My thoughts, personally, are that if you are going to marry someone, you should marry someone without "safety nets". If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that person may cheat on you, take off with your money/assets, etc....Then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. However, that is my thoughts anyways. If you were confronted by your partner, to sign one....would you?
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
03/05/2012
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I'm not sure. My gut reaction is like you...I feel like that's tempting fate to sign a one: it's like your partner thinks you're going to split up eventually. On the other hand, I can understand that someone with a lot of assets would want to protect them in case anything bad happened. It depends on the situation really.
03/05/2012
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I do sort of agree with what you said. If you have ANY doubts then you should not even be thinking of marriage! I really do not know how I'd react. I guess it'd only be natural to feel somewhat hurt if your partner pushed that when you'd been together for so long and had a great, trustworth rel. I don't know at all how I'd act. I would have to feel a little yucky about it because I personally plan to always be with my partner and if for some reason we split, I'll never be in another relationship. No siree. I'd expect trust and a prenupt is kind of like back-up, like you said, a safety net. It'd be like saying "I don't fully trust you, so sign this just incase... bitch." Lol. OK, maybe not the bitch part. Hee hee.
Originally posted by
jmex83
My thoughts, personally, are that if you are going to marry someone, you should marry someone without "safety nets". If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that person may cheat on you, take off with your money/assets, etc....Then
...
more
My thoughts, personally, are that if you are going to marry someone, you should marry someone without "safety nets". If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that person may cheat on you, take off with your money/assets, etc....Then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. However, that is my thoughts anyways. If you were confronted by your partner, to sign one....would you?
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I really can't say I would or would not sign one if my partner did happen to ask. I'd feel like... crap because all these years he's thought so highly of me so a prenupt would be a real surprise. I mean, I DON'T have assurance that he won't hurt me, ya know? Trust. Trust. A very hard question though.
03/05/2012
I'm going to go with "I shouldn't have to". If we're getting married, he should trust me, right? I'm not the untrustworthy one in the relationship. If we ever split up, it'd likely be because he cheated on me again and/or lied a lot. So if anything, I'D need a prenuptial agreement. Heh. Except not really because I'm working through trusting him again and besides, he's the own with the job. Lol.
03/05/2012
I don't think that will ever happen to me, I won't be marrying any billionaires in my lifetime! IF a guy really loves me and wants to marry me, he shouldn't be worried about sharing his money with me, I'm not the type who'll grab his assets and run.
03/05/2012
Master had a rather tumultuous marriage to a gold-digger who attempted to steal everything out from under him while they were still married. Their divorce took a long time to sort out, so he's rather cautious on where I stand in relation to money matters and independence. I can completely understand if, should we decide to marry, he'd want one, if just to settle his mind. All the time afterward would make it clear that I would value the relationship and him more than his money. So, essentially, I'd have nothing to lose no matter what.
There's also another aspect of prenups that has nothing to do with divorce - it has everything to do with the sharing of assets and what happens to them in the course of the marriage. A prenup is made to ensure that whatever the other partner does (like spend themselves into debt and have to file for bankruptcy), it won't affect the one with the assets. A co-worker of mine had battled out her late husband's debts for years, and she ended up losing EVERYTHING to pay his debts off - including her home, horses, and vehicles that she paid for with her own money. Just remember that not all marriages end in divorce, but the money problem will crop up in some other way. It's a form of insurance is all.
There's also another aspect of prenups that has nothing to do with divorce - it has everything to do with the sharing of assets and what happens to them in the course of the marriage. A prenup is made to ensure that whatever the other partner does (like spend themselves into debt and have to file for bankruptcy), it won't affect the one with the assets. A co-worker of mine had battled out her late husband's debts for years, and she ended up losing EVERYTHING to pay his debts off - including her home, horses, and vehicles that she paid for with her own money. Just remember that not all marriages end in divorce, but the money problem will crop up in some other way. It's a form of insurance is all.
03/05/2012
On the one hand, I can see what it can come across like one party doesn't trust the other. But like Chilipepper says, there are other reasons that it can be beneficial.
If my husband had wanted a prenup when we got married, if he had sound logic for why he wanted one then I probably wouldn't argue with signing it.
If my husband had wanted a prenup when we got married, if he had sound logic for why he wanted one then I probably wouldn't argue with signing it.
03/05/2012
On the other hand of that, if you have no doubts there should be no concerns with signing one as you won't ever split and the prenup won't matter.
As the child of a messy divorce involving stolen assets, I would have no issues asking someone to sign or signing a prenup agreement. You never know what could happen, no matter how in love with someone you are. Life doesn't always work out the way you plan and divorce rates are high. People become, for lack of a better term, assholes during divorces.
