The New Intimacy

Issues trying to get a divorce?

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Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
If you have ever been in an abusive marriage with lying and cheating as well did you ever have issues trying to get your divorce? I have been trying to get my divorce for over a year, I left my "ex husband" almost a year and half ago he refuses to give me an exact address to where I can find him to have him served with divorce papers. I was also stuck trying to scrape together the money to file I still don't have the money as a divorce is almost $500 where I live. I have had jobs while trying to get this divorce but I made enough money to pay what I NEEDED to pay monthly in bills,gas and personal care items. Never do I have leftover money when I do have money. I was told by a friend about a program in the county we are in where I can get my divorce for pretty much free if I can prove that I can't afford it. I have NO intentions in going back to him I REFUSE to go through that again, he is still hanging on to hope that I will come back. When I ask him for an address of either home or work to have him served he gives me "a friend's" address cause he is living out of his car. I find that part a little funny since he no longer has his car because he was arrested for driving without a license. He is just avoiding the divorce all together he has told me the TWO times I have talked to him since I left him that he wants to do marriage counseling. I don't want to do marriage counseling I GAVE him that CHANCE to change and he didn't. I gave him the chance to line up marriage counseling but he didn't money was always an issue. Right, because counseling sessions are 100s of dollars why pay that for marriage counseling when you can just pay ONCE for a divorce and be done with me forever?! He has been married once before and he refused to pay for his last divorce but his ex wife KNEW exactly where he was and how to get a hold of him.


I guess my question is have you ever been in a similar situation and what did you do?

I want my divorce so bad and I am going over the papers for the program to see if I can get my divorce for free or little cost. It will be an emotional roller coaster even though I want it over, I am sure it will be a part of the closure process. I just didn't picture my life like this, I pictured it as getting married once and having a family.
10/20/2012
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
My ex-husband was compliant, even though I was the one who paid for it and all, so I can't really imagine the hell you're going through. At least our state has a no-fault divorce process. Ask about obtaining a ex parte foreign divorce, if possible.

And surely you can't be the one and only woman in history trying to obtain a divorce from an abuser who refuses to comply.
10/21/2012
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
My ex-husband was compliant, even though I was the one who paid for it and all, so I can't really imagine the hell you're going through. At least our state has a no-fault divorce process. Ask about obtaining a ex parte foreign divorce, if ... more
I love that the state I am in is a NO FAULT state an he doesn't really have to sign the papers BUT I have to PROVE that I did try to find him to have him served

This has been pure hell and no matter which direction I try to go I get the shit end of the deal. If I don't qualify for this program then I have to pay to run an ad in the paper for 4 weeks to give him time to respond, if I do qualify for the program then they put flyers up in the 3 courthouses we have in our county. Last I knew he was still in the county but that is it.

His best female friend who I use to be close to decided after over a year of not talking to me to contact me a few weeks ago. She sent me a friends request on Facebook, I haven't denied it or accepted it. I just sent her an email last night to see WHAT she wanted but no response, I honestly think she is trying to get back into my life to get information for him. I am NOT that damn stupid, my Facebook is private so she can't see much of anything on my profile either.

I just simply want this shit to be over and done with
10/21/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by *Camoprincess*
I love that the state I am in is a NO FAULT state an he doesn't really have to sign the papers BUT I have to PROVE that I did try to find him to have him served

This has been pure hell and no matter which direction I try to go I get the ... more
In the state I live in--you can 'serve notice' by publishing the summons for three weeks in any paper that serves the county he lives in. It counts as serving the papers since either the person or a family member/friend will see it and contact the person. You may want to ask a legal aide about that as well. Sometimes you can negotiate with the paper to give you a reduced rate. I see your area does the same thing--it kind of is a bit public, but gets it over with. Also--talk to the safe house or woman's organization where you live, they will often help you with resources and advice.
11/11/2012