulate matter from poop, blood, food, etc!
10/08/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Indeed! You can inhale grease directly from the air. Almost anything can be airborne, including particulate matter from poop, blood, food, etc!
10/08/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I know, probably TMI. XD

But good to know, nonetheless.
10/08/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
I know, probably TMI. XD

But good to know, nonetheless.
well I just wont think about it my concern is getting enough sleep tonight and dealing with my illness and getting well so my ex boyfriend will look at me again I know he misses me but he isnt going to wait around in life for me to be healthy again...he said if we were both single he would date me again if things changed alot Work is a drag especially since its hot,demanding and smelly and being sick all the time..well its real hard
10/08/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Kkay
People have different reactions to different things. Something that doesn't make one person sick can make another incredibly ill. IBS is finicky, as well- there are individual triggers. You can watch your diet carefully and take notes on how you ... more
I really love him he droped a BOMB on me today said he wont ever date me agian in a year he is moving to college and wont ever be in this town when I asked if he could ever stop by and say hi to me. Well I will just hope and pray about it. I will wait for hiim for the rest of my life i dont care. If i dated someone else my heart would not be in it anyway its always and will be with him. So I will do my best and hope in the end we are together again. that song by elliot yamin "wait for you" about wait for you the rest of my life thats wat I will do
10/10/2011