I do not have a prenup with my husband, but then we are on equal footing money wise so it wouldn't make a difference to have one. Any inheritance I receive (or he receives) will be kept as separate property accounts. Things that need to remain separate property for other reasons we have had legal paperwork drawn up on. For example, the house is in my name only and listed as separate property. While we don't have a prenup, we do take precaution. I don't plan to get a divorce, but I do understand the reality that they happen.
As the child of a messy divorce involving stolen assets, I would have no issues asking someone to sign or signing a prenup agreement. You never know what could happen, no matter how in love with someone you are. Life doesn't always work out the way you plan and divorce rates are high. People become, for lack of a better term, assholes during divorces.
I do not have a prenup with my husband, but then we are on equal footing money wise so it wouldn't make a difference to have one. Any inheritance I receive (or he receives) will be kept as separate property accounts. Things that need to remain separate property for other reasons we have had legal paperwork drawn up on. For example, the house is in my name only and listed as separate property. While we don't have a prenup, we do take precaution. I don't plan to get a divorce, but I do understand the reality that they happen.
03/05/2012
My husband's parents (more his father) wanted us to have a prenup. He didn't have any money, but we had just bought a house. As I was just finishing college, I had no credit, so the house was originally in his name. His father though I would leave him and "take your house." It took me quite a while to convince him that I wasn't after his house. I just wanted him.
I also made it clear I wouldn't marry him if he insisted on a pre-nup. So, we don't have one. (He has more debts than assets anyway. )
He was raised to be suspicious of people, and with the false idea that everybody is after your money all the time. We were together for years, had bought a house, were engaged and were planning a wedding when I found out I was pregnant. His parents actually accused me of doing it to "Trap him." WTF? He tried to make them understand that he was there when the baby was conceived and it was as much his responsibility as mine.
They were just really suspicious people. As it is one of his cousins is the co-executor on his mother's will.... not me.... a cousin who she never sees. I don't understand people who are so tightfisted as his parents.
I also made it clear I wouldn't marry him if he insisted on a pre-nup. So, we don't have one. (He has more debts than assets anyway. )
He was raised to be suspicious of people, and with the false idea that everybody is after your money all the time. We were together for years, had bought a house, were engaged and were planning a wedding when I found out I was pregnant. His parents actually accused me of doing it to "Trap him." WTF? He tried to make them understand that he was there when the baby was conceived and it was as much his responsibility as mine.
They were just really suspicious people. As it is one of his cousins is the co-executor on his mother's will.... not me.... a cousin who she never sees. I don't understand people who are so tightfisted as his parents.
03/05/2012
I don't think it's totally absurd to ask for a pre-nup, but unless you have some really serious assets to manage it really doesn't make much sense.
03/05/2012
If you aren't in the "1%", I don't think there's any reasonable way to ask for a pre-nup. My bf and I share the house that "he" is paying for, it is in his name, as are both of our vehicles, and our child will also share "his" last name. Us getting married is on hold while we sort out "my" debt (mostly from college loans and being unable to pay on them since I haven't been able to find a job in the 5 years since we moved here). Once that is taken care of though, we will also "legally" share everything we already share willingly.
03/06/2012
No way.
03/06/2012
No, because I know that neither one of us have anything worth going to a pre-nup for and anything we gain during the marriage is what we've built together and I'd deserve my fair share.
03/06/2012
I can't say I would.
03/07/2012
I would probably be the one to suggest it, actually.
I grew up watching only horrible marriages and relationships, and I never want to be screwed like that. So I bet it colors my opinions.
As much as I would want something for forever, it doesn't always happen. It doesn't hurt to be prepared. Especially putting in a nifty "unfaithful" clause. Thus, if the marriage ends because of infidelity, your estranged partner can't take you to the cleaners.
Sounds seedy and like business. Eh, marriage is a partnership.
I grew up watching only horrible marriages and relationships, and I never want to be screwed like that. So I bet it colors my opinions.
As much as I would want something for forever, it doesn't always happen. It doesn't hurt to be prepared. Especially putting in a nifty "unfaithful" clause. Thus, if the marriage ends because of infidelity, your estranged partner can't take you to the cleaners.
Sounds seedy and like business. Eh, marriage is a partnership.
03/07/2012
I would, as someone with a degree in law I know how messy this stuff can get, so it's better to sort it out early on. That said, pre-nups aren't legally binding where I live.
03/07/2012
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I am of the belief that divorce should never be an option outside of abuse. If you have made that commitment, than you had better stick to it. Now if you consider divorce to ever be an option, then I would definitely get a prenup. Esp if I planned on getting a lot of money through my career. You can never be to careful. And if the worst happens, it simplifies things.
