The New Intimacy

Is this normal??

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Contributor: southernhawtie southernhawtie
Is it normal for a guy to always let the female chose....everything? Where to eat, what movie to see, what's for dinner, everything???
12/04/2010
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Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Is it normal for a guy to always let the female chose....everything? Where to eat, what movie to see, what's for dinner, everything???
Really, normal is always subjective I think. But, I think the real question would be..why is he doing it? Is he just laid back and doesn't care and would rather let the woman choose? Or does he think that the woman would be upset if he said what he wanted?

I dated a guy once where everything was "I don't care". It got annoying really quick because truthfully he DID care sometimes, he just didn't want me to be "mad" if he said what he wanted, which was just ridiculous! My husband, however..he'll tell me if he wants something for dinner, specifically wants to eat somewhere, etc. but a lot of the time he'll let me choose things because he's laid back and would rather me get to choose because what makes him happy is making me happy. So really it just depends I guess.
12/04/2010
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
It sounds like he lacks confidence.
12/04/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Depends on the people involved. My bf is very sub and feels more secure when I make the decisions. We talk about it, sure, and he can be very indecisive, but he's just a submissive kinda guy and just 'goes with the flow.' I always ask his input though, just to make sure.
12/04/2010
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Is it normal for a guy to always let the female chose....everything? Where to eat, what movie to see, what's for dinner, everything???
no I really don't think so!
12/04/2010
Contributor: maskineri maskineri
No, it's not normal if it concerns you. Maybe it'll make sense to ask him more what he would like?
12/04/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
He might be thinking that he's showing you that he respects your decisions, or something similar. You might want to talk about it - naturally the best is when he figures out what you like and surprises you with it, but as a man I have to admit that that doesn't always happen, since we often don't necessarily think that way. Reassure him that you want to do some of his stuff and see where it goes from there (guys do need some reassurance).
12/04/2010
Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
My boyfriend is a bit like this. He always says it's whatever I want to do. Part of it for him is that I'm very indecisive and he likes trying to force me into deciding on things. His way of helping, I guess. Also, he's used to very dominant women. Not just dominant, but very...pushy and easy to upset. They wanted it their way all the time or they'd get angry. So, he is still kind of used to that. Maybe your guy thinks you'll be mad. Maybe he thinks he's being a gentleman? It's hard to tell until you talk to him about it.
12/04/2010
Contributor: Harlequin Harlequin
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Is it normal for a guy to always let the female chose....everything? Where to eat, what movie to see, what's for dinner, everything???
some people do that so they dont have to make an effort.
12/10/2010
Contributor: D&&JForever D&&JForever
My Fiance does it bc he said I'm his queen and I should have whatever I want.
12/15/2010
Contributor: PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Is it normal for a guy to always let the female chose....everything? Where to eat, what movie to see, what's for dinner, everything???
Happy wife = happy life.


Tell him you want him to choose. My guy does this with me and sometimes it does get really frustrating. But I won't lie, I'm a major high maintenance when it comes to where I eat and stuff like that.
12/15/2010
Contributor: PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by Harlequin
some people do that so they dont have to make an effort.
Really sorry you've met the assholes in the world. In my situation it doesn't have anything to do with effort, just that I am way more picky about things than he is.
12/15/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Is it normal for a guy to always let the female chose....everything? Where to eat, what movie to see, what's for dinner, everything???
ALWAYS? No. It's bad in my opinion. It means he doesn't give a shit.
12/15/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
In my opinion, there's no such thing as normal when it comes to human behavior, especially when more than one person is involved. However, it might not be too strange for a shy type of guy to be this way early in a relationship, for fear the slightest disagreement will end things. Communication is key.
12/15/2010
Contributor: Mr. E Mr. E
No, it is not normal. Have you tried discussing this with him?

Certainly, he has to have his own opinions, preferences and desires. Or maybe like Lauren said...he doesn't give a shit.

What happens if you intentionally pick something you know he does not like? Will he speak up, or will he just play along?
12/15/2010
Contributor: Kiwi Kiwi
that's super annoying. tell him to man up and have some opinions.
12/16/2010