Some of you may have seen my other posts about how I'm frustrated with our sex life, etc. Well, this is something else. Sorry if this is getting redundant but I need to vent and I don't have anyone to talk to.

A bit of background is necessary but I'll try to keep it short. Before we had our "shotgun wedding" (April of last year) one of the stipulations I had for me to go along with it was that we would have a REAL wedding one day. He had promised to give whatever was left from his tax refund after paying his lawyer and Immigration fees to our Wedding Fund. For months after the filing deadline, I didn't hear anything. When I started asking, it was one excuse after another. Finally in OCTOBER, he finally admitted that he gave the remaining funds-$1,000-to his ex "for his kids." I hit the roof. I was ready to annul the marriage right there, but he begged me and I made him sign a paper stating that he would give me the $1,000 in two monthly installments. I only saw $600, but whatever.

Fast forward to this year. Beginning last month, remembering what happened last year, I questioned him about the tax return (BTW-if anyone is wondering-I didn't file the last two years because I didn't earn enough money to be required to pay. And we have separate bank accounts, hence why I didn't know he got the money last time.) He kept saying he didn't have it, but I didn't believe him. This Tuesday I got fed up and I asked several people at work if they got their tax refund. They all said yes, a long time ago. I took him outside and demanded he tell me the truth. My parents, too got very upset and said they would contact the CPA that does payroll for the restaurant and try to find out the truth. If he were lying to me they would fire him. He STILL denied it. Then at the end of the shift, he came outside where we were all sitting and told us that he has had the tax return for a MONTH AND A HALF. But wait...it gets better! He didn't tell me because he was "shocked" at the amount and thought it might be a mistake!!! He said he was planning to tell me next Saturday at my cousin's wedding because it would have been two months then without the IRS asking for their money back. Wtf. I don't believe that story for a minute. Maybe if he hadn't lied about this before, I would. But he did, and it almost cost us our relationship. And he's wondering why I'm mad?! He's been giving me $600 a day (the max his bank will let him withdraw) for the last two days, but I told him I may not even take it. Meaning it's over. I can't be with someone who is dishonest. He KNEW how upset I was last time, and he has to do the SAME THING again? Even if his story is true-which is pretty lame-the fact is he LIED. Again. Not once, but repeatedly. Honesty is the number one thing I value in a relationship. How he could lie about something like that is beyond me. What's scary is that he's such a damn good liar. He looked me in the eyes and told me that outright lie over and over. So in my mind, if he's so smooth like that, he could be faking the whole relationship. The emotions and everything. I know everyone from the beginning believed he's been trying to use me for papers, and I so wanted to prove them wrong. I feel like I've been played for a fool. All of the "wedding dreams" he talked about-bullshit. The wedding doesn't matter to him because he never loved me. That's how I feel at this point, anyway. I can't trust anything he says anymore and I told him that. These aren't the only lies, there are others. Like he told everyone at the restaurant that he was "married" when he first started working there to cover up the fact that he had kids out of wedlock and his girlfriend left him. I don't know who he is anymore. He's been all over the world and he won't tell me hardly anything about it. I do know that when he was in NYC he was selling knockoff clothing-which of course is illegal. This is someone who professes to be a Christian. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't have a very good impression of Christians now thanks to him and several other "Christians" I know. No offense to anyone here. It's very frustrating to me that I pushed myself to get married when I wasn't ready-I did it for HIM-and he repays me by lying like a jerk.

He's been trying to talk to me like everything is OK now but I refuse to act like it is. All he keeps saying is "I'm sorry"-I want to see ACTION for once. I told him that very thing but he can't get it through his thick skull. Words mean nothing to me-especially from a liar. It's not only about the money, it's about his integrity. Like I said I don't know who he is anymore. I don't know what to believe. I'm not ready to leave him yet, but I've decided to pull away from the relationship emotionally as much as I can, and continue building myself. Hopefully I come up with the courage to get on with my life soon because I don't see a future with him anymore. less

Some of you may have seen my other posts about how I'm frustrated with our sex life, etc. Well, this is something else. Sorry if this is getting redundant but I need to vent and I don't have anyone to talk to.

A bit of background is necessary but I'll try to keep it short. Before we had our "shotgun wedding" (April of last year) one of the stipulations I had for me to go along with it was that we would have a REAL wedding one day. He had promised to give whatever was left from his tax refund after paying his lawyer and Immigration fees to our Wedding Fund. For months after the filing deadline, I didn't hear anything. When I started asking, it was one excuse after another. Finally in OCTOBER, he finally admitted that he gave the remaining funds-$1,000-to his ex "for his kids." I hit the roof. I was ready to annul the marriage right there, but he begged me and I made him sign a paper stating that he would give me the $1,000 in two monthly installments. I only saw $600, but whatever.

