The New Intimacy

Closing An Open Relationship

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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
How do (or did) you go about closing your open relationship? Was there a situation that lead you to believe that it would be better for your partner and yourself if you were exclusive? Did it draw you both together or was there a time you felt it might actually drive you apart?
Did either of you feel any resentment?

I'm wondering if there is a correlation between the opposite acts of opening and closing a relationship. We have chewed the topic of opening a relationship nearly to death but never seem to touch on the opposite decision. I'm wondering if we'll see that both situations present unique or similar stresses.
03/26/2012
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Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
My Man and I closed our relationship when we decided to get engaged. I was almost done with college and we were thinking about marriage and finally wanted it to be just the two of us.

He's talked about opening the relationship again, in special circumstances (we would both be present and play with an other couple) but, honestly, I just don't want to. We both have to be on board for it to work.

There was no resentment when we closed the relationship at all.
03/26/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Interesting topic, don't think I've seen it before on here. I'm curious to see the responses!
03/26/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
My Man and I closed our relationship when we decided to get engaged. I was almost done with college and we were thinking about marriage and finally wanted it to be just the two of us.

He's talked about opening the relationship again, in ... more
I was hoping to pick your brain P'Gell. You guys are one of the only successful couples I know that have gone from open to closed...though to be fair 'sowing some wild oats' before settling down is actually fairly common. It just doesn't seem to 'take' for lots of couples.
I admit to being insanely curious...about the same measure as our committed monogamists are about opening a closed relationship. We are a fascinating species, we humans, ain't we?
03/27/2012
Contributor: xxjoel xxjoel
I'm going through a really rough time mentally right now, and luckily my boyfriend is a saint and can give me all the attention I need. Since I don't feel equipped to deal with him spending time with someone in a sexual way right now, he's agreed to close our relationship very temporarily until I get over it. It's not such a big deal. Just like the rest of polyamory, it really requires communication.
03/29/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by xxjoel
I'm going through a really rough time mentally right now, and luckily my boyfriend is a saint and can give me all the attention I need. Since I don't feel equipped to deal with him spending time with someone in a sexual way right now, ... more
You have a wonderful and sensitive man. ~nods At the very least he has faith you will get over whatever is bothering you and knows that he needs to be willing to help you build that foundation. I wish you both the best of love and luck!
03/30/2012
Contributor: Mirachaya Mirachaya
My boyfriend and I are dating another woman(who has another primary partner). In this setup there are no jealousy issues to speak of. I have been going through a rough time though lately was worried about him actively searching for other partners right now(as the two of us live together). For the time being we are setting up a relationship based on poly-fidelity and communication.
04/05/2012