A little background .. I have three FWB and recently one has started to act a bit more "attached " . I have no idea what to do . I care about as deeply as i do any of my other friends but at this moment I don't know if i want to try a monogamous relationship . Any ideas as to what i should do ?
Getting too attached ?
05/06/2011
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It might be time for a little check-in with the FWB partner who is acting more attached to you. Perhaps you could ask at a non-sexual moment how they were doing, if anything was bothering them, and if their feelings had changed about you.
If it seems difficult to bring up out of the blue, then maybe you could ask in response to some "attached" action. Is the person asking where you're going all the time? Are they wanting to spend more time with you aside from the benefits stuff? Are they asking what your favorite flower is? If they do something that makes you wonder if they're more attached, maybe you could say, "We didn't used to do this before (or "I don't remember you asking about that before..."), and that makes me wonder if things have changed between us. Have they?"
It's direct, but you can say it in a kind way like a friend would. I think it's better to be direct about those kinds of issues so everyone can stay on the same page.
If it seems difficult to bring up out of the blue, then maybe you could ask in response to some "attached" action. Is the person asking where you're going all the time? Are they wanting to spend more time with you aside from the benefits stuff? Are they asking what your favorite flower is? If they do something that makes you wonder if they're more attached, maybe you could say, "We didn't used to do this before (or "I don't remember you asking about that before..."), and that makes me wonder if things have changed between us. Have they?"
It's direct, but you can say it in a kind way like a friend would. I think it's better to be direct about those kinds of issues so everyone can stay on the same page.
05/06/2011
Quote:
I have to second the excellent advice Kris has given. Taking the bull by the horns might seem reactioary or possibly painful but in the long run it'll be more painful if you have to firmly say you're not wanting that sort of relationship at the present time.
Originally posted by
Rockin'
It might be time for a little check-in with the FWB partner who is acting more attached to you. Perhaps you could ask at a non-sexual moment how they were doing, if anything was bothering them, and if their feelings had changed about you.
If ... more
If ... more
It might be time for a little check-in with the FWB partner who is acting more attached to you. Perhaps you could ask at a non-sexual moment how they were doing, if anything was bothering them, and if their feelings had changed about you.
If it seems difficult to bring up out of the blue, then maybe you could ask in response to some "attached" action. Is the person asking where you're going all the time? Are they wanting to spend more time with you aside from the benefits stuff? Are they asking what your favorite flower is? If they do something that makes you wonder if they're more attached, maybe you could say, "We didn't used to do this before (or "I don't remember you asking about that before..."), and that makes me wonder if things have changed between us. Have they?"
It's direct, but you can say it in a kind way like a friend would. I think it's better to be direct about those kinds of issues so everyone can stay on the same page. less
If it seems difficult to bring up out of the blue, then maybe you could ask in response to some "attached" action. Is the person asking where you're going all the time? Are they wanting to spend more time with you aside from the benefits stuff? Are they asking what your favorite flower is? If they do something that makes you wonder if they're more attached, maybe you could say, "We didn't used to do this before (or "I don't remember you asking about that before..."), and that makes me wonder if things have changed between us. Have they?"
It's direct, but you can say it in a kind way like a friend would. I think it's better to be direct about those kinds of issues so everyone can stay on the same page. less
Honesty is the best policy in these situations...and it gives your FWB the chance to present his/her case, who knows maybe you might change your mind but in the long run you'll have a clear understanding about what is going on and what both of you want.
Good luck in a tense situation!
05/07/2011
hornypoet69
I have been the friend who got attached in this kind of situation. I would rather the person be direct about their feelings or lack thereof, then continue having sex and getting more and more attached.
05/08/2011
I agree with everyone on what they suggest. I wouldn't want to just wait to last minute when it's too late.
05/09/2011
Just be careful you'll make someone sad.
05/09/2011
Quote:
I will take your advice . I don't want to hurt any one and taking the bull by the horns so to speak seems to be the best approach. Thanks !
Originally posted by
Rockin'
It might be time for a little check-in with the FWB partner who is acting more attached to you. Perhaps you could ask at a non-sexual moment how they were doing, if anything was bothering them, and if their feelings had changed about you.
If ... more
If ... more
It might be time for a little check-in with the FWB partner who is acting more attached to you. Perhaps you could ask at a non-sexual moment how they were doing, if anything was bothering them, and if their feelings had changed about you.
If it seems difficult to bring up out of the blue, then maybe you could ask in response to some "attached" action. Is the person asking where you're going all the time? Are they wanting to spend more time with you aside from the benefits stuff? Are they asking what your favorite flower is? If they do something that makes you wonder if they're more attached, maybe you could say, "We didn't used to do this before (or "I don't remember you asking about that before..."), and that makes me wonder if things have changed between us. Have they?"
It's direct, but you can say it in a kind way like a friend would. I think it's better to be direct about those kinds of issues so everyone can stay on the same page. less
If it seems difficult to bring up out of the blue, then maybe you could ask in response to some "attached" action. Is the person asking where you're going all the time? Are they wanting to spend more time with you aside from the benefits stuff? Are they asking what your favorite flower is? If they do something that makes you wonder if they're more attached, maybe you could say, "We didn't used to do this before (or "I don't remember you asking about that before..."), and that makes me wonder if things have changed between us. Have they?"
It's direct, but you can say it in a kind way like a friend would. I think it's better to be direct about those kinds of issues so everyone can stay on the same page. less
05/11/2011
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 6