I know this is EF but sex does not equal marriage and marriage does not equal sex. I love both, but I highly recommend waiting before marriage. Many people then say, "Well, how do you know if you're compatible or not?" To that I say, if you want to find out, then ask! My wife and I talked about all of the fun things we planned to do after getting married. Did we do them all? No. Do we do the rest all the time? No. Regardless, we knew that we were not incompatible in terms of what we wanted in the bedroom long before we actually got to doing it.

What's the point of abstaining? I want to enjoy myself as much as possible. And if that means doing naughty things in a broom closet at my hypothetical rehearsal dinner, then so be it.

Also, as far as abstaining from sex completely until marriage, I tried to do this when I was young and a lot more religious than I am now. Didn't exactly work out. If someone else finds that this works, then fine. But I was too afraid I'd be too horny to make a good decision about a life partner. I was also afraid that - as I don't know that I ever want to get married - I would never have sex. So, no abstinence at all on my end of things.

Umm...none of the above. In my opinion, if you're marrying someone but have never had sex with them (and thus have no idea if you're sexually compatible), then you're in for a very short, and very painful marriage.

I'm not sure if I could.

I don't think I'd abstain. It doesn't seem to add anything - more that the setting does this. Of course, I'd probably want to sleep with my wife before the first dance ...

I don't see the point in abstaining. My Man and I were living together and been having sex for years when we got married. It would have felt artificial to abstain, neither of us wanted to, either.

As it turned out, I was pregnant, and went on bedrest with limited sex (we weren't "supposed to" have sex at all, but we got good at gentle sex for a while) only about 6 weeks after we got married. It was a good thing we had gotten a good sex life in before that happened, I was on bedrest, then we had... a new baby. Our sex life didn't return to "normal" for a long time. I'm glad we had the time before the babies that we did.

Also, I don't think "talking" about your sex drive is enough. How many people are going to tell their partner to be, "Oh, I'm not that into sex. You'll be lucky to get it 10 to 12 times a year." What a nightmare!

I'd never buy a car without a test drive, nor buy a house without a number of walk throughs, or get a husband without completely test driving him and walking through completely! We knew we were sexually compatible years before we got married, because we'd been having sex all that time. How can a virgin know what his or her eventual drive will be? There's no way to know without testing it out.

Wouldn't bother, since it can help relieve stress, and weddings tend to build up stress

i would never wait to have sex thats horrible thing to do, i always had a fear what happends if they just suck in bed then u gotta spend the rest of your life with a sucky partner no thank you. and i dont wanna train someone either. so you either got it or you dont.

I said wait a few days just because my boyfriend and I always make a stop masturbating pact a few days before we see each other again (during the summer when we're not at school).

I don't really care either way, I'd probably abstain for maybe a few nights before, but it doesn't matter either way.

Don't see the point in abstinence.

My original plan was to wait for my wedding night...and then I met my now-husband...haha

I was brought up being taught that sex is "bad" outside of marriage. It all depends on the person, I guess, but Bievan has a pretty good argument. I would not have wanted to marry my husband and find out he's not into anything I am. That would be awful!

Different settings make it more exiting

I'm assuming that sex was already going on in this relationship so I don't see any reason to stop for a day or a week.

Don't wait.

I think abstaining can be great for some couples, but it's not what I would do.

My fiance and I have been sexually active throughout our relationship and I agree with the whole "text-drive" theory...you need to make sure that you are sexually compatible with each other. WE are getting married next month and I do like the idea of waiting for a few days or so...not sure if it will happen though

do what is comfortable for you and your partner

thats a tough question

Night before, morning of.

... NOPE. Fuck that. (Unless you're asexual, in which case-- if you just don't feel sexually attracted to anyone, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You have the right to say no.) But if you're attracted to people and you want to have sex, fuck this waiting shit. People need to be taught their options.