The New Intimacy

How many times have you or are you willing to get married to find that special someone?

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Contributor: Chelle Love Chelle Love
Ok I am a 30 yo single mother of 3. I have been married twice and I have been divorced twice. They obviously weren't the guys I originally fell in love with and married at first. And because of this I am unsure of whether to stop looking for or to keep looking for that one special person. So here's my question, given my situation, would you keep looking for that special someone or just stop the heartache and keep to yourself, and why?
08/20/2012
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Contributor: bettle590 bettle590
Quote:
Originally posted by Chelle Love
Ok I am a 30 yo single mother of 3. I have been married twice and I have been divorced twice. They obviously weren't the guys I originally fell in love with and married at first. And because of this I am unsure of whether to stop looking for or ... more
I think most people would say "I only plan on marrying once" with confidence, but it's not something you know from the start. You thought they were that one special person at the time, but you never know what can happen that would make things change.

So basically, I really hope to not have to face this in the future but I think I would keep searching-eventually. It sounds like you need time to heal for a while, but you don't necessarily need to give up hope forever.
08/21/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Therapy, therapy, therapy.

I am once married/once divorced, and I'm noticing a pattern in the men I've been dating or are attracted to since then. It's nothing I want to continue doing, so I'm trying to get my head on straight and establish what I want and need, and to set up boundaries of what I will and will not accept in a lifemate. It may not be as romantic as being "swept off the feet" or "love at first sight", but it's a hell of a lot easier on the heart to go in with eyes wide open and a conscious decision.
08/21/2012
Contributor: Khanner Khanner
Marriage isn't a goal for me. I'm happy to find someone I love, and if they change for the worse, I won't settle.
08/21/2012
Contributor: XxXxX XxXxX
Quote:
Originally posted by Chelle Love
Ok I am a 30 yo single mother of 3. I have been married twice and I have been divorced twice. They obviously weren't the guys I originally fell in love with and married at first. And because of this I am unsure of whether to stop looking for or ... more
Chelle, your only 30 you have time for atleast a few more husbands, hell, if you really try, maybe 5 or 6.

Haha, Just kidding cuz. Husbands sucks and I was done after my first. If I happened to stumble onto that special someone, I might say yes to a marriage, but I am sooooooooooooo not looking. I am enjoying me right now.
08/21/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I have a husband right now, and I have decided that if anything were to happen; I won't be getting married again. There would have to be a mega prince or princess charming to change my mind. I don't want to settle with anyone if anything happens to hubby and I. I want to whore around and I admit it, but I stay faithful to my hubby.
08/21/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
Second marriage, here. They do not get easier, but you do get wiser....with that said, this is it-if something happens I am too damned old to play this game again. I would be happy and mentally healthy living by myself and having fun...with toys or others but a committed relationship--hell no!! However, as we all know, I cannot read the future and never say never, etc. but truely I would just be happy and if you find someone, great if not--be there for yourself.
08/21/2012
Contributor: Chelle Love Chelle Love
Quote:
Originally posted by XxXxX
Chelle, your only 30 you have time for atleast a few more husbands, hell, if you really try, maybe 5 or 6.

Haha, Just kidding cuz. Husbands sucks and I was done after my first. If I happened to stumble onto that special someone, I might say ... more
Haha!!! Get a few online bf's and just roll with it and hope to find a sexy rich soul mate... No time soon though... (LMAO)

Haha... Yes cuz, husbands do suck, at least our choice in them. Damn them "bad boys" and clean cut working men... Wait... That just leaves the perverts... GRRRRRR!!! You can't win in this game of life can you?!?! (LMAO) Nah... I am doing just the same, I love my, drama free, ME TIME... There's nothing better at the moment...

I guess when I wrote this I was having a weak insomnia moment... Haha...
08/30/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Therapy, therapy, therapy.

I am once married/once divorced, and I'm noticing a pattern in the men I've been dating or are attracted to since then. It's nothing I want to continue doing, so I'm trying to get my head on straight ... more
You can be swept off your feet and have love at first sight and still have your eyes wide open making a conscious decision. The difference is whether you believe you deserve to be loved this way and whether you believe that it can happen.

Getting a handle on why you are attracted to men who cannot be what you need is a GIANT step in the right direction, so BRAVO! Deciding what you are looking for and working to become the sort of emotionally available person who can accept the sort of man who is the kind of person you are looking for takes time and self work. I have found that a profound belief that you are capable and worthy of such a person is the real key.
08/30/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Chelle Love
Haha!!! Get a few online bf's and just roll with it and hope to find a sexy rich soul mate... No time soon though... (LMAO)

Haha... Yes cuz, husbands do suck, at least our choice in them. Damn them "bad boys" and clean cut ... more
I dunno I'm still on the first husband...and that was not what I meant you gutter brains! If something should change and Sigel and I divorce I would make an honest man out of Arch. I like being married I just wish it wasn't a one and done sort of deal. I'd DEFINITELY marry them both if I could.

Anyhow, you have had two rough experiences but hell you can and will bounce back. For now enjoy yourself...there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. It's not like with EF's help you can't "love" yourself, right?
08/30/2012