The New Intimacy

How many of us are "swingers"?

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Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
You don't have to answer if you don't want to... but I am curious... I'd like to know if any of you are open swingers. My husband and I are just starting to get into the "lifestyle"... but we haven't had any encounters yet. We're planning on going to our first swingers club this weekend. We're not into full swapping. I'm curious to know if there are any others here that could give us some advice or let us know what to expect...

We are members of a couple of sites, and we talk to some of the couples on there, but I want to try to get a broader opinion... TIA for sharing!!
10/27/2010
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Contributor: mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
Quote:
Originally posted by Joie de Cherresse
You don't have to answer if you don't want to... but I am curious... I'd like to know if any of you are open swingers. My husband and I are just starting to get into the "lifestyle"... but we haven't had any encounters yet. ... more
My husband and I are in the lifestyle. We are not one of those couples who feels the need to get with others like every weekend, yet we will occasionally go to a swingers club, or meet up with other people.

My favorite website so far is link. I kinda like link, but I am super frugal, and I don't like paying a yearly cost when I can just pay a lifetime fee for SLS.

Here is my advice to you and your husband (it is the advice I give ALL people who are new to the lifestyle):

1. PRACTICE OPEN COMMUNICATION! I put that in caps because I AM yelling it. Communication is essential when in the lifestyle. Both you and your husband need to make sure that the other one always knows what you are wanting, needing, and feeling.

2. Never "take one for the team". This is a rule that you should have. If this rule is not present, someone may become a little bitter, and that is never good.

3. Discuss your rules with your partner. Different couples have different rules, and everyone will respect whatever rules that you two come up with. If they don't, well, then they are not worth playing with in the first place.

Also know that the rules you set now do not have to be the same a year from now. My husband and I started out with soft swap and a few years into it I decided that I wanted to full swap. It is on a pretty rare occasion that we still full swap, but from time to time I have an interest. Over time we needed to change our rules to be comfortable.

If you want any more info please feel free to contact me, and I would be glad to talk to you more about this.
11/19/2010
Contributor: cnspots cnspots
We are slowly stepping into the lifestyle, well guess I should say others in the lifestyle are not to fast in approaching us since we're not a full swap couple at the moment. At the moment we are just comfortable with girl/girl sex, same room sex with your own partner/ watching others and being watched. Of course we are also comfortable with a bringing in another female for threesomes. So far we have found it very difficult to break in because we not open doing full swap or bringing in single men.

We have been members of the two sites secret collection mentioned but we found this awesome site with awesome admins and members link it has been the best site we have ever joined , all the people on there have been real nice and respectful and the admins are top notch. It just went live late last year but it's going fast and have events every week just about. We will be going to a first meet n greet run through this site some time this year for sure.
01/16/2011
Contributor: mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
Quote:
Originally posted by cnspots
We are slowly stepping into the lifestyle, well guess I should say others in the lifestyle are not to fast in approaching us since we're not a full swap couple at the moment. At the moment we are just comfortable with girl/girl sex, same room sex ... more
My husband and I found it difficult at first as well (when we never did a full swap). We found the best way to go about it was to go to the meet n greet's and the other smaller parties, and just meet people there.
01/16/2011
Contributor: Josh aka FootMan Josh aka FootMan
I did the swinger thing in the past before meeting Jes..

Jes tried it and decided she'd we rather we just play with girls. She's too picky about men and says she only needs one man in her life, but loves the touch of a female. Fine by me lol.

If you are going to do the swinger thing.. Have good communication, don't do anything you don't want to, agree on some rules before hand, and be safe. Talk talk talk to each other and be open and honest with everybody involved.
01/16/2011
Contributor: cnspots cnspots
Quote:
Originally posted by mysecretcollection
My husband and I found it difficult at first as well (when we never did a full swap). We found the best way to go about it was to go to the meet n greet's and the other smaller parties, and just meet people there.
We plan on it, we were suppose to go to our first one on the 29th of this month down in Miami but I couldn't get off work to go
01/16/2011
Contributor: Boobs and Lubes Boobs and Lubes
Quote:
Originally posted by Joie de Cherresse
You don't have to answer if you don't want to... but I am curious... I'd like to know if any of you are open swingers. My husband and I are just starting to get into the "lifestyle"... but we haven't had any encounters yet. ... more
we have been in it for a year, taking very small steps and discussing it fully. really having a great time. we're on sls too, its the best. dgphilly in west chester pa!
11/01/2011
Contributor: WetJenn WetJenn
Not done it yet, but my husband and I have been looking to play with others, we just cant seem to find ppl we both like. lol
12/06/2011
Contributor: MontereyJak MontereyJak
We've been swinging for over a year now. We are having the time of our lives too.
12/07/2011
Contributor: AHubbyof2SexualMinds AHubbyof2SexualMinds
The wife and I have been discussing the lifestyle for some time. She would not be comfortable with me with another woman, but I would like to see her with another man. Female/female and same room is also on the table. But it takes time to discuss these things I think, we've been talking about it off and on for over a year and not ready to make the plunge yet.
12/27/2011