The New Intimacy

Who has the Larger Sex Drive in your Relationship? You or your Partner?

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Contributor: cocorochelle cocorochelle
In my relationship, I have a much larger sex drive then my boyfriend. Which sometimes leads to me being insecure, because I'm told by the media that guys want sex all the time and want it way more often then women.

I've talked to some of my friends, and they also seem to have the higher sex drive in their heterosexual relationships.

Which leads me to wonder, are guys just more open about their sexual desires because society can accept them as sexual beings, while women have to downplay how often we want sex because we have to either fit the trope of either virgin or prostitute (prude or whore)?

I'm sorry to ignore homosexual relationships that are between two women, or two men together. But the purpose of my poll really is to see the discrepencies between how gender affects sex drive, not sexual orientation. I also relaize I'm ignoring a plethora of types of relationships, I'm not doing it to be dismissive or offensive.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I'm in a heterosexual relationship, and I (the female) have a higher Sex Drive
padmeamidala , null , jay28 , MaryExy , Redboxbaby , Sammi , Antipova , Airen Wolf , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , JessCee , Miss Anonymous , Woman China , Lady Marmelade , anonymouse58 , ZenaidaMacroura , Kitty Grub , Crichton , Beck , qwertypop , Petite Valentine , Noira Celestia , Lady Nina , shySEXXaddict , FaerieLove , froggiemoma , Chaotic Rantings , Apirka , (k)InkyIvy , shcoo , MAy86 , cectru , Liz2 , arduous , SugarAndSpice , JessicaLea13 , Sunshineamine , Chae , Ilovelingerie , Mwar , mtmb , Badass , Cassienova , thelittlestdoc , InNeedOfABuzzzz , purple579 , corsetsaurus rex , blacklodge , mistressg , asoutherngirl , Angelica , HugsAndBites , LAndJ , J Peach
53  (51%)
I'm in a heterosexual relationship, and my boyfriend (the male) has the higher Sex Drive
BeautifulDarkness , Gunsmoke , PiratePrincess , Dusk , kelaaa33wish , Tidwtrguy , The Curious Couple , Sex'и'Violence , Lucky21 , married with children , Checkmate , dezzydezire , ThoughtsAblaze , Puss in Boots , rom323 , PandJ , In Between Soliloquies , Grim , EvilHomer , VSgirl , mpfm , Curiouscat , toxie m , Swish , freda , Fun with Dick & Jane , richsam , fredacarl , MissBre , cburger
30  (29%)
I'm in a heterosexual relationship, and our Sex Drives are roughly equal
Coralbell , AngelvMaynard , Epicurean , TameTemptress , bayosgirl , ~LaUr3n~ , Vanessa Weiss , Ryuson , mcl272 , emiliaa , aliceinthehole , ellejay , indiglo , Princess-Kayla ♥ , kawigrl , Collogue , dks210 , Powder , Harpina is gone , Jlingerie , potstickers
21  (20%)
Total votes: 104
Poll is closed
07/14/2011
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Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by cocorochelle
In my relationship, I have a much larger sex drive then my boyfriend. Which sometimes leads to me being insecure, because I'm told by the media that guys want sex all the time and want it way more often then women.

I've talked to some ... more
I have a much bigger sex drive than my partner. I'm glad to have my hitachi for times when he's not in the mood. He does like sex a few times a week though, sometimes more if we have time.
07/14/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I've always had a higher sex drive (married 21+ years). There's no doubt her capacity for sex exceeds mine - but in spite of that, I pretty much have to stay aggressive to keep the encounters going.
07/14/2011
Contributor: cocorochelle cocorochelle
Quote:
Originally posted by padmeamidala
I have a much bigger sex drive than my partner. I'm glad to have my hitachi for times when he's not in the mood. He does like sex a few times a week though, sometimes more if we have time.
I keep a pocket rocket at my boyfriends place now for the times when he isn't in the mood and I am, so I can relate!
07/14/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I'm in the mood now more often than I used to be, but my boyfriend still has a much higher sex drive than I do.
07/14/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
For many years he had the higher drive, then for a little while we equaled out, but in the last year or so I think I might be slightly ahead of him (to be fair, I want it all the time). We have sex everyday, but I sometimes still want more and the poor guy has to get up in the morning for work. I have to let him sleep a few hours a night, right?
07/14/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
For many years he had the higher drive, then for a little while we equaled out, but in the last year or so I think I might be slightly ahead of him (to be fair, I want it all the time). We have sex everyday, but I sometimes still want more and the ... more
This is pretty much us - he used to have a much higher drive, but over the past few years mine has escalated beyond belief.
07/14/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I think your results on a sex toys forum are going to be slightly skewed from the rest of the population. You're polling mostly women, and you're polling people who are very aware of their sex drives.

