The New Intimacy

When do you stop trying to impress your partner?

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Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Impressing each other, thru the past ten years, has changed a lot. We still do it, just in different ways.

I'm less worried about looking my best every day and way more worried about impressing him with my mad budgeting skillz.

01/12/2011
Contributor: Dark Muse Dark Muse
I chose two options...We will never lose the spark completely, but it has dwindled before, after 2 years together. It will get rekindled, but it tends to wax and wane depending on life factors such as stress, jobs, etc. I still like to try to impress him, but sometimes I just don't really care and vice versa.
01/21/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Impressing each other, thru the past ten years, has changed a lot. We still do it, just in different ways.

I'm less worried about looking my best every day and way more worried about impressing him with my mad budgeting skillz.

Carrie Ann - I agree - what you do to impress your spouse will likely change over time. I think it's our desire to stay emotionally engaged with our partners and maintain our own self esteem that drives the extra effort.
01/21/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
I have only been married for 3 years so I know isn't very long. Perhpas its just me, and maybe I'm a little weird, but you know I have never really tried to impress my husband. I live for his pleasure and happiness and vice vesa. Wow how corny was that? But true. I think what works for us is keeping things open, and always wanting to please the other.
01/26/2011
Contributor: Crystal1 Crystal1
I think it's just the *how* of impressing each other that changes over the years. As you get more comfortable with each other, you drop some things but pick up others.
01/26/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Crystal1
I think it's just the *how* of impressing each other that changes over the years. As you get more comfortable with each other, you drop some things but pick up others.
Absolutely correct
01/26/2011
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
It's take it or leave it with me.
01/27/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I like to hope we'll never lose it but sometimes I wonder. His career choice is burying us now and makes it difficult to find time for those little special things. I'm trying but it takes two to keep the spark. I'm going to keep trying though!
01/27/2011
Contributor: markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by Eliza
A lot of people claim that over time relationships lose their spark. This usually happens when partners become comfortable with one another, and flirting/impressing becomes less important. Has this happened to you, and if so, when?
I don't think "the spark" is anything tangable. People try to expplain it, but it really can't be. I have never tried to impress my wife, nor would I know how. I just try to be me and be as thoughtful as I can to her needs and wants. I am comfortable with her, and I hope her to me. It is a wonderful feeling when you don't have to put on a face for someone that isn't the true you.
01/27/2011
Contributor: northstar northstar
I love the comments about comfort being about a lack of worry, not a loss of the spark. My man regularly tells me how hot he thinks I am, so it's just a nice bonus when I impress him, and vice versa
01/27/2011
Contributor: KrissyRoro KrissyRoro
I will always love and try to impress him !
01/27/2011
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
Quote:
Originally posted by northstar
I love the comments about comfort being about a lack of worry, not a loss of the spark. My man regularly tells me how hot he thinks I am, so it's just a nice bonus when I impress him, and vice versa
I definitely agree.
01/28/2011
Contributor: newlady newlady
The spark is still there after 25 years...never tried to impress...being ourselves is part of why we love each other.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Mlee Mlee
I dont think i would ever stop trying to impress my boyfriend. I think that is what keeps the spark going.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I would vote for "we never lose the spark"

But realistically we are super comfortable and we don't do anything t oimpress each other.

However, that doesn't mean that we do not flirt. Everyday I try to do soemthing for my partner and recognize soemthign he has doen for me. It is small things, like making lunch, or dinner when clearly I'm crazy busy with school. I appreciate when he takes the time to get soemthing fro mthe grocery at the last minute for me. Or when he comes home with a box of cookies!!!!
01/28/2011
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
never. its important to always keep the spark going. or the flam is ganna die out
01/29/2011
Contributor: A Good Girl A Good Girl
Once you stop, it's hard to start again, especially if you think they don't even notice.
02/02/2011
Contributor: danellejohns danellejohns
I have never really tried to "impress" my husband. Even when we first met it was more like I have/had the mentality that "This is me and you can take it or leave it."

I do things for him and he does for me. He has given me many many special moments but I know that his intentions were not to impress me.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Kilgorescowboy Kilgorescowboy
Quote:
Originally posted by Eliza
A lot of people claim that over time relationships lose their spark. This usually happens when partners become comfortable with one another, and flirting/impressing becomes less important. Has this happened to you, and if so, when?
never have if you dont like me fuck you lmao
05/04/2011
Contributor: tickle me pink tickle me pink
Within about a year I stopped trying to constantly impress him, but I still do plenty of little things to make him happy. Basically I act like my real self and so does he, so we're both comfortable and happy with each other. If anything, the spark is even brighter.
05/04/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
I never really tried...........lol im not really sure how much i do "impress" him
05/04/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
Quote:
Originally posted by Eliza
A lot of people claim that over time relationships lose their spark. This usually happens when partners become comfortable with one another, and flirting/impressing becomes less important. Has this happened to you, and if so, when?
i've been w/ my bf for almost 3 yrs (not that long, i know) & we're more comfortable w/ each other than i sometimes like to admit, lol. but i still try to impress him on occation, just to keep things fun.
05/07/2011
Contributor: mariedoll mariedoll
Why would I ever stop trying to impress him? It's so fun
05/24/2011
Contributor: Tart Tart
I am who I am, and if my partner doesn't appreciate that, then it isn't going to work out.
05/28/2011
Contributor: Devz Devz
always keep trying
05/28/2011
Contributor: ChickRocking ChickRocking
Quote:
Originally posted by Eliza
A lot of people claim that over time relationships lose their spark. This usually happens when partners become comfortable with one another, and flirting/impressing becomes less important. Has this happened to you, and if so, when?
I think if one feels like they need to impress a partner then they are doing all they can to get that persons attentions. I would rather be who I am, who I am all the time. Someone is going to like or love you for your true self.
05/28/2011
Contributor: secretside secretside
Me and my husband have been together 5 years. The first few years he always tried to impress me by always doing sweet things. But now the sweet things only happen every once in a while lol. But in the bed room we have gained more of a spark.
06/01/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
It saddens me when I see women my age or even younger simply stop trying. I think the term is "letting yourself go." I did let myself go for a while, when our kids were younger. I didn't wear make up or flattering clothes or do my hair nicely. I felt it wasn't necessary, as I was "busy" with babies and things like that. I was WRONG.

We regained our spark and I try to look good and act kind and sexy towards him all the time.

Yeah, I'm one of those women who brushes her hair and teeth, straightens her clothes and maybe even puts on a new layer of lipstick when she sees him coming up the driveway. Like the old Home Ec text books used to tell girls in the 40s and 50s to do.
06/01/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
It saddens me when I see women my age or even younger simply stop trying. I think the term is "letting yourself go." I did let myself go for a while, when our kids were younger. I didn't wear make up or flattering clothes or do my hair ... more
P'Gell - your absolutely right - and on my I try to keep shaved (both high and low) and spritz on a little of that cologne she likes!
06/01/2011
Contributor: ss143 ss143
For us impress isn't the right word. Do we keep the spark between us? Yes but I think that has to do with our chemistry and knowing each other so well. We have the ability to make each other burn slowly for a long time or set each other up in flames in the matter of seconds
06/01/2011