The New Intimacy

Fucking My Ex Boyfriend/discreet traveling help

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Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
I love him and always will.

In a year he is going to collage for years 10 hours from here...

His fuck is the only fuck I will accept(besides nice sex toys(

He doesn't want me to bring up our past relationship

He says if he finds someone else during collage he will be happier knowing I moved on.

we aren't dating we are basically just 2 people. (I will
not refer us as friends)

We may go to a movie this week.

He doesn't allow me to hug him or hold his hand.

The time we have left I will fuck him and hope he changes his mind in the future about long distance relationships


We have to have sex in his car at night and I have strong fantasies about being spanked by a certain paddle from EF and one that involves handcuffs and a french maid outfit. I will have to have a bag I can carry these things to work with me as I can't store them in his car should I have a large tote bag then another bag inside..help what do I do? Perhaps provide some links for me?

paddle- link
10/20/2011
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Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Sorry - but you need to get over this guy and move on. How many ways does he need to tell you - you're being used? He wants a fuck-buddy - which is fine it that's what you want. But it sounds like you're holding out for changing his mind - chances are you're a looser here.
10/20/2011
Contributor: Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Sorry - but you need to get over this guy and move on. How many ways does he need to tell you - you're being used? He wants a fuck-buddy - which is fine it that's what you want. But it sounds like you're holding out for changing his mind ... more
I agree with Gunsmoke. As someone who's been in a similar situation, I can tell you, with little doubt, he's over it and using you. This can only end one way; badly.

I know right now it feels like he is your whole world and like you will never love anyone else, but trust me, you will. It will take months, years even, but you will get over him. The sooner you start, the sooner you can stop hinging your feelings on another person's action or inaction. Putting yourself out there like this will only end up making you feel used and foolish in the end. Like I said, I am speaking from personal experience here.

Also, didn't you break up with him?
10/20/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I'm sorry but you're sounding really desperate and I have found from my limited experience that guys might take advantage of a desperate gal but they won't hang onto them.

Do both of yourselves a favor and move on.

In the end - you'll wind up hurting yourself if you keep up this way.
10/20/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Agreed. Let him go and let yourself move on. This is not a healthy situation for you.

Any man who will have sex with you, but won't hug you or hold your hand is not into you - he's using you for sex.
10/20/2011
Contributor: JessCee JessCee
I'm really sorry, but I have to agree with every poster before me. I'd also like to add that if he's using you like it sounds like he is, I highly doubt he is concerned with fulfilling any fantasies *you* have. Also, maybe fulfilling this fantasy in a car may not be the sexiest thing I can think of. He will not change his mind, hun.

Again, I'm really sorry if this sounds harsh, I hope you don't take it that way. I also hope you consider changing your mind about this. If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to message me. I don't know the whole story, but I think I know what you're going through... and I know a few people here on EF that I've gotten rather close to can attest to that!
10/20/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Sorry - but you need to get over this guy and move on. How many ways does he need to tell you - you're being used? He wants a fuck-buddy - which is fine it that's what you want. But it sounds like you're holding out for changing his mind ... more
yes I do want a fuck buddy but I also enjoy hanging out with him. I've always been very desirable to him. He is here for another year so I will make the most of it I love him spanking me and fucking me. Im extremely picky who sleeps with me in fact hes the only one i've allowed in my pants I'm 24 years old tommorow
10/20/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
How can you be desirable to him if he won't hold your hand or hug you?

Sorry but to me that only shows that you aren't desirable to him.
10/20/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
How can you be desirable to him if he won't hold your hand or hug you?

Sorry but to me that only shows that you aren't desirable to him.
I totally agree with TexasMama, doesn't sound like your ex WANTS to have sex with you, please get over your obsession with him and move on. I'm not trying to sound mean, but reading all your posts about your ex make me think you're troubled, maybe you need some counseling to help you get over him.
10/20/2011
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
I totally agree with TexasMama, doesn't sound like your ex WANTS to have sex with you, please get over your obsession with him and move on. I'm not trying to sound mean, but reading all your posts about your ex make me think you're ... more
I second what Rossie said. Your level of what seems to be obsession is sad. Move on. Have more respect for yourself. You are *not* desireable to him if he doesn't hold your hand, etc.

He very obviously doesn't want to be with you, and based off of everything you said, you are holding out hope. Don't. Move on. It is the best thing for you in the long run.

Respect yourself more than that.
10/21/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Sorry - but you need to get over this guy and move on. How many ways does he need to tell you - you're being used? He wants a fuck-buddy - which is fine it that's what you want. But it sounds like you're holding out for changing his mind ... more
I agree with this, even though it probably does suck to hear.... Sorry hun!
10/21/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by TitsMcScandal
I second what Rossie said. Your level of what seems to be obsession is sad. Move on. Have more respect for yourself. You are *not* desireable to him if he doesn't hold your hand, etc.

He very obviously doesn't want to be with you, ... more
Thanks everyone I'm going to focus on myself as a person. I'm going to do things I enjoy and I have so many awesome things I want to purchase. I'm going to work more hours off and on. I have alot of my own things to worry about such as improving my health and I'm in the negative dollars and have a shit ton of work to do in my life especially house chores.

