The New Intimacy

Dom vs. Sub vs. Equality

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Contributor: 13 13
My husband enjoys being a Dom at times(yet he is still learning) but seeks my advise and council at other times. When given my opinion he gets angry & irritated stating I am telling him what to do....(?) He also claims he wants an equal partnership relationship but then states he is the KING and will have what he wants when he wants it..... I am ok with the Dom/Sub rolls in and out of the bedroom.... but.....
How does someone define them? Or get their partner to CHOOSE? Dom or equality.
03/01/2011
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Contributor: Happy Camper Happy Camper
I think it's possible to have a mixture of both. As one of my friends in the kink scene puts it, "DS is a power-shifted relationship, but it's still a relationship of two people. - Even if one of them is a table."

It sounds like you guys have some problems to work on. Communication and negotiation is a key element of healthy DS relationships and so while it's good that he's asking your input, I wonder why he doesn't take your advice better. Do you guys have a community at all where he could possibly get advice from other doms? In my experience, domination is not just about getting what you want when you want it. Actually, being a good dom is really a kind of backwards service top in my eyes. I'm selfish, that's why I tend to bottom more than top. It sounds like he has a different understanding of it though.
03/01/2011
Contributor: 13 13
Quote:
Originally posted by Happy Camper
I think it's possible to have a mixture of both. As one of my friends in the kink scene puts it, "DS is a power-shifted relationship, but it's still a relationship of two people. - Even if one of them is a table."

It sounds ... more
Thank you! I am new to all of the DS community and really only want to learn and be whatever makes him happy.
We are working on the communication of it all. Yet I still find myself lost at times. Still searching for a
community to help with all of it.....
...again thank you!
03/02/2011