Fast forward to this year. Beginning last month, remembering what happened last year, I questioned him about the tax return (BTW-if anyone is wondering-I didn't file the last two years because I didn't earn enough money to be required to pay. And we have separate bank accounts, hence why I didn't know he got the money last time.) He kept saying he didn't have it, but I didn't believe him. This Tuesday I got fed up and I asked several people at work if they got their tax refund. They all said yes, a long time ago. I took him outside and demanded he tell me the truth. My parents, too got very upset and said they would contact the CPA that does payroll for the restaurant and try to find out the truth. If he were lying to me they would fire him. He STILL denied it. Then at the end of the shift, he came outside where we were all sitting and told us that he has had the tax return for a MONTH AND A HALF. But wait...it gets better! He didn't tell me because he was "shocked" at the amount and thought it might be a mistake!!! He said he was planning to tell me next Saturday at my cousin's wedding because it would have been two months then without the IRS asking for their money back. Wtf. I don't believe that story for a minute. Maybe if he hadn't lied about this before, I would. But he did, and it almost cost us our relationship. And he's wondering why I'm mad?! He's been giving me $600 a day (the max his bank will let him withdraw) for the last two days, but I told him I may not even take it. Meaning it's over. I can't be with someone who is dishonest. He KNEW how upset I was last time, and he has to do the SAME THING again? Even if his story is true-which is pretty lame-the fact is he LIED. Again. Not once, but repeatedly. Honesty is the number one thing I value in a relationship. How he could lie about something like that is beyond me. What's scary is that he's such a damn good liar. He looked me in the eyes and told me that outright lie over and over. So in my mind, if he's so smooth like that, he could be faking the whole relationship. The emotions and everything. I know everyone from the beginning believed he's been trying to use me for papers, and I so wanted to prove them wrong. I feel like I've been played for a fool. All of the "wedding dreams" he talked about-bullshit. The wedding doesn't matter to him because he never loved me. That's how I feel at this point, anyway. I can't trust anything he says anymore and I told him that. These aren't the only lies, there are others. Like he told everyone at the restaurant that he was "married" when he first started working there to cover up the fact that he had kids out of wedlock and his girlfriend left him. I don't know who he is anymore. He's been all over the world and he won't tell me hardly anything about it. I do know that when he was in NYC he was selling knockoff clothing-which of course is illegal. This is someone who professes to be a Christian. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't have a very good impression of Christians now thanks to him and several other "Christians" I know. No offense to anyone here. It's very frustrating to me that I pushed myself to get married when I wasn't ready-I did it for HIM-and he repays me by lying like a jerk.

He's been trying to talk to me like everything is OK now but I refuse to act like it is. All he keeps saying is "I'm sorry"-I want to see ACTION for once. I told him that very thing but he can't get it through his thick skull. Words mean nothing to me-especially from a liar. It's not only about the money, it's about his integrity. Like I said I don't know who he is anymore. I don't know what to believe. I'm not ready to leave him yet, but I've decided to pull away from the relationship emotionally as much as I can, and continue building myself. Hopefully I come up with the courage to get on with my life soon because I don't see a future with him anymore. less

Honey, it's one damn thing after an other with this guy. I think you know how I feel about him (for what it's worth.) I think he's full of shit and, yes, using you to stay in the country.

I had NO idea he had kids, (PLURAL) with an other woman! I thought he had never had sex before or had all this "practice abstaining?" I'm confused.

I can't tell you what to do. I do have some questions; 1)How could this ever get better? 2) What is going to lie about next? 3) Why does he use religion to keep you from leaving, just so he can stay in the country?

Babe. I think you know what to do. Whether it's annulment (which can take a LONG time) or divorce, get the hell out.

There's only one thing worse than a liar.... a smooth liar. You can't trust him. You KNOW that. Is that going to change? You know it isn't.

All the questions you've asked, all the doubts you've had. I think this is the final straw. Of COURSE he's lying. He wants to stay in the country.

You have a lot more power than you think you do. Use it, sweetie. And NOW, today, before he uses some of his bullshit fake "love skills" and wins you over again before the next lie is exposed.

Really. You deserve better than this guy.

I'm SO sorry this happened. Nobody deserves t be treated this way. The only way to stop being treated this way is to get as far away from him as possible.

And, if your parents won't fire him, you have a lot of thinking to do. Do they really want you married so badly that it's better to have a sham marriage than none at all? WHY?

You are stronger than you think. DO what needs to be done and get your life back. I'm terrified you're going to get pregnant again before you kick his sorry ass to the curb. Then you're going to feel completely stuck, for years, maybe for life.

