The New Intimacy

how does one initiate a friends with benefits situation?

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Contributor: Vegan Silk Vegan Silk
I've decided I need to get laid. I don't like the idea of hooking up with a stranger. I also would want to have conversations with the person I'm sleeping with, so a friend is a good idea.

I have a friend who I'm definitely not compatible with in terms of a relationship, but I think we'd have great sexual chemistry. However, I don't know how to bring up the topic. We're not very close, we tend to hang out in group situations. is it important to bring it up in person or would a message be ok?

Is there etiquette for this type or relationship?
09/11/2011
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Contributor: Ace <3 Ace <3
Every friend with benefit relationship I've gotten in has turned out bad. One of us got attached or too demanding and controlling or something else. It's a really delicate situation. See if you can bring up the idea of friends with benefits to this guy in general to see if he is okay with it, if he is then continue with the conversation and introduce both of you possibly doing it. If he isn't okay with the situation you might have to find someone else. Sending it in a message is usually easier because we're always afraid of being hurt. But I really think talking in person and bringing it up in conversation is the best route to go.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I am not sure how I would bring it up to someone.

I had a great FWB relationship with someone. He was a friend of a friend, we hung out just me and him and we got it on one night (we were NOT drunk). Then we would make each other booty calls over a certain period of time.

One day I called him for sex and he told me that he was interested in someone and we could no longer hook up. I was a little upset...I had no one to hook with anymore, no more sex, lol.

We were great friends but we were totally different and I could never have dated him. We had lots in common but I never could have gone out with him. He did drugs and he wasn't living the way I wanted to live and planned to live my life.

It started spontaneously, went smoothly, and ended wonderfully. That is my personal experience with FWB. I never had any other FWB after him. Hope my experience could bring you something. I am ot quite sure how I would go about it if I had the intention of starting that type of relationship. It just sort of "hapenned" for me.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I'm pretty direct when it comes to initiating relationships, so your mileage may vary. I would start with a small amount of flirting, a pinch on the butt or a mmm you smell good tonight if we were standing close to each other. Then offer up my number or facebook or whatever address and just start light friendly conversations. If the attraction is mutual the sexual aspect will develop naturally from there. I've found it's not usually very difficult to initiate a sexual overtone when I'm talking to men.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Vegan Silk Vegan Silk
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I am not sure how I would bring it up to someone.

I had a great FWB relationship with someone. He was a friend of a friend, we hung out just me and him and we got it on one night (we were NOT drunk). Then we would make each other booty calls ... more
That sounds really awesome. Most of my flings have been like that. but on a fast forward timescale. I've not felt this overwhelming need for sex in a while, so I'm all flustered, which means I have a hard time of letting things just "happen" at the moment.

But hopefully I'll find some sexy sex soon.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Vegan Silk Vegan Silk
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I'm pretty direct when it comes to initiating relationships, so your mileage may vary. I would start with a small amount of flirting, a pinch on the butt or a mmm you smell good tonight if we were standing close to each other. Then offer up my ... more
I think my danger is coming on too strong too quickly. starting with light convos is probably a good idea.
09/12/2011