The New Intimacy

How soon after having a baby did you resume sex?

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Contributor: jc123 jc123
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
It was more than a year for me. My husband had issues with sleeping with a 'mom.' Eventually he got over that. He told me I felt exactly the same as before my son was born.
That's exactly what happened to me.
06/10/2011
Contributor: BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
With my ex, as long as I could get away with (probably months - LOL). With my hubby, 3-4 weeks.
06/30/2011
Contributor: sandman sandman
Quote:
Originally posted by lick123
I was wondering how soon after having a baby did you resume sexual intercourse? My reason for asking is I am at 6 weeks and cannot imagine resuming sex yet! Also was it painful or super loose feeling?
We waited the required 6 weeks, but it was uncomfortable for my wife at first. After 3-4 times she said it was just like normal.
06/30/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
It was just under 6 weeks.
08/02/2011
Contributor: virgomama616 virgomama616
I didnt get the go ahead from my dr until 6 weeks. I was afraid it would hurt vaginally (it did a bit at first-use lots of lube!) so we had anal sex for a couple weeks before my dr appt.
08/10/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I don't think we lasted more than 10 days after the first two were born, and My Man remembers my still lying on an air mattress on the floor (I had a C Section and couldn't get into or out of our waterbed because of the pain of the incision) and offering him a blow job the second night I was home from the hospital when our third one was born. (She was tucked safely into a Baby Basket.)

We didn't wait long at all.

My incision was a little sore, but we found positions to keep his weight off it it. I breastfed full time for well over a year with every kid (16 months, 2 year and 4 years respectively for each kid) so we didn't worry too much about birth control until I got my periods back, at about 14 months after the birth each time. Then we used the Sponge, a few tries with condoms (and I didn't realize I was allergic to latex) and settled on withdrawal, after a few accidents with "Natural Family Planning." (Which only works if you are "planning" one kid after an other......)

I think I used lube for the first few weeks, but it didn't take long to get my mojo back. My drive was not as strong as when I didn't have a new baby in the house, I mean, new born babies are all encompassing. But, we still enjoyed sex a lot, and long before we were "supposed to."
08/10/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
With my last child, we had sex a week after I had him. We used lots of lube, and went really slow at first. It didn't hurt at all. I had even torn a bit in delivery (it was a home birth) and I couldn't feel ANY pain what so ever. Thank god for plain ol' KY....lol.
08/14/2011
Contributor: momma22js momma22js
Took me about a month and a half but I was also breast feeding and I had had a c section. I was so tired sex was the last thing on my mind
09/16/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
8 weeks.
06/22/2012
Contributor: Deeder Deeder
With my son we started back up within a week after my 6 week check-up. I had fairly heavy bleeding for almost that hole time period, and was still pretty tender from my episiotomy, so getting back in the sack for anything other than sleep was the last thing on my mind. I remember it hurting a LOT, to the point that I thought I was going to tear my newly healed incision. It took a while for it to not be a pain.

Right now I'm about 3 and a half weeks post-delivery with our daughter. I only had a very small tear with her, right along the same line as my epi. I'm no longer sore from the stitches and barely bleeding. I'm a little anxious to get back to it, but at the same time haven't been cleared by my doc yet (even though I go back to work in six days), and I'm a bit scared of how it will go.
06/24/2012
Contributor: HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
Quote:
Originally posted by lick123
I was wondering how soon after having a baby did you resume sexual intercourse? My reason for asking is I am at 6 weeks and cannot imagine resuming sex yet! Also was it painful or super loose feeling?
I waited only a few days after having my first child. After having my second I had to wait longer because of having my tubes ties! I think initilly its up to you, but you can get pregnant in that time frame as well. So just becareful!
06/26/2012
Contributor: lecanis lecanis
I waited a couple of months. I had a very hard pregnancy with a lot of complications, and the delivery wound up being C-section. There was a lot of pain and I wound up having to go back to the doctor several times because of problems, so it wasn't really a time when I was even up to thinking about sex.

