The New Intimacy

Porn Pet Peeves...

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Contributor: lilgrump lilgrump
So we were "reviewing" a video last night and I got to wondering if this stuff bothers many others or if I'm alone. I love porn, but some of the things porn is famous for, I do not care for. What are some of your porn pet peeves? Also, are you male or female.

I am a bi-curious female.

1. Sometimes I wish the girls would just shut the hell up. Yes there are times I might sound like that - but definitely not from the moment he sticks his penis in, nonstop until he cums on my face... which brings me to my next one.

2. Facials. I hate facials. If he wants to cum in her mouth and she swallows it - great. It does not get me all hot to see her rubbing it all on her face, in her mouth, then spitting it out to do it some more. Now on the tits is a totally different story LOL.

3. When every scene in a film starts with a BJ.

With that said, I will also say again that I LOVE porn - just a few things that drive me nuts (and not in the good way!) What about everybody else?
07/06/2012
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Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by lilgrump
So we were "reviewing" a video last night and I got to wondering if this stuff bothers many others or if I'm alone. I love porn, but some of the things porn is famous for, I do not care for. What are some of your porn pet peeves? ... more
Porn pet-peeves:

1. French manicures / long nails — who wants those poking them in an orifice?

2. Facials / snowballing / swallowing — I think this is unsafe for actresses.

3. The scripted position to-do list — we notice when every couple on a DVD follows the same order of positions.

4. ATM — unsafe and GROSS.
07/06/2012
Contributor: lilgrump lilgrump
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Porn pet-peeves:

1. French manicures / long nails — who wants those poking them in an orifice?

2. Facials / snowballing / swallowing — I think this is unsafe for actresses.

3. The scripted position to-do list — we notice ... more
oh, I totally left nails off my list. I hate that, too!! OUCH.

And ATM is ass to mouth?
07/06/2012
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I am female.

1. Ass to mouth or any activity where something (penis/tongue/toy) that was used anally is inserted into the mouth or vagina.

2. Spitting. Sure, I have used a little saliva as lube in a pinch, but I did it discreetly. I didn't hock a giant loogie like they do in porn. Didn't their mamas tell them that spitting is a nasty habit?

3. Overacting. As the OP mentioned, some of these women scream like they're having multiples at the slightest touch or penetration.

4. Choreographed sex. Boring...
07/06/2012
Contributor: Beaners Beaners
I'm going to say everything that everyone else just mentioned.

I also hate when a girl's voice goes up by like, 3 octaves when there's a cock inside her. I'm looking at you Sasha Grey!
07/06/2012
Contributor: ghent529 ghent529
I am male, and i toatlly agree. Facials are NOT on my to do list. and all that noise is unnessacery...
07/06/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Ugh. Computer deleted my post. Short version:

I actually like facials and moaning. So I'll be the odd one out on that.

Peeves:

Guys or girls that look miserable / not into it. Shoot on a better day or if you hate it everyday then get into another business. People usually don't look miserable during sex.

Girls that talk the WHOLE freaking time. I don't need your life story, just look into the sex! It falls partially into the "not into it" category because if the sex was *good* you wouldn't be blathering on about how old you are and what you like to do. You'd be, you know, having sex.

Guys that look a mess / creepy / unclean. There's got to be better people to pick from. I'd imagine lots of semi-attractive men would like to have sex on camera. Can we find some of them? The rapist look is not a turn on. Neither is the "I haven't showered in a year" look.

Girls with bad gag reflexes. Yes, they can't help it, but I'm always scared one will actually throw up. Also guys that realize this and then ram it down the girl's throat anyhow. Vomit is not sexy.

Terrible acting and plot lines.

Porn that starts off with the girl *getting* dressed. No one gets dressed while shaking their ass around or takes 15 minutes to put on a skanky bra and thong. I buy porn to see either a) girls in skanky lingerie or b) naked people. What I don't need to waste my time with is watching what should have been done in the dressing room. In, like, two minutes rather than 15-30. I'm all for lingerie, but let's start out prepared, shall we?

Also seconding ATM (gross) and long fingernails (ow).
07/06/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Beaners
I'm going to say everything that everyone else just mentioned.

I also hate when a girl's voice goes up by like, 3 octaves when there's a cock inside her. I'm looking at you Sasha Grey!
You think Sasha Grey is bad? Try Bree Olson.