You deserve better, and you are stronger than you think. USE your strength and stand up for what YOU need and for what you want and for what is best for you.

I'm so so sorry this happened. But, I think this makes it crystal cleat what kind of person he is. less

Hmm....Well, not to come across as negative, but I can tell you this from experience and from seeing relationships my friends have been in: Liars are the worst. They never change. Eventually you'll be kicking yourself for sticking around so long once more and more stuff comes out and you finally get fed up and leave. Trust me, I've been there, and it's hard, and you think it will get better, but some people just don't. And that is a big thing to lie about, and to lie about it continuously....Outloo k not so good, I would say, but..you probably know better than I do. less

Some of you may have seen my other posts about how I'm frustrated with our sex life, etc. Well, this is something else. Sorry if this is getting redundant but I need to vent and I don't have anyone to talk to.

A bit of background is necessary but I'll try to keep it short. Before we had our "shotgun wedding" (April of last year) one of the stipulations I had for me to go along with it was that we would have a REAL wedding one day. He had promised to give whatever was left from his tax refund after paying his lawyer and Immigration fees to our Wedding Fund. For months after the filing deadline, I didn't hear anything. When I started asking, it was one excuse after another. Finally in OCTOBER, he finally admitted that he gave the remaining funds-$1,000-to his ex "for his kids." I hit the roof. I was ready to annul the marriage right there, but he begged me and I made him sign a paper stating that he would give me the $1,000 in two monthly installments. I only saw $600, but whatever.

Fast forward to this year. Beginning last month, remembering what happened last year, I questioned him about the tax return (BTW-if anyone is wondering-I didn't file the last two years because I didn't earn enough money to be required to pay. And we have separate bank accounts, hence why I didn't know he got the money last time.) He kept saying he didn't have it, but I didn't believe him. This Tuesday I got fed up and I asked several people at work if they got their tax refund. They all said yes, a long time ago. I took him outside and demanded he tell me the truth. My parents, too got very upset and said they would contact the CPA that does payroll for the restaurant and try to find out the truth. If he were lying to me they would fire him. He STILL denied it. Then at the end of the shift, he came outside where we were all sitting and told us that he has had the tax return for a MONTH AND A HALF. But wait...it gets better! He didn't tell me because he was "shocked" at the amount and thought it might be a mistake!!! He said he was planning to tell me next Saturday at my cousin's wedding because it would have been two months then without the IRS asking for their money back. Wtf. I don't believe that story for a minute. Maybe if he hadn't lied about this before, I would. But he did, and it almost cost us our relationship. And he's wondering why I'm mad?! He's been giving me $600 a day (the max his bank will let him withdraw) for the last two days, but I told him I may not even take it. Meaning it's over. I can't be with someone who is dishonest. He KNEW how upset I was last time, and he has to do the SAME THING again? Even if his story is true-which is pretty lame-the fact is he LIED. Again. Not once, but repeatedly. Honesty is the number one thing I value in a relationship. How he could lie about something like that is beyond me. What's scary is that he's such a damn good liar. He looked me in the eyes and told me that outright lie over and over. So in my mind, if he's so smooth like that, he could be faking the whole relationship. The emotions and everything. I know everyone from the beginning believed he's been trying to use me for papers, and I so wanted to prove them wrong. I feel like I've been played for a fool. All of the "wedding dreams" he talked about-bullshit. The wedding doesn't matter to him because he never loved me. That's how I feel at this point, anyway. I can't trust anything he says anymore and I told him that. These aren't the only lies, there are others. Like he told everyone at the restaurant that he was "married" when he first started working there to cover up the fact that he had kids out of wedlock and his girlfriend left him. I don't know who he is anymore. He's been all over the world and he won't tell me hardly anything about it. I do know that when he was in NYC he was selling knockoff clothing-which of course is illegal. This is someone who professes to be a Christian. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't have a very good impression of Christians now thanks to him and several other "Christians" I know. No offense to anyone here. It's very frustrating to me that I pushed myself to get married when I wasn't ready-I did it for HIM-and he repays me by lying like a jerk.

He's been trying to talk to me like everything is OK now but I refuse to act like it is. All he keeps saying is "I'm sorry"-I want to see ACTION for once. I told him that very thing but he can't get it through his thick skull. Words mean nothing to me-especially from a liar. It's not only about the money, it's about his integrity. Like I said I don't know who he is anymore. I don't know what to believe. I'm not ready to leave him yet, but I've decided to pull away from the relationship emotionally as much as I can, and continue building myself. Hopefully I come up with the courage to get on with my life soon because I don't see a future with him anymore. less