The New Intimacy

Would you be ok with your partner having sex with another person while you stayed faithful?

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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by tidalwave
never, because i did not sign up for that kind of relationship. if he wanted an open relationship, i would leave. expecting me to just go along with that because he was 'just being honest about wanting that' would actually be dishonesty about ... more
Very true! Things can change and evolve in a relationship but for goodness sake this is something that should be OPEN from the beginning of the desire not sprung on a partner who signed up for monogamy!
11/05/2011
Contributor: MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
Ugh, I'm so unsure on this one. For me, I'm just... I don't know. Often, I don't WANT to have sex with anyone else while I'm in a relationship. In the relationship I'm in now, my boyfriend actually encourages me to fool around, but I usually find that I'm just not that interested.

But in the past, I HAVE been walked all over. I guess for me the answer is a definitive no... But I have, in the past, tolerated it. It doesn't make for much fun, though.
11/10/2011
Contributor: badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Heh I have problems in the sandbox as well....I am an alpha female and my guys have to rein me in at times. I have lots of trouble sharing...problem is I LIKE seeing my guys with other women I just want to be the main focus of their attention. I work ... more
That makes sense, I guess. YOu want to share, but you just want them to nibble at them, and gobble up on you.
11/18/2011
Contributor: jdFtM jdFtM
I don't want to have sex with just one person, period. That being said, I think 'faithful' is a pretty loaded term full of assumptions. In my relationships, being 'faithful' means being faithful to our agreements with each other. This means that I can have sex with pretty much anyone and still be faithful, so long as I'm doing other things (like talking to them about it afterward and just protection).
12/13/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I really want things to be fair
12/13/2011
Contributor: mastersonv mastersonv
I would have no problem with my man sleeping with another woman. Just because he is doesn't mean I have to however we have an agreement that if I choose to find someone to sleep with then its ok. It is a two way street so if its ok for one then it should be ok for the other. However just because it's ok doesn't mean I have to follow thru with it until I am comfortable with it just as he doesn't.
12/13/2011
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
A big part of my sexual well-being is having an exclusive, monogamous relationship. It would be very hurtful if my husband were to suddenly tell me he wanted the both of us to explore an open relationship, and devastating if he wanted to explore one while I chose to remain monogamous. I love him very much, and would of course think about it and talk with him, but because of the nature of our relationship, it would really bother me if it came out of the blue, without mutually bringing it up.

It takes all types in this world, but I don't feel personally close-minded in believing that multiple partners wouldn't be healthy for me or my relationship.
12/13/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by badk1tty
That makes sense, I guess. YOu want to share, but you just want them to nibble at them, and gobble up on you.
Sort of that yes! I have had issues with women coming into the house believing they are moving in because my husband is in love with them and I am a bitch who can't service or satisfy my man. So as long as I am the center of focus in our normal life I'm ok with occasionally sharing the guys. I love watching them all gaga over another female what I don;t like is the assumption that I am past tense BECAUSE they are gaga over someone else, if that makes sense.
12/14/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Jaimes
A big part of my sexual well-being is having an exclusive, monogamous relationship. It would be very hurtful if my husband were to suddenly tell me he wanted the both of us to explore an open relationship, and devastating if he wanted to explore one ... more
Just because you have an open mind doesn't mean you have to DO the things you believe are ok. Allowing others to live as they choose and knowing what works for you is both mature and admirable. It's close-minded to believe that because you are aware that polyamory wouldn't work for you it can't work for anyone else...and that anyone who says or demonstrates that it does work for them is deluded, stupid or beyond redemption.
I know I could never step out of a plane 40 thousand feet into the air but I don't believe Skydivers are all gonna die horribly or should be denied the right to skydive just because it isn't something I want to try!
Or sticking to a sexual example: I have had three kids who's heads were just about the size of my partner's fist. I KNOW I can handle something that large but that dosn't mean I WANT to try fisting! I know it is perfectly safe if done correctly, doesn't cause permanent stretching and is enjoyed by many women (and men) but I still have no desire to try. I would be very unhappy if my guys said that they wanted to fist me and if I didn't agree I was ruining sex for them (I knew a woman who's idiot....errr partner said that to her) and maybe I would be willing to nibble around the edges of the experience for a bit but for now I still really don't want to.
There's no shame in knowing your own mind as far as I am concerned!
12/14/2011
Contributor: The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by pleasurehunter
I know its often part of the cuckold experience but i was just wondering how many would be ok with their partners having fun with others while they remained monogamous.
Nope... My propertys mine
12/14/2011
Contributor: voenne voenne
Nope, I don't tolerate that. If a person doesn't want to commit to me alone, then I move on.
12/17/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
No way
12/17/2011
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Just because you have an open mind doesn't mean you have to DO the things you believe are ok. Allowing others to live as they choose and knowing what works for you is both mature and admirable. It's close-minded to believe that because you ... more
Exactly! I love that there are lots of experiences and tastes in this world, and that they make people happy. It is a big part of growing up and becoming a mature, healthy adult to know what does and does not work for you, and yet encourage and support other people to enjoy things that you may not believe are right for you.
12/20/2011
Contributor: chibi1091 chibi1091
No....way...lol
01/12/2012
Contributor: amandaco2011 amandaco2011
Need mutual monogamy.
01/13/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
If this is what both people agree on, then that is okay. To each their own.

