The New Intimacy

I want a threesome

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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
I don't actually want a threesome, but I have a little story/question. So my very best friend, whom I love dearly, got married recently (right after I did) and had her first threesome with her extremely jealous husband. Let's just say everything turned out badly... Her husband wasn't ready for it, nor did he EVER want it. He just wanted to make her happy.

I'm a little confused on how someone would come across even asking to have a threesome. If you've done this, how did you ask? What was it like? Did your partner get mad?

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I just found it crazy that she would even TRY. We all know how her husband is, because he's been this way for the last 3 years they have been together. I feel like it was totally uncool of her.
10/08/2011
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Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I don't actually want a threesome, but I have a little story/question. So my very best friend, whom I love dearly, got married recently (right after I did) and had her first threesome with her extremely jealous husband. Let's just say ... more
Know he's the jealous type, I tend to agree that a threesome was a bad idea. I've never had a threesome, but I think if I was interested, I would probably just talk about it hypothetically and gauge my husband's reaction. For example, I could comment on how hot it would be while we were watching a porn movie that featured a threesome.

My husband and I actually talked about threesomes once. Even though we both agreed it sounded hot, we were both concerned about the consequences of bringing a third party into our bedroom (both from a health and relationship standpoint).
10/08/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I don't actually want a threesome, but I have a little story/question. So my very best friend, whom I love dearly, got married recently (right after I did) and had her first threesome with her extremely jealous husband. Let's just say ... more
I've had them before, and my partners were never mad, but then again we were all open, so there was no jealousy issues. I would just outright ask. Now, in the relationship I have now, I've never asked for one nor would I ever because he wants me all to himself, and that's fine. He's mentioned them before, and I'd be fine with that, but I'd let him choose who it was with as long as we both agreed on it. That way he wouldn't get jealous. I'm not much of a jealous person, but with him I feel more like I want him all to myself as well. BUT, there are some people I'd be fine sharing him with.
10/08/2011
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I've had them before and they usually always ended in someone crying or someone getting jealous. You have to be SUPER secure not to get jealous, I think.

But now they're just not my thing -shrug-
10/08/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
The partner I had a threesome with was bi, so I guess the topic of threesomes came up early on when we were feeling out each other's sexuality. Interestingly, I was more interested in the idea than he was.

Eventually he did it---mostly as a favor to me, kind of like in the situation you describe---but we talked *a lot* about it beforehand so we could manage his jealousy. For example, he picked the guy (who was someone he knew quite well but who was a stranger to me, and I wasn't allowed to know his phone number or last name), we had to spend the night together afterwards while our third had to go home, only my boyfriend was allowed to have my ass, and I needed to make continual contact with him and make sure he was feeling okay the whole time.

We were able to do all of those things and we had a really wonderful time. I enjoyed it even more than I thought I would, and he was happy to report afterward that none of the problems he had been afraid of had come true. He was even more confident in my love for him than he had been before.

With lots of communication---and BEING HONEST ABOUT YOUR OWN LIMITATIONS, AND NOT GOING FURTHER THAN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE---a threesome can be an awesome good time. If somebody's not being honest with him/herself, though, or if you're trying to do something just to please a partner, or if one partner's using the other, it's not going to be good.
10/08/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
I've had them before and they usually always ended in someone crying or someone getting jealous. You have to be SUPER secure not to get jealous, I think.

But now they're just not my thing -shrug-
See, I've never been into all that, but in my mind I could honestly just see that happening to most people. Like... "Yay, this is so exciting! Yay!" and then as soon as the third party leaves and the couple goes to bed, someone starts to cry.
10/08/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
The partner I had a threesome with was bi, so I guess the topic of threesomes came up early on when we were feeling out each other's sexuality. Interestingly, I was more interested in the idea than he was.

Eventually he did it---mostly as ... more
Yeah, see I think if they would have spent more time talking this over things possibly would have been okay... but I just think my friend is out of her mind for asking. I guess you'd have to know the guy to understand but we're all pretty ticked at her for even doing that to him. They just got married and all... that's like a shocker!
10/08/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
She should have know ahead of time how her husband would react. It was absolutely unreasonable and selfish of her to request something that she very well knew would upset her husband. Textbook example of how not to approach a threesome.
10/09/2011