@ babycakes
Yes, ATM = ass-to-mouth

@ kira
Agreed! Guys or girls that look miserable / not into it are the worst. I forgot that one for my list.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Charry Charry
Facials, and when the camera man speaks or someone breaks the fourth wall.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Nora29714 Nora29714
I hate it when they sound so fake. almost like they are fighting not fucking...
07/06/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
I don't mind facials, though I can do without the "rubbing it in" part. As for moaning, it all depends on precisely how it sounds - sometimes it's wonderful, and at other times it's terrible (also, let's hear the guy moan now and then, eh? Doesn't always have to be the woman doing it).

Stuff I hate regardless of context:

1) Ass-to-mouth.

2) Down-talking. I know this is a fetish for some, but I find it to be a turn-off, especially when I'm not even watching a scene that calls for it. (Dialog that implies a subtle dominance, on the other hand, works wonders for me.)

3) Actually, "stock" porn dialog in general: "Oh yeah, fuck me hard," for instance.

4) Long nails.

5) Creepy or dirty-looking guys (this is one reason I love gay porn - the men tend to look so much better!).

6) NARRATION! I don't mind a quick "set-the-scene&am p;qu ot; type narration at the beginning, but it's completely distracting to hear narration popping up suddenly while I'm trying to concentrate on the visuals.

7) Related to the above: bad puns. Okay, you've got a scene set during a magic act, great. Don't call the guy's cock a "magic wand." Exceptions can be made for certain kinds of characters.

8) Spitting (which admittedly I haven't seen much of, but the idea annoys me).

9) Seeing toys that are very obviously made of jelly, especially if they get used orally.

10) Hitting/pain. I know there's kinds of porn that call for this, but you can also see it in more mainstream stuff. Seeing someone's ass slapped can disrupt the mood a bit for me.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
I totally agree with everything that has been mentioned! I would like to add:

Having sex wearing 9 inch heels. I love shoes, but really, those could be dangerous! She could put an eye out or impale some balls with shoes like that, and I personally have never had sex in a bed wearing high heels. Just sayin'...

a girl-on-girl scene where the women are so obviously NOT into it! I get that it is a prerequisite that all porn include at least one scene like this, but really, can't they get some women who really love to eat pussy?
07/06/2012
Contributor: kitty1949 kitty1949
girls who squeak and get that fake "baby" voice... and titties that don't bounce.
07/06/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
I don't mind facials, though I can do without the "rubbing it in" part. As for moaning, it all depends on precisely how it sounds - sometimes it's wonderful, and at other times it's terrible (also, let's hear the guy moan ... more
I totally forgot about jelly toys!! That's a big turn off for me. Sometimes I'll even stop having sex with my husband and say "look - that's disgusting!" That's how annoying it is to me.
07/06/2012
Contributor: allinonekid allinonekid
When the music does not stop for the ENTIRE film.

Also ATM
07/06/2012
Contributor: allinonekid allinonekid
When the music does not stop for the ENTIRE film.

Also ATM
07/06/2012
Contributor: hot lil momma hot lil momma
the really long nails and the spitting is really a turn off and the over the top fake boobs are bad for me
07/06/2012
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
I totally forgot about jelly toys!! That's a big turn off for me. Sometimes I'll even stop having sex with my husband and say "look - that's disgusting!" That's how annoying it is to me.
I saw a TV show on HBO (I think) where they followed a porn star to a sex shop to buy toys she would be using in movies she was doing. Since she was paying for these toys just to shoot scenes, she bought a bunch of cheap ones. I bet that is why you see so many jelly toys in porn.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I saw a TV show on HBO (I think) where they followed a porn star to a sex shop to buy toys she would be using in movies she was doing. Since she was paying for these toys just to shoot scenes, she bought a bunch of cheap ones. I bet that is why you ... more
Ugh, that's just awful. I'd be like, "Okay, Mr. Director, here's what's going to happen: either you give me a decent toy budget, or I'm bringing in my own toys and boiling them after we're done."