Personally, I am monogomous. So if my partner wanted to have sexual experiences with other people, I would feel like I couldn't please my partner in every way they wanted/needed. It wouldn't work.
01/13/2012
Contributor: Curiouscat Curiouscat
Totally unacceptible for me. Id never allow it and id dump him if he wanted to have sex with someone else, or ever did do that. We both believe in staying faithful to each other. If im not enough for my partner then he can hit the road! Haha! And im talking about any guy id date. I know he wouldnt do that. Hope i didnt sound like im hating on him im talking in general. I dont jude what other people do, if someones else is happy doing that then good for them.
01/13/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Both open or both faithful, can't have it uneven.
01/13/2012
Contributor: xxjoel xxjoel
I think a lot of dominant/submissive relationships work that way. If everybody consents, there's nothing wrong with it.
03/29/2012
Contributor: pootpootpoot pootpootpoot
I wouldn't be "okay" with it, but if my partner really really wanted it then I would tolerate it.
03/29/2012
Contributor: Tangles Tangles
It would make me a little uncomfortable. If they were taking advantage of our openness I would want to as well.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Zombirella Zombirella
No! In a relationship with me, it's ME only. You go somewhere else and it's over. I don't share.
04/02/2012
Contributor: hot n spicey hot n spicey
Quote:
Originally posted by emilia
The thing is both need to stay faithful or both need other partners
yes I agree. I would not mind if I too had the same ability.
04/03/2012
Contributor: Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by pleasurehunter
I know its often part of the cuckold experience but i was just wondering how many would be ok with their partners having fun with others while they remained monogamous.
NO WAY, NEVER. That would not be happening in any relationship of mine, not that it is anything I would ever be worried about.
04/05/2012
Contributor: catsin catsin
Quote:
Originally posted by pleasurehunter
I know its often part of the cuckold experience but i was just wondering how many would be ok with their partners having fun with others while they remained monogamous.
I've done this before, actually, but it was ME who was faithful while I let my partner roam the playing field. It was a completely open relationship, I just chose to be monogamous. He ended up sleeping with... I dunno maybe four or five others while we were together (2 yr relationship), but they were casual occasions where he wasn't dating them, only sleeping with them (and rarely multiple times with the same person). At the time I was having awful problems with endometriosis, so it was painful to have sex and he's a VERY sexual person.

It worked out really swell until he went after someone we both found a desire for. I had told him not to go after her because I could see it causing some real problems and he did anyways without mentioning it to me. I found out from HER instead. That's when I called the whole thing quits, because it was founded on the principle of sharing openly all our sexual endeavors.

I still love and miss him, though. Good while it lasted.
04/05/2012
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
i'd have no "partner" to speak of if they ever tried this.
04/05/2012
Contributor: Azule Azule
Not really. I'm a firm believer in balance in all aspects so I would have to be with someone else as well.
04/05/2012
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
I would not be okay with this.
04/05/2012
Contributor: SexyRayne SexyRayne
FUCK NO!!
04/05/2012
Contributor: ejrbrndps ejrbrndps
no thank you
04/08/2012