The New Intimacy

Did you ever have a REALLY good friend you WISHED you could turn into a lover...but just couldn't or didn't go there, for fear of screwing up the friendship?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
I married my best friend, after we almost pulled apart, arguing about who she was dating, and her ending up telling me that she really loved ME, no one else!!!!! Who knew???!!!

Anyway, I have a young friend who has been torn up inside for ages about telling his girl FRIEND...not GIRLFRIEND, that he really loves HER. They would routinely set each other up with dates. Well, he set her up really great this time, with a guy he met at work and now he finds out that this other fellow, after about seven months of dating her, is going to propose.

He does not know if he should, at this late hour, tell her that HE really loves her and has for YEARS, or should he be the gentlemen, and keep his mouth shut, his emotions covered up and lick the wounds HE created for himself? To make matters worse, this other guy, as "thanks" for helping him meet the love of his life, may well ask my buddy to be part of the wedding party!!!!!!

What do you think. Should he tell her, regardless of outcome, that he has loved her and so she KNOWS the facts or just keep quiet and move on????
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
He should tell her, and let HER make a choice, before it is too late.
OhMy! , Nora29714 , ghalik , travelnurse , Incendiaire , ghent529 , Ivy Wilde , digit88 , unfulfilled , jessi2 , P'Gell , Danneh , Scrawberry78 , Feisty , GONE! , Peggi , hall5885 , sexykiss , xMila , NawlinsDawlin , Mrs. Tickle and Giggle , Dnice , So Long Ya Doofuses! , LavenderSkies , Adriana Ravenlust , Mwar , amazon , Noelle , RonLee , Kiwi Green , Meido , JackNit , novanilla , BiteOnThis , potstickers , AliMc , tami , MissCandyland , Quackinator
39
He should buck it up, keep quiet and be a man. He was too shy to committ to her before, it is too late now.
ViVix , Chilipepper , wetone123 , PropertyOfPotter , zaftigzoo , Kiwi Green
6
Other????
ghalik , Airen Wolf , Stinkytofu10 , Gracie , Layenna , Adriana Ravenlust , glasskitten , Kiwi Green , subwayrailings , Supervixen
10
Total votes: 55 (51 voters)
Poll is closed
12/01/2011
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Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I married my best friend, after we almost pulled apart, arguing about who she was dating, and her ending up telling me that she really loved ME, no one else!!!!! Who knew???!!!

Anyway, I have a young friend who has been torn up inside for ... more
He should shut his hole until she decides if she wants to accept this proposal. If she declines the proposal, then the two will probably break up, and he can butt in.
07/18/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I married my best friend, after we almost pulled apart, arguing about who she was dating, and her ending up telling me that she really loved ME, no one else!!!!! Who knew???!!!

Anyway, I have a young friend who has been torn up inside for ... more
He probably should tell her but be prepared to be an adult and hide his hurt if she chooses the other man. Emotional blackmail is so easy to do and so hard to come back from. Such a sad thing to have happen!
Mentioning it before the proposal will save her the most discomfort or hurt.
07/18/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Can't see how developing a backbone at this hour is going to help him.
07/18/2012
Contributor: Gracie Gracie
Well what about the girl? In all this time she has not indicated an attraction to him, right? I suspect that if neither one taken it to the next level by now it isn't meant to be. The question is what should he do now? I don't think there is just one either or answer. I think he should try to spend some time together and see what evolves.
07/19/2012
Contributor: digit88 digit88
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I married my best friend, after we almost pulled apart, arguing about who she was dating, and her ending up telling me that she really loved ME, no one else!!!!! Who knew???!!!

Anyway, I have a young friend who has been torn up inside for ... more
tell her
07/19/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'm curious to what he did!
07/19/2012
Contributor: jessi2 jessi2
I hope he tells her.. She may have just given up on waiting for him to say something!
07/19/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
He should love her enough to keep quiet about his feelings.
07/19/2012
Contributor: Gracie Gracie
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
I'm curious to what he did!
I forgot to look at the date of the original post! I agree with unfulfilled, please give us an update!
07/19/2012
Contributor: Scrawberry78 Scrawberry78
He should have told her and I hope he did.
07/21/2012
Contributor: sexykiss sexykiss
he should tell her
07/21/2012
Contributor: LenaLovesFun LenaLovesFun
I wanna know what happened! I think he should have told her
07/28/2012
Contributor: Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
Agreed....what happened?
08/01/2012
Contributor: So Long Ya Doofuses! So Long Ya Doofuses!
I recently had a very close guy friend who I hadn't seen in four years that he had always had a crush on me and that he would really like to try his hand at a relationship. IT WAS THE SWEETEST THING EVER AND I STARTED CRYING.

...maybe this story will help?
08/05/2012
Contributor: Layenna Layenna
He should give up being friends with her. It sounds like a pretty pathetic friendship and he doesn't have a way out.
08/09/2012
Contributor: glasskitten glasskitten
Update! Update! Update!
09/18/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
This kind of thing always scares me. I hope it never happens to me or people I know. I wish him the best!

Please update us on the situation!
09/18/2012
Contributor: KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
He should tell her but I know how hard that can be. Maybe write a note and give it to her would be easier.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Kiwi Green Kiwi Green
i wish the best but i have no clue. tell me what he does and how does it turn out.
09/27/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
I guess I would need more information to tell for sure, but unless she has made it clear to this guy that she doesn't want him (which could be likely) then it's perfectly fine to admit to feelings. However, if she has made it clear that she doesn't want anything more than friendship, he is going to need to move on. Either way, it's her choice, and he can't expect anything from her even if he does tell her he loves her.
10/27/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
A tricky situation. I don't know what I'd do. He could completely destroy their relationship if he tells her though, so he should proceed with caution. It's odd that he would set her up on dates in the first place. If I were secretly in love with someone, the last thing I would do is try to get her attention focused on someone else. If I were her, I'd take it as a sure sign that he wasn't interested in me. If it came out that in fact he was interested in me and never told me until I got with a guy I really like, I would probably be upset with him--not for telling me or not telling me, but for making the situation so complicated by getting me involved with other men. It would seem like needless drama to me.
10/27/2012
Contributor: tami tami
Oh wow...I would love to know what happened in the end did he tell her? Are they together now? oh my what happened ....lol...I think he should tell her because she either loves him or LOVES him...I am a sucker for a good romance hope they live happily ever after.
11/10/2012