I respectfully disagree with the advice provided by other contributors so far. From what I have read, the issue here is a difference in expectations, and not an issue of the number of people involved, insecurities, or self-confidence.

It seems to me that you don't like it when information like "I'm in love with XYZ" is sprung on you. In a previous post, you said, "I cant stand being called controlling when im just trying to keep myself informed."

I support your right to feel informed. You have expectations about how and when you and your partners should keep each other updated. It seems like your husband doesn't expect to have to tell you ABC happened, but you'd like it if you knew about ABC before you heard about XYZ. I recommend having a frank discussion about what expectations you have as far as communication is concerned. It's okay to want to know details, and it's okay to ask your partner *not* to tell you the details. But everyone should be on the same page about who needs to tell what to whom, and that doesn't seem like it's happened yet.

Then, once you have set some rules about what updates to give each other, you both will have a clearer idea about what's going on as far as updates are concerned. Your husband might say he doesn't want to tell you certain things, and that's a challenge you two will need to work out. Discuss why you want to know certain things, so he has an idea of where you're coming from. I think if you said "I feel insecure in my friendship with you," that would mean a lot. It would mean a lot if someone said that to me. And it would come across very differently than if someone said they just wanted to know what I was doing/thinking all the time.

I hope that helps