When I did finally have sex again though, it wasn't really a problem at all.
06/26/2012
Contributor: sexykiss sexykiss
i have never had a baby so i answered this fo rmy friend that is sitting right here she said she had sex 2 weeks after she gave birth and then she got pregnant again.
06/27/2012
Contributor: dontbackdown02 dontbackdown02
it was well after the 6 week mark....i had a c section so my hubby wanted to make sure everything was healed before just to be safe.
07/07/2012
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
definitely ask a doctor
07/11/2012
Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
About 6 weeks with the first, about 3 with the second. Very different pregnancies and labors with very different models of care.

I believe, though, that the general rule of thumb is 6 weeks.
07/11/2012
Contributor: Scorpionwally Scorpionwally
Just after 6 weeks
07/11/2012
Contributor: momoxd11 momoxd11
Quote:
Originally posted by lick123
I was wondering how soon after having a baby did you resume sexual intercourse? My reason for asking is I am at 6 weeks and cannot imagine resuming sex yet! Also was it painful or super loose feeling?
i went a year and 3 months without having sex after my son was born and when i did it hurt so much but its different for every one
07/11/2012
Contributor: booboo111926 booboo111926
6 weeks. I had a csection so it was totally different
07/12/2012
Contributor: remember.me remember.me
I'm pretty sure I waited 6 weeks but it was a while ago now, my memory isn't perfect for sure!
07/13/2012
Contributor: legna legna
It is a little painful at first but after a while it isn't so bad.
07/13/2012
Contributor: konicaguy konicaguy
Wait until you are ready, but help a guy out...
07/19/2012
Contributor: milfstatus milfstatus
It was a week. It didn't hurt n it felt normal.
07/20/2012
Contributor: Calypso05 Calypso05
6 weeks...we were too tired before
07/22/2012
Contributor: Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by lick123
I was wondering how soon after having a baby did you resume sexual intercourse? My reason for asking is I am at 6 weeks and cannot imagine resuming sex yet! Also was it painful or super loose feeling?
No pain, but tender. We waited the full 6 weeks.
07/27/2012
Contributor: jfuz jfuz
Arent you supposed wait like 40 days to have sexual intercourse?
07/27/2012
Contributor: AriaRN AriaRN
I have heard stories about women sleeping with their men while still at the hospital after delivering!! I can't even imagine that !!! 2 months for me!
07/29/2012
Contributor: LLmama LLmama
6 or 7 weeks! And it hurt like hell!
08/08/2012
Contributor: epiphanyjayne epiphanyjayne
5 weeks after both my babies. some slight tenderness but didn't hurt me. but my friend was sore for 6 months it's mostly personal. most women are good to go 6 weeks. didn't feel lose.
I'm having my third so I'll see if it's the same as the other ones or if I might need longer.
09/25/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by jfuz
Arent you supposed wait like 40 days to have sexual intercourse?
No. That's only a social custom if you are Orthodox Jewish or Muslim.

Most doctors say to wait about 3 wks, so that the cervix is closed and the placental site is healed. But, a lot of people have sex (at least sex play) before that.

I know few people who waited that long (40 days or longer.) I think it would cause problems with the relationship. Men feel kind of displaced when a new baby is born (usually the first one) and although they need to learn to understand that their wife is now a mother and NEEDS time to be with the baby, the relationship between the mother and her partner is still important and needs to be nurtured.

In the couples I know (and nearly all my friends have kids) the longer it takes for normal sexual relations to resume after the baby is born, the more problems I see that couple having.

If there are problems in the relationship, they are going to come to a head shortly after a baby is born. It is one of the most stressful things a couple can go through. If the relationship was strong before the baby, they should be OK, if it was weak in any areas, those weaknesses will come full blossom once the stress of non-stop feedings, no sleep and little time alone happens after the baby is born.

It's really a test of the relationship and how strong and resilient each member of the couple are.
09/25/2012