For me it's the absolute worst to see someone sucking on a jelly toy. Silicone at least is inoffensive to the senses. Jelly, though? It has to smell, taste, and feel absolutely vile!
07/06/2012
Contributor: freshbananas freshbananas
Quote:
Originally posted by lilgrump
So we were "reviewing" a video last night and I got to wondering if this stuff bothers many others or if I'm alone. I love porn, but some of the things porn is famous for, I do not care for. What are some of your porn pet peeves? ... more
French tipped nails, grrr
07/06/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I saw a TV show on HBO (I think) where they followed a porn star to a sex shop to buy toys she would be using in movies she was doing. Since she was paying for these toys just to shoot scenes, she bought a bunch of cheap ones. I bet that is why you ... more
Better to buy (and throw away when done) her own cheap toy, then to question where a toy has been. I saw a BtS once where the actress nearly lost it because there was a miscommunication about whether a glass toy provided by the director was new (it was) or had been used by another actress in a previous shoot.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Noelle Noelle
Long fingernails, ass to mouth blow jobs, facials, only a male POV..Maybe us females want to see it from OUR POV..And I hate seeing huge FAKE tits and spitting...EWWWWWW! !!
07/06/2012
Contributor: HusbandandWife HusbandandWife
Quote:
Originally posted by lilgrump
So we were "reviewing" a video last night and I got to wondering if this stuff bothers many others or if I'm alone. I love porn, but some of the things porn is famous for, I do not care for. What are some of your porn pet peeves? ... more
Overacting is awful! Sex that is obviously choreographed or when the people look bored does not work for me. ATM is not a favorite either. I do like some facials but only if she enjoys them, or looks like she might. Not turning away and making faces like "oh no don't get that on me."

Male half answering.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Better to buy (and throw away when done) her own cheap toy, then to question where a toy has been. I saw a BtS once where the actress nearly lost it because there was a miscommunication about whether a glass toy provided by the director was new (it ... more
That's what I thought. Toys could get lost, stolen, or broken while filming. As gross as jelly is, I wouldn't get nearly as upset about losing a jelly toy as I would be if I lost a silicone one.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Cora Jane Cora Jane
All the spitting is kind of a turn off. And when there's way too much "dirty" talk.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Bullfroggy and Rose Bullfroggy and Rose
Hate it when the girl looks at the camera the whole time.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Pinkshirt Pinkshirt
I would say the ridiculous nails. When they put them in their vagina I always cringe because it seems that they will tare the vagina apart. Also, the cumming on the face and how they smear it all over their faces and mouth ugh so gross. I always try to skip that part.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by lilgrump
So we were "reviewing" a video last night and I got to wondering if this stuff bothers many others or if I'm alone. I love porn, but some of the things porn is famous for, I do not care for. What are some of your porn pet peeves? ... more
GREAT question.

1. Pegging movies. ALL show effeminate males being "dominated" by bitchy woman. Sorry, REAL loving couples do pegging too. Where are some FEMININE WOMAN and REAL GUYS who happen to enjoy that feeling??? NO guy who is completely straight and with his woman, and not into B/D or S/M is wanting to suck that rubber cock like it is real. NO WAY, NO HOW. Come on movie makers, get with it. READ THESE POSTS...a lot of HAPPY, NORMAL couples enjoy pegging. How about showing some of THOSE to us???????

2. Every sex scene does not need to involve another woman. Us monogamous, hetero couples have wild sex too...with each other. Show some of that, please?

3. NO..we don't need to cuss up a storm to be sexy.

4. NO..we don't need to have our butt spanked to enjoy anal sex. I love anal and if my hubby (or any lover before him) had spanked my butt, I would have decked them with my fist (for fun, of course). I am NOT a "naughty child, in need of spanking", I am a WOMAN ENJOYING ANAL PENETRATION, so hold me, hug me, and get your penis in my tush, but FORGET THE SPANKING!!!

5. I too have NO desire to have you squirt your sperm all over my face. (Or anything else). I LOVE your cum. I will suck every drop of it up and squeeze you for more, but I do NOT wish to wear it as makeup. Sorry Porn actresses, that too does not need to be a standard part of any sex movie!!!

6. While speaking of ANAL porn pet peeves...I have been doing serious anal play for decades and NO, you cannot stand me on my head and pile drive me at 100 thrusts per minute. I have to assume what we are seeing is real, but among us NOT in the "industry" but who have active sex lives and enjoy a lot of anal, we also cannot do that...and so maybe, MAYBE showing some slower anal penetration, once in a while, might be nice?????
07/07/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
Ugh. Computer deleted my post. Short version:

I actually like facials and moaning. So I'll be the odd one out on that.

Peeves:

Guys or girls that look miserable / not into it. Shoot on a better day or if you hate it ... more
ATM has become almost mainstream in the porn dvd's we notice. As for long fingernails...well, mine, in the real world, are fairly long, but I keep one SHORT to penetrate him with. I have never seen that in a movie, for sure.
07/07/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by HusbandandWife
Overacting is awful! Sex that is obviously choreographed or when the people look bored does not work for me. ATM is not a favorite either. I do like some facials but only if she enjoys them, or looks like she might. Not turning away and making faces ... more
You bring up a good point. My hubby and I ONLY like porn when it appears the actors are enjoying what they are doing.
07/07/2012