I want to fuck other people? but I wouldn't

Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
been with my boyfriend 4 years only person I've dated and slept with. When I was younger I would never have thought about havig sex with someone unless I really trusted the person and could see myself with them forever. I had all kinds of negative thoughts on having sex with guys like if a guy has had alot of relationships and slept with alot of girls then you should never date them because its like sleeping with all the other people he's slept with too then there could be drama from past relationships even come up...I was always wanting a certain type of guy innocent very few to none relationships someone you would never have to think twice about cheating on you or trusting them with anything,feel totally comfortable around. Thats how I feel with my boyfriend...I would never sleep with anyone I know my boyfriend will always be around and care about me.

I just wish I could fuck other people alot more lalty? We are getting along just fine and have a good time in bed...a couple of the new workers from brazil I want to fuck them lol. In like 2 more montehs they will all be gone so I will never see them again except on facebook lol. One guy who was nice must have been really lonely not sure but he has a thing for me asking if he can take me home and that he wants me. A few weeks ago he even asked if I had a boyfriend. He's been calling me beautiful and asking me if I want to go home with my boyfriend. It was very flattering and he was one of the ppl I want but I won't do it. WHy do I feel like this? Is it because I never had my "fun" with others before? Maybe my negative thoughts and cares went away? Heck I could even see myself kissing a girl or doig one once. When I was yonger I would never have considered it.
02/06/2011
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Contributor: Crash Crash
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
been with my boyfriend 4 years only person I've dated and slept with. When I was younger I would never have thought about havig sex with someone unless I really trusted the person and could see myself with them forever. I had all kinds of ... more
I've felt this way before. It's natural to want more partners. One of the things I liked most about the first time having sex with my girlfriend was that other side of her that I never would have seen. It makes it even harder when you have opportunities that you know you could take. It feels good to know someone wants you, thinks that you are beautiful, and wants to take you home.

You probably feel like it wouldn't hurt your relationship with your boyfriend. I feel like my relationship with my girlfriend wouldn't change and I could sleep with other people without becoming attached. But I know I'm just lying to myself. Your partner will feel inadequate, like it was their fault, like they should have done something different. It's a serious betrayal.

I feel like I've missed out on something, too. But messing around is something you give up to be in a relationship. Married people who end up divorced lose sight of the partnership that they made. Marriage and relationships are about compromise and sacrifice, but you gain something by that sacrifice. You have to be willing to put the other person and your relationship first. Selfish decisions like cheating are why marriages and relationships end.

You don't want do live with that kind of guilt. I know I couldn't. That curiosity will bother you at first, but you just have to realize that it isn't worth it. Part of the problem for me is that I feel like I should have more partners, because of external influences like people around me and stories I have heard.

It might be a good idea to talk with your boyfriend about how you feel. Be careful about it. He probably has some interest in other girls, as bad as that sounds, but he also may not. You don't want to scare him. This is one of the most difficult things about being in a relationship. It's not easy but you can work through it together.
02/07/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Crash
I've felt this way before. It's natural to want more partners. One of the things I liked most about the first time having sex with my girlfriend was that other side of her that I never would have seen. It makes it even harder when you have ... more
Well it's been 4 years I have'nt cheated and still won't but If I had been single I probly would have fucked that guy. Of course I know there are girls he thinks are hot and would fuck. The difference betwen us though is that I could get someone easily and he would have a hard time. It's hard to explain but if you knew him you would understand. I think he's a great guy and cute. he's only had 1 other gf in his life. Rarly a girl is intersted in him probly because he's nerdy and not sexy to others he is always looked at as the friend..most are like eww he's not my type. THe ones that end up liking him seem to be fat chicks or ugly to him (hes not into that sort of thing no offense to anyone) Most people are surprised to find out he's dating me and he's not gay also then after that still no one looks twice at him. Anyway,I don't think we'd be sleeping with others lol. I think I just need to watch more porn and get some toys lol. i do fantasize alot...I'm reading a book and I imagine myself the girl character and certain guy characters fucking me LOL even in anime..
02/07/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
It is perfectly natural to wonder what you might be missing. It's flattering to have other people look at you in that certain way. it's also normal to wonder if other people find your partner attractive.

The problem I have with this whole situation is you come off sounding very immature and horrible about your current partner, like you are trying to justify why you would be attracted to other men. I seriously doubt your partner would have any trouble finding someone who would take a tumble on him. Geeky guys as well as nerdy guys are attractive to a wide variety of women!

Having an open relationship take a lot of work both in the relationship and in yourself. I would be very wary of feeling confident your guy isn't attractive to other women it speaks of a very poor self esteem problem in you. YOU find him attractive and YOU don't have abysmal taste, presumably, so why would you assume that the rest of us feel the same way? That road leads to heartache.

What I would suggest as a woman who is VERY well aware that both the men in my life are wildly attractive to other women, is that you sit down and have a conversation with your man about how you are feeling. You aren't necessarily asking for an open relationship but you are blossoming in your sexual adulthood. Your interests are broadening and you could use a partner's help in exploring the areas you are comfortable with. I would not suggest that you explore polyamory or even swinging right now but some really intense roleplay might be just what you need.

While I agree that it is a horrible feeling to wonder what you might be missing I would suggest another review of the dog and bone allegory. You don't want to lose the special relationship you have with your partner chasing after something different. Give him the chance to be the something different and whatever you do don't try to justify cheating or remaining in a relationship that no longer suits you. The heartache just isn't worth it.

The sex we have in fantasy is always more satisfying because we can control all the elements. I won't blow sunshine up your ass and say that swinging or group situations aren't exciting...they are mind blowing. if you are unaware or unprepared for the mind fuck you will get after the fact then it can be a terrible experience.

Talk to your amazing, special, attractive, hawt guy about what you are feeling and ask if he will join you in some intense fantasy. Let him know he is the star of your show and that you love him but that you want to explore with him.
02/09/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
It is perfectly natural to wonder what you might be missing. It's flattering to have other people look at you in that certain way. it's also normal to wonder if other people find your partner attractive.

The problem I have with this ... more
well he is a great guy and I am attracted to him but its hard to explain would you like to see some videos of us together? not sexual just hanging out

I can find my camera and upload tommorow I feel like shit today and have to go to work

NO I won't cheat the guys I want are leaving in march anyway when I really wanted to go home with one I chose my boyfriend instead
02/09/2011