I'm definitely in the same boat as you---I've only had one partner (out of many) who had a drive equal to mine. (as Redboxbaby said, "to be fair, I want it all the time") In general, I'm happy about my sex drive---but sometimes partners will let their egos be bruised by "not being able to keep up with me"---makes me feel so guilty, because they really *do* keep me happy or I wouldn't stick around, and by this point I don't really ever expect anyone to "keep up." I just want them to enjoy their time with me when they do want to spend it. I try my best not to ask too much when I know they're not in the mood.

It's too bad that culture has given everyone ideas of who's "supposed to" have higher sex drives. It doesn't make a man less masculine to have a lower sex drive than his partner, and it doesn't make a female any less feminine if she has a higher sex drive than her partner. I just wish everyone could keep from having their feelings hurt!
07/14/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by cocorochelle
In my relationship, I have a much larger sex drive then my boyfriend. Which sometimes leads to me being insecure, because I'm told by the media that guys want sex all the time and want it way more often then women.

I've talked to some ... more
I have one relationship where I have a higher sex drive (Sigel and I) and in the other his is slightly higher (Arch and I). I think it has more to do with Sigel being in pain frm his knee and foot rather than anything else because otherwise we three are fairly well matched for sex drive.
07/14/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I am guy and I have a larger sex drive than my fiancee.
07/14/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
My husband has a ridiculously high sex drive. I can usually take it or leave it.
07/16/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
Why is this poll for only women?
07/16/2011
Contributor: JessCee JessCee
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Why is this poll for only women?
Good question, I didn't even notice that the POV of all the options were the same until you said this.
07/16/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
I think I'm the one with the stronger sex drive. He does have his moments.
07/16/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
I have a higher drive then she does.
07/16/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Roughly equal.....except for certain times when I'm hornier, like when I'm ovulating, just before and during my period.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Vanessa Weiss Vanessa Weiss
We're pretty equal in terms of horniness. That works out to boning like twice a day.
07/20/2011
Contributor: babyrock babyrock
When we first got together, it was me. As we've gotten older, she's really gone into overdrive. Some says it's age, some say it's a woman being more comfortable with her body. Whatever it is, I'm not complaining
07/20/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
It is difficult having big difference in sex drive than my partner.
I have perhaps a little less than when I was younger but it's still more than any of my partners had.
07/21/2011
Contributor: Crichton Crichton
I have a larger sex drive than my boyfriend. I sometimes fear that he will assume I will leave him if he doesn't put out enough. It's not true, ut I do somtimes think he thinks it.
07/21/2011
Contributor: null null
I have a significantly higher sex drive than my boyfriend: I preferred when we were having sex 3 times a day, everyday, he's ok with once every week or two. On the other side of this, I masturbate significantly less than he does.
07/21/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
In a heterosexual relationship with a man who is 19years older than me so I have the higher sex drive.
07/22/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
Two years ago it was him now it's me. This has been influenced by my having no sex drive at all when my daughter was a baby.
07/24/2011
Contributor: Lady Nina Lady Nina
I'm in a heterosexual relationship, and I (the female) have a higher Sex Drive
07/27/2011
Contributor: shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by cocorochelle
In my relationship, I have a much larger sex drive then my boyfriend. Which sometimes leads to me being insecure, because I'm told by the media that guys want sex all the time and want it way more often then women.

I've talked to some ... more
This is why ive always said ive shouldve been a male!I think about sex all through out the day!seriously..tanning ,work,grocery shopping,etc. in any relationship or friends with benefits scenerio I have ALWAYS had the bigger sex drive.
08/07/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Where are the homosexual options....? Weird that you'd put only heterosexual options yet be so specific. And I noticed it's also only for females.
08/07/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
He has the higher sex drive and almost always initiates intimate moments, but that's more because I still lack the confidence to be the leader. I'm working on it!
09/04/2011
Contributor: FaerieLove FaerieLove
I most definitely have the higher sex drive. Some weeks though he raises his sex drive above mine.
09/04/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
I do for sure.
09/04/2011
Contributor: Chaotic Rantings Chaotic Rantings
I do by far, to the point where it actually hurts our marriage because our sex drives are so different
09/04/2011