I did however purchase a training program to understand men and woman better and how you can win your ex back. Its basically about focusing on yourself be a strong confident sexy woman do your own thing cut off contact with the ex and reverse the situation so the guy is chasing you in the future. Its not a short term solution it takes work. Live your life do your best and become the irresistible woman he can't live without. It is nice it takes the focus off the past and tells you in depth how to do everything basically look towards the future be the best woman you can if your ex wants you back then by the time he is chasing you and wanting to date again then and there decide yes or no.

I understand both sides I'm really learning to solve my problems and move forward because I see many things I shouldn't have done in the relationship. In the program you take the emotions out and don't go crying and running to your ex its not going to work and if the person does take you back out of pity its not a healthy relationship.

Anyway its called the Ex recovery system I have the all access package then I purchaed a bonus pack It was like $27...Its really helping me in my life

10/21/2011
Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
Sorry he sounds like a jerk.
10/21/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
Thanks everyone I'm going to focus on myself as a person. I'm going to do things I enjoy and I have so many awesome things I want to purchase. I'm going to work more hours off and on. I have alot of my own things to worry about such as ... more
You spent money on a program to win back a douchebag who doesn't care enough about you to even hold your hand, but you have negative dollars in your back account? That makes absolutely no sense to me, at all, whatsoever. Stop watching infomercials and seek support from your friends and family. No program that you read or watch will give you confidence or self-esteem. You have to find that within yourself. All those people who try to sell that stuff are con artists who are making money because your heart is broken.

You can't have sex with someone who you're emotionally attached to and have it be "just sex." Your heart is already involved.

How many times do people have to tell you, "Stop. Walk away. You're just prolonging your pain." before you get it? And if you're not going to take the advice you're given, why do you keep asking for it?
10/25/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I have to agree with BBW (as I usually do). The thing I find most disturbing is that he doesn't allow you to hug him or hold his hand. That means YOU, as a person, a whole body, are not desirable to him, just your vagina is. If your genitals are the only parts of you he's willing to touch, why would you think he desires the rest of you? That's a really cold and offensive way for him to behave. You really need to ask yourself why do you want to be with someone that doesn't want you? He's made it clear he doesn't care for you as a whole person or want a life with you, why would you want someone that thinks and behaves that way? A relationship with someone that doesn't want you or can't give you what you want is never going to lead anywhere good.
10/26/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I have to agree with BBW (as I usually do). The thing I find most disturbing is that he doesn't allow you to hug him or hold his hand. That means YOU, as a person, a whole body, are not desirable to him, just your vagina is. If your genitals are ... more
...The same reason why everyone woman in situations like this continue to do so...you want what you can't have.

I've seen so many women go through it and it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, they don't listen until they get their heart ripped out for what they consider to be the "last time".

"Negative attention is better than no attention at all."
"It's safe."
"I can change him."
"He completes me, one day he'll realize I do the same for him."
"No one else will want me."
"I have too many issues/past hurts to try and start all over again."

Those six irrational beliefs outweigh any kind of rational advice from "those on the outside".
10/26/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
...The same reason why everyone woman in situations like this continue to do so...you want what you can't have.

I've seen so many women go through it and it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, they don't listen ... more
Yeah, I realize that. Basically my point is:

If you're looking for someone to tell you it's okay, you're not going to find it (at least with me). If someone does tell you it's okay, it's because they're tired of hearing the same sob story over and over. If you aren't going to take the advice you're given, stop asking for it (just slightly changing the context).

It's rude, but coddling isn't helping anyone. When the condom broke, you knew he'd be pissed and you worried he'd leave you if you got pregnant. He didn't want to help you get out of your "terrible home situation" at all. From the start, it's been apparent (at least to me) that this idiot isn't in it as deep as you are. It's time to put your big girl panties on and face the truth. It's time to move on.
10/26/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Yeah, I realize that. Basically my point is:

If you're looking for someone to tell you it's okay, you're not going to find it (at least with me). If someone does tell you it's okay, it's because they're tired of ... more
Um...was that supposed to be aimed at me? *confused*
10/26/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
If a man told me that we'll have sex, but we can't be seen publicly being affectionate, then his ass will be ditched promptly. I've had many a friends with benefits and we still displayed a level of affection and desire for each other in public. It wasn't to the point of exclaiming love for each other, but we would hold hands and such.

Seriously, no video, movie, etc. is going to win back your ex. The only that will allow that to happen is your ex himself. And to be honest, it sounds like he's just interested in getting pleasure for himself, not you and your feelings. No one has the right to be this callous towards anyone else.

Don't pin your hopes on something that probably won't happen. From previous posts, it's evident that you still care deeply for him but he has little to no interest for you. For someone who has been on both sides of the situation, your best bet is to move on find someone who will love you and cherish you.

Anyway, idk if you're actually going to follow anyone's advice here (which might i add, is very sound and sane), but it really would help you if you did. Ditch him and find someone that would love to take you out and be proud that you're with him, not embarrassed.
10/26/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Um...was that supposed to be aimed at me? *confused*
no, I responded to you with my point for her. sorry for the confusion!
10/26/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
no, I responded to you with my point for her. sorry for the confusion!
LOL It's ok. I was just like "what did I do?" and got a little pouty for a second. I agree with you, by the way.
10/26/2011