Originally posted by
jmex83
My thoughts, personally, are that if you are going to marry someone, you should marry someone without "safety nets". If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that person may cheat on you, take off with your money/assets, etc....Then
...
more
My thoughts, personally, are that if you are going to marry someone, you should marry someone without "safety nets". If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that person may cheat on you, take off with your money/assets, etc....Then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. However, that is my thoughts anyways. If you were confronted by your partner, to sign one....would you?
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03/12/2012
depends
03/12/2012
I absolutely would. I've seen some awful divorces that had people fight tooth and nail over assets. Not that I have a ton of assets to protect, but I think it's smart to have one if you do have a lot of money and are getting married.
I don't think it's a matter of not loving your partner or not thinking it will work out, to me it's more like an insurance policy.
With the high percentage of divorces, I'm a little surprised that so many people go into it not even considering it might not work out. I don't think it's being pessimistic or not loving to think about the possibility, I think it is being rational and prudent especially if you are someone with a lot of assets. Even people who seem like nice, loving partners can lie, cheat, and steal; it is not limited to people who 'seem' like they are shady people.
I don't think it's a matter of not loving your partner or not thinking it will work out, to me it's more like an insurance policy.
With the high percentage of divorces, I'm a little surprised that so many people go into it not even considering it might not work out. I don't think it's being pessimistic or not loving to think about the possibility, I think it is being rational and prudent especially if you are someone with a lot of assets. Even people who seem like nice, loving partners can lie, cheat, and steal; it is not limited to people who 'seem' like they are shady people.
03/12/2012
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I would sign a prenup agreement if my partner also agrees to do the same and it is negotiated so that each of us is protected and it is a fair arrangement. I don;t see it as necessarily unromantic, I see it as being mature and understanding that people change, including myself. I cannot predict how I will feel down the road and if I have property and assets I have worked for then I would want to protect them...and if I love someone I would want them to protect themselves, even from me.
Originally posted by
jmex83
My thoughts, personally, are that if you are going to marry someone, you should marry someone without "safety nets". If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that person may cheat on you, take off with your money/assets, etc....Then
...
more
My thoughts, personally, are that if you are going to marry someone, you should marry someone without "safety nets". If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that person may cheat on you, take off with your money/assets, etc....Then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. However, that is my thoughts anyways. If you were confronted by your partner, to sign one....would you?
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03/16/2012
It really just depends on the sitch
03/16/2012
Probably never going to legally get married.
03/18/2012
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this is a really good point. I would never have thought of it like this. Jmex and I were talking about this a while ago and thats why he put this up. Its interesting to see the comments that were left. I agree though, that does sound like one of those "situations" that may call for it.
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
Master had a rather tumultuous marriage to a gold-digger who attempted to steal everything out from under him while they were still married. Their divorce took a long time to sort out, so he's rather cautious on where I stand in relation to money
...
more
Master had a rather tumultuous marriage to a gold-digger who attempted to steal everything out from under him while they were still married. Their divorce took a long time to sort out, so he's rather cautious on where I stand in relation to money matters and independence. I can completely understand if, should we decide to marry, he'd want one, if just to settle his mind. All the time afterward would make it clear that I would value the relationship and him more than his money. So, essentially, I'd have nothing to lose no matter what.
There's also another aspect of prenups that has nothing to do with divorce - it has everything to do with the sharing of assets and what happens to them in the course of the marriage. A prenup is made to ensure that whatever the other partner does (like spend themselves into debt and have to file for bankruptcy), it won't affect the one with the assets. A co-worker of mine had battled out her late husband's debts for years, and she ended up losing EVERYTHING to pay his debts off - including her home, horses, and vehicles that she paid for with her own money. Just remember that not all marriages end in divorce, but the money problem will crop up in some other way. It's a form of insurance is all. less
There's also another aspect of prenups that has nothing to do with divorce - it has everything to do with the sharing of assets and what happens to them in the course of the marriage. A prenup is made to ensure that whatever the other partner does (like spend themselves into debt and have to file for bankruptcy), it won't affect the one with the assets. A co-worker of mine had battled out her late husband's debts for years, and she ended up losing EVERYTHING to pay his debts off - including her home, horses, and vehicles that she paid for with her own money. Just remember that not all marriages end in divorce, but the money problem will crop up in some other way. It's a form of insurance is all. less
03/24/2012
The fact is, you never know what a split will do to a person. It could get ugly and if it does, you're hooped and possibly at someone's mercy. It's lovely to think that everything will be fine and dandy, but the truth is, you never really know until it happens.
03/24/2012
I would insist on it.
03/24/2012
I definitely would, I think it's just smarter and safer because people change and we all hope it's not for the worse but that's always a possibility
02/10/2013
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 26