Suggestion for men who want more sex from their wives.

Contributor: Sodom and Gomorrah Sodom and Gomorrah
Sodom and Gomorrah
Related to: 
Why don't you tell this to your wife as a concern of yours. As a matter of fact, don't say anything guys tend to say the wrong thing or say it with the wrong tone. You want sex from her then caress her, love her, massage her tenderly, give her butterfly kisses. If you show love you'll get love. Don't do this either at a time of anger, just as a surprise and don't expect anything in return right away. After years of marriage, and now that your getting older would you really want to take the chance of losing the love you once had. If you were struck with some awful disease tomorrow would someone else really be there for you? Men sometimes complain they get no action in bed, women complain they get no love shown. Get it, get it? Well, you aren't getting it if it's still sexless. Show her love dine her and wine her It's not too late.
08/16/2012
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Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Loving and hugging doesn't get far with me. lol I'm not that type.

But otherwise, yeah. I'd add extra emphasis on the "tell this to your wife as a concern of yours."

I'd also add in that not harassing her rudely about how you're not getting any goes a long way. That's no way to get someone in the mood!
08/16/2012
Contributor: Sodom and Gomorrah Sodom and Gomorrah
Thanks Kira! All good points.
08/16/2012
Contributor: chikisses chikisses
Flirting goes along way in my book! Give me the attention I want and he can have me anytime.
08/17/2012
Contributor: mpfm mpfm
It took us a long time to get our act together and find a groove that worked for us. He has a much higher sex drive than me. Hugging, kissing, caressing didn't work for me. I just thought he wanted some action and it was usually true. I wanted him to spend time with me in nonsexual activities and have interesting conversations. Once we figured out what we both wanted we were much happier.
08/17/2012
Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
It's been shown that women need to feel that emotional connection from their spouse to get in the mood. For many women, that extra affection goes a long way. A little gift, ask her about her day, hug on the fly. Foreplay starts long before you get to the bedroom. But if you think that means you walk in, hug her, and then say, "Hey baby, how about a blow job?" after a period of no sex, you're doing it wrong.
08/17/2012
Contributor: Sodom and Gomorrah Sodom and Gomorrah
Everybody offering such great suggestions.
08/17/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
Those kind of things won't get too far with me either. Know your wife and take the time to get to know her. No one wants to feel like their partner can't even take the time to get to know you anymore. We all change some over time. Take the time to connect with your partner on a daily basis. Just because you are married or together for a long time doesn't mean you don't have to continue to work at loving each other.

If my partner didn't want to connect with me, I wouldn't want to have sex with them either.
08/17/2012
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
I agree. Talk about it. Open communication is the foundation for a good relationship.
08/17/2012
Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Those kind of things won't get too far with me either. Know your wife and take the time to get to know her. No one wants to feel like their partner can't even take the time to get to know you anymore. We all change some over time. Take the ... more
"Just because you are married or together for a long time doesn't mean you don't have to continue to work at loving each other. "

This, exactly. Too many people think marriages are like the ending of a Disney movie. You fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after and will just be madly in love forever. But love takes work. If you stop working at it, you are on your way to divorce or loveless marriage.
08/17/2012
Contributor: Deeder Deeder
Understand that, through no fault of your own, a girl can take only so much disappointment. If we're not feeling it, it's not that we don't want to be with you, it's that we don't want to build our hopes up only to have them come crashing down again.
08/30/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by mpfm
It took us a long time to get our act together and find a groove that worked for us. He has a much higher sex drive than me. Hugging, kissing, caressing didn't work for me. I just thought he wanted some action and it was usually true. I wanted ... more
I'm the same way. I want non-sexual attention at other times. When I get enough of that, he can't keep me off him!

Oh, and helping with the household chores doesn't hurt either!

I do think what everyone needs is a very individual thing though, and nothing can substitute for good old communication. When you meet your partner's needs the best you can, they're usually ready and willing to meet yours too!
08/30/2012
Contributor: JennSenn JennSenn
My mother was given advice to act lovingly even if she isn't feeling it and that helped her through a rough spot in her marriage. She said that by acting lovingly she started feeling that way too. It's like convincing yourself of it.

I guess this was a little off topic, but people were talking about things to help with the marriage and I think this could be applicable.
08/30/2012
Contributor: Sodom and Gomorrah Sodom and Gomorrah
Quote:
Originally posted by JennSenn
My mother was given advice to act lovingly even if she isn't feeling it and that helped her through a rough spot in her marriage. She said that by acting lovingly she started feeling that way too. It's like convincing yourself of it.

I ... more
That's great advice! Thanks JennSenn!
08/31/2012
Contributor: Sodom and Gomorrah Sodom and Gomorrah
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I'm the same way. I want non-sexual attention at other times. When I get enough of that, he can't keep me off him!

Oh, and helping with the household chores doesn't hurt either!

I do think what everyone needs is a very ... more
Great advice indiglo!
08/31/2012
Contributor: Checkmate Checkmate
Washing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom seems to work for my wife
08/31/2012
Contributor: Dear Ruby Dear Ruby
Good advice, but suppose the situation were the other way around? Washing dishes just doesn't seem to turn my boy on, nor does cleaning the bathroom, lol.
09/15/2012
Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
Quote:
Originally posted by Dear Ruby
Good advice, but suppose the situation were the other way around? Washing dishes just doesn't seem to turn my boy on, nor does cleaning the bathroom, lol.
Could be a communication problem. I've had a few friends with this issue and a frank talk seemed to help.
09/15/2012
Contributor: T&L T&L
Thankfully there's no problem with this in our marriage, I must be doing all the right stuff and it comes naturally!
09/26/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
For me, it's not really about extra hugs and kisses, it's about selflessness. When I don't ask for something and he does it for me; sexually or not. That's what really makes my love for him overflow and want to extend the same to him.
09/26/2012
Contributor: Jamesey Jamesey
Good advice. I hate it when he says "Want to have sex?" Then its just an obligation and there's no build up or fun.
12/02/2012
Contributor: Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Jamesey
Good advice. I hate it when he says "Want to have sex?" Then its just an obligation and there's no build up or fun.
All this is really good advice. If the only time you touch your wife is when you want sex it isn't going to happen. Loving touches, doing non sexual activities, walks, shopping, chores all make for togetherness and bonding. When the time is right you will have nice loving that is pleasurable for you both. Sometimes we forget to just spend time together enjoying each other's company, it is as important as air is to breathing in a relationship.
07/21/2013
Contributor: Babylove09 Babylove09
Quote:
Originally posted by Sodom and Gomorrah
Why don't you tell this to your wife as a concern of yours. As a matter of fact, don't say anything guys tend to say the wrong thing or say it with the wrong tone. You want sex from her then caress her, love her, massage her tenderly, give ... more
Well I'd say yes, I love being cuddled and massaged especially! But If you feel like those wont work just tell her I know I feel the same way at times but I'm not a mind reader